Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

Okay! The drama has passed. Discussed it with FH and I overreacted. Jimmysbride was right why would I want to be in it or care if any of my brothers or sisters were asked. He's an A$$ and I'll leave it up to everyone else to realize it. As for her who cares what she does right?

Hi girls yes Im back venting again! I am one of 4 kids(Im the oldest)my brother and I grew up together and then my parents split and had another brother and sister but they are 15years younger then us(you'll understand why Im telling you this in a minute). My brother and I have never been bestfriends as brothers and sisters usually aren't, but once my dad passed away a few years ago, he's been a real a$$. Selfish and self absorbed doesn't even begin to explain him. Well he found a girl who is just as bad if not worse. The first time I met her she sat and told me all about her ex-boyfriend that she left for my brother and how much she loved him and how great he was! The second time I met her she realized that growing up in the same neighborhood I happened to not only know the ex but I was best friends with his sister when I was younger. Well she proceeds to bring out a photo album of the two of them together and flip through it with me--AKWARD!
Then my brother through her a birthday party and spent unbelievable money on her to have her get drunk and try to get into her car, which my brother refused to let her do so she stood up and told everyone what a piece of S*** my brother was and what a loser he was, etc. etc. etc. Then when my brothers birthday comes around she gets a 6ft. hero and invites all of her friends to their house and tells his friends the party is the following weekend so no one for him showed up and he calls me that morning to invite me.
There is plenty more but I think you get the gyst. Oh yeah, one other thing. They had an engagement party and only invited her family not ours and her friends and co-workers. My brother had 5 of his friends there(they invited 75-100 people). I was not invited, my kids, my brother and sister, my mother--no one. Then I get told it was just for friends and the bridal party. Well on Christmas she brings out the photo album with all of her family at the party.
Here's the hurt feelings part:
I was never told about the wedding, never asked to be in it, no one in my family was. Until I told a relative I wasn't going if atleast one of my older kids were asked to be in the bridal party(they were very close to him). All of the sudden out of the blue I get a phone call from the witch with a tone in her voice as if someone was twisting her arm. She wanted to know if my daughter could be in the wedding. The dress was already picked out and everyone already ordered there's. She bought a cheap gown that was being discontinued, could I get her down there to be fitted. Then she tells me the dress will be discontinued in 12 hours!! I ask her who was in her BP and she tells me all her friends and now your daughter. I ask her who is in my brothers BP and she tells me at first she doesn't know then tells me his friends and Im sure he's gonna want your son. OMG, is it me or should they both have asked at least one of his sisters or brother to be in the BP. I was disappointed I'll be honest but asking my daughter is fine but my brother was close to my other sister before my dad passed and my little brother is only 10 but idolizes my A$$ of a brother. Is it me? I was up furious all night over this stupidity. I already took her for the dress because I wouldn't hurt my daughters feelings since she was excited to be asked but even the dress is inappropriate for my 14yr. to wear. I don't even want to go to this wedding now! He's never even discussed any of his plans with anyone in his family except to tell us who he's not inviting.

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!

I'm confused as to why you would even want to be in this wedding party (or want your kids to be in it) if you don't get along with your brother or his fiance.

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!

Ya know your right. As far as the kids, my oldest two 12 and 14 were always very close to them they grew up in the same house. So I knew that it would hurt especially my daughters feelings, which it did when she wasn't invited to the engagement party because it was for (in my brothers words)friends and BP only! As far as for me I think it's just insulting. No matter what argueing goes on between us we are still brother and sister. I had planned on having both of them in my BP because I felt it was just the right thing to do. I think he should've asked my sister or my brother or both atleast. I don't know maybe it's silly but after having him constantly tell me that we are all we have(my brother and sister are from another marriage)I would've atleast thought it would've been a thought!

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!

Not me, not my daughter, not my son, not my 'anybody' would be in that chick's wedding. Sorry.

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

Updated my post! You guys are right. Why let it bother me? Believe me there is alot more baggage involved but again I just need to keep telling myself WHO CARES?

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

I saw that you were planning on asking themt o be in your BP because you thought it was 'the right thing' and I'm here to tell you that's a bad decision. No one you're not close with, regardless or relations, should be part of your BP. From what you've said so far, you would be setting yourself up for disappointment if you include them. Don't feel obligated to chose anyone. Pick the people who mean the most to you and that you know would be honored to be a part of your day.

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

Good -- don't let this stuff get to you! Just make sure your kids aren't getting hurt in the process and try not to let it bother you! You have your own wedding to plan!

ETA: And I TOTALLY agree with what nferrandi said!

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

Well I talked to FH and he reminded me that I had said if we were in their BP I would do what I thought was right and include them so now the decision was made even easier for me. Although I don't know how it will look when I have my other brother and sister in the BP and not them, but like FH said I really need to stop worrying about other people and their stupidity and start worrying about myself. Im glad I vented. You guys opened my eyes Thanks.

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

If you have your other brother and sister in your wedding party, why should you worry about how it will look? Your brother didn't worry about your feelings when you weren't asked to be in his!! Family drama sucks.

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

I would just keep both kids out of the wedding party...seems like a bit of drama is going on with this girl and your kids dont need the brunt of it

Re: Need opinion with hurt feelings!Long and Updated

Im sorry that this drama has made you upset but whats really upsetting is that you are upset over someone who apparently dosen't care as much in return.
Your brother chose his path and the wrong girl and as sad as this is, you have to walk away!
Your feelings don't seem to be their priority.

Hang in there and good luck!