This past Saturday, my 4 BMs and I went to Adriennes in the city to look at BM dresses. I found this dress and loved how it looked on everyone. And everyone was fine --- except for my current roommate.
Not only did she not like it, she complained that it is 'matron-like.'
To add to that, she insists that she is going to find the same pattern dress and have it made by seamstress instead of ordering the dress...so, it's cheaper for her. She claims that she's done this at three other weddings and I am sure she could pull it off, but there's been other issues with her and this was the last straw!!
I am trying to understand where she is coming from on this, but I can't. It's my wedding and I want everyone to at least wear the same designer and same fabric.
AM I wrong? I need HUGS and SUPPORT.
Also.....IS IT COMPLETELY WRONG TO ASK HER TO BE EXCLUDED FROM THE BRIDAL PARTY? (not just b/c of the dress issues, but pending other issues -- can't get into details)
No You are not wrong!! You need to tell her that accepting to be in a bridal party, is accepting the expense, and what the bride chooses! BTY I think the dress is beautiful!!
Blu-ize
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Re: Vent: BM issues
Offer to buy her the dress...see if that works. If she still refuses something else is up.
lilqtpie2181
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Re: Vent: BM issues
U have been in a few wedding and basically when u agree to be a bridesmaid its like signing ur fashion rights away. If the bride wants you to wear a jester hat and jungle balls down the isle that is what you HAVE to do.. if u dont wan tto then u better think twice about agreeing to be in the party. Thats juts my opinion but I would have gotten upset enough to boot her!
mrspapagorgio
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Re: Need of hugs and support -- BM issue
You are not wrong. It is your day and asking a BM to get the dress you picked it part of the process. If it just a $$ issue, maybe you can pay the difference from what it would cost her to get it made to what the actual dress costs. If she is not happy with that, then you have to reconsider her a BM.
Hannah38
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Re: Need of hugs and support -- BM issue
I am not getting much love
brittny817
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Re: Need of hugs and support -- BM issue
No way are you wrong!!! Being that she has been in other bridal parties she should know better. There is NO WAY a seamstress is going to be able to make an exact duplicate of the BM dress which is lovely BTW. A lot of bridal shops will even tell you to order all of the dresses at the same time (just go a size up for girls you don't have exact dimensions for) because dresses are cut from different dye lots of fabric. Colors can be a shade or more off from dresses 'cut from the same cloth.'
Regardless, when you agree to be in a bridal party you have to go along with everyone for the greater good of the group.
I'm sorry sweetie. I know it's a total pain in the a$$ but you're not alone with bridal party drama.
These are for you
KandR419
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Re: Need of hugs and support -- BM issue
You are not at all wrong. In any wedding I have been in, the bride tells me what dress they want us to wear, and we wear it. It is her day (in this case, your day) and honestly, it's not about what you're wearing..it's about your friendship and sharing this special day with them!! So, I completely agree with your frustration. Good luck!!
Hannah38
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Re: Need of hugs and support -- BM issue
Ladies thank you for the kind words and suggestion. I think I will talk to her in the near future that I'd like everyone to wear the same dress no matter which dress I pick ultimately. All of my other BMs are willing to wear anything -- as one said and I quote 'even if it's a bright orange mini skirt dress, if you want it, I'll wear it.'
