Need MIL help!

Sunny Posted: Apr 29, 2003 10:31 PM

Need MIL help!

Fh has a cousin that makes jewelry.

I commented once on fmil's necklace, and she told me the cousin made it. Then she told me for my wedding, she wants to have her make me one to wear, her treat.

She said we will all go to the city together and pick out the beads, and I agreed. She said it would mean a lot to her. I was nervous about it, but said ok.
I have since found and bought a necklace to wear that I love. I have not found a way to tell her yet, so I haven't. I just got an email that she is looking foward to going to the city with me- it means so much to her that I am going to be her daughter. HELP!

maysie18 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 10:46 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Uh oh, that's a tough one! maybe you can gently suggest wearing her necklace to the RD instead? Sorry that's all I can come up with that's not a lie! Did you pick out yoru dress already when you agreed to wear her necklace? If not, maybe you can nicely say you don't think this necklace will go with the dress you chose?
Esp. if it has embroidery/beading/detailing on it. Good luck!

maysie18 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 10:47 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Or . . . is it nice enuf that maybe some of your BMs could wear it at the wedding?

allure Posted: Apr 29, 2003 10:49 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Maybe you can wear hers to the church and yours to the reception or vice versa Plus you dont know what hers will look like you may really love it Good Luck

dino1109 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 10:50 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

maybe her cousin can make the necklace look the same!! or very similar.

Sunny Posted: Apr 29, 2003 10:55 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

I don't know if she can make the same- I don't think so. I know I sound mean, and she is nice, But there is kind of a history. When I first started planning the wedding, I called to tell her, (not because I wanted a thing0 I just wanted to make her feel included) and her response was-' Yeah? and? I can't help you financially if that is what you are looking for'
I was in no way asking or implying that I needed or wanted any money from her. So, she made me feel like an idiot.
Now she wants to buy my necklace- I really want to wear the one I picked. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want to wear her necklace either. What if it comes out ugly?

butterfly20 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:01 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

maybe they can make a bracelet that you can wear?
Explain to her that you found one that you just could resist and maybe you could wear her necklace for the bridal shower/rehersal dinner??

allure Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:02 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

What if it is really nice Maybe try to incorperate both necklaces

Sunny Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:03 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

I was thinking a bracelet- I was not planning on wearing one, but maybe I should?

dino1109 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:04 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

or break it by 'accident' last minute

Just KIDDING - really- thats mean

Sunny Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:05 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

LOL Dino! That is what I was thinking about doing to the cake topper-F(step)mil wants me to use!

maysie18 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:06 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Hmm, I'm liking the 'breaking by accident' theory Make sure it happens on your weddding day & be like 'Oh luckily I just happened to have this beautiful necklace lying around . . . '

Sunny Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:08 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Imagine??
'Oops- it must have been in the same box that my cake topper was in!'

Helene718 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:09 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

What about an ankle bracelet? It will be hidden under your dress!

dino1109 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:09 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

we're all so sneaky! we're going to hell.

lol !

allure Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:10 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

What about an ankle bracelet
I think you should wear something from her i think it is wondferful

smooch Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:12 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

oooh. sticky situation. i don't know. i'd probably wind up wearing it so that i didn't start off on the wrong foot. but i know how you feel, you want to wear what you want to wear!!

here's my suggestion that involves a bit of a little lie. what if you tell her that your mom (or someone else important in your life) bought you a necklace as a gift, not knowing your plans with FMIL? then you could offer to wear a bracelet her cousin could make, or maybe the cousin makes earrings too? i don't know. what do you think of that idea?

dino1109 Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:13 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Ooh- I think we have a winner! I like Eileen's idea the best!!

MissLinda Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

Just be honest. . .Wear the one you love!!! It's YOUR day. Tell her you'll wear hers for the RD. My FMIL wanted to buy the cake topper and the unity candle. . .(not my taste at all!!) . . I told her Thanks but no thanks . .it's not what I want. . . my mom will be taking care of that. She got over it!!

P.S. If you 'break' it at the last minute how do you explain having this beautiful necklace on hand???

Sunny Posted: Apr 29, 2003 11:18 PM

Re: Need MIL help!

I love that idea, Eileen! Earrings wouldn't be so bad- how about earrings with a matching ankle bracelet? I was going to wear a pair fh got me, but maybe he'll understand?

This whole thing is annoying. I know I am being mean, maybe even a little ungrateful, but she is not helping us at all- why does she have to pick the one thing that is so important to me?

I should have said no in the begining.