Need help w/ friends

I need your help before I do something irrational and lose a friend forever! I was talking w/ one of my best friends from HS today and she asked me again what my wedding date was. When I told her she said that she has another wedding on that same date and she was asked to be in it! Now I haven't really seen much of this friend in the past few years but from 7th grade until I was about 19 we were inseperable. Since then we see each other a few times a year and talk on the phone or through e-mail. I was planning to ask her to be in my wedding but I wanted to wait until I saw her in person which would have been tomorrow night. She is fairly close to the other friend that asked her to be in the wedding but I have definately know her longer. Now she has known about my wedding date since January but just found out about the other friends recently, however she has committed to being in the other friends wedding. Should I just ask her to try to make my wedding after the friends affair is over? Her friends wedding ends at 10 pm and mine will end at 1 am and they are about 45 minutes away. I am really upset and my FI says I should let her know but I don't want to upset her since I know this is difficult for her. Any advice???

Need help w/ friends

I would just tell her how disappointed you are that she can't share you special day with her, but if she can make it at some point after the other wedding, that would be nice. There isn't much you can do -- you must be disappointed, I'm sorry. But definitely let her know.

Need help w/ friends

Maybe you could explain to her how hurt you are because you really wanted her to be a part of your day. It probably wont change the situation but it may make you feel a little better if she knows how hurt you are. She might feel just as badly as you. I think I would still ask her to come afterwards even if it is only for a short time. I hope this situation works out for both of you.

Need help w/ friends

I`m sure it`s a tough situation for her as well with 2 friends getting married on the same day. You can voice your disappointment but remember it`s not like she did something wrong. Of course, tell her that you`d love for her to come by your wedding if it`s possible and then leave it at that. This stuff happens with weddings all the time. My oldest and dearest friend could not come to my wedding because she had a newborn baby and lives in North Carolina. We were both disappointed that the timing of big events in both our lives didn't allow for us to be together, although of course delighted that it was for such a wonderful reason. Nonetheless, I missed having her there but there`s nothing to do. Anyway, if there are any other things you are holding off on doing, especially involving people, definitely put them in motion. Good luck.

Need help w/ friends

Although your understandably upset, your friend is probably feeling the same way. It's not her fault that 2 of her friends are getting married on the same day, so when you do talk to her, try not to blame her. Just be really happy if she can make arrangements to go to yours later that night. This stuff does happen all of the time! My fiance has one of his best friends from high school and one from college, both getting married on Sept 15th. We are lucky they are both in the same area of Connecticut, and will attend the ceremony of the one friend at 3 cocktails immediately following, rush to the hotel to change, and then go to the other reception at 6 (miss their ceremony.) One of his friends was going to have him in the wedding party, but chose not to because he didn't want him to have to miss attending the other. I know guys are less emotional when it comes to this stuff, but bottom line is, they both are totally understanding to my f's predicament.