Need opinions...

A good friend of mine rsvp's YES to our wedding,which was no suprise then about a 2 wks ago she calls me to say that things have been hectic lately with her going back to school and come July money will be tight...etc. So she wont be able to come to the wedding, BUT she put a wedding gift in the mail. I got her gift in the mail the other day which was a CHECK?! So FH is furious and says- Take it and buy her the ferry tickets and mail them back to her. I cant do that! So I ended up calling her back saying I appreciate the generous gift but dont feel comfortable taking it, (tore it up)since she's struggling with money and it's not about the money it's about her being there on our special day. She's now upset with me and her additude is like...what ever!... Am I at fault??

r u having a destination wedding?
I think you should just give her a call and let her know that her attending the wedding meaning a lot more than a wedding gift.
Is the ticket expensive? or maybe you can offer to pay some part of the ticke or hotel. Just tell her how you care her. I dont think she will get mad at you if you show her that you really want her to share the big day with you.

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Posted by ggcopying

r u having a destination wedding?
I think you should just give her a call and let her know that her attending the wedding meaning a lot more than a wedding gift.
Is the ticket expensive? or maybe you can offer to pay some part of the ticke or hotel. Just tell her how you care her. I dont think she will get mad at you if you show her that you really want her to share the big day with you.

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I totally agree. Explain to her how her being there is more important than a gift.

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Posted by westhamptonwedding

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Posted by ggcopying

r u having a destination wedding?
I think you should just give her a call and let her know that her attending the wedding meaning a lot more than a wedding gift.
Is the ticket expensive? or maybe you can offer to pay some part of the ticke or hotel. Just tell her how you care her. I dont think she will get mad at you if you show her that you really want her to share the big day with you.

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I totally agree. Explain to her how her being there is more important than a gift.

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I agree-she may think you were being spiteful b/c she said she was going and now cant. Explain to her that it isnt about the gift that you wanted her there!

Thanks for the reply's, we're originally from Boston and the wedding is on Long island so I think she's concerned over the ferry cost..? which is not that expensive... I DID tell her that It wiould mean alot to us if she was there and we dont care about a wedding gift. She just doesnt seem to care now that she made up her mind that she cant come. The check she gave as a wedding gift would of def. covered the amount for the ferry...

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Posted by Julybride2be

Thanks for the reply's, we're originally from Boston and the wedding is on Long island so I think she's concerned over the ferry cost..? which is not that expensive... I DID tell her that It wiould mean alot to us if she was there and we dont care about a wedding gift. She just doesnt seem to care now that she made up her mind that she cant come. The check she gave as a wedding gift would of def. covered the amount for the ferry...

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Relate what you just told us to her.

Etiquette wise, she did the correct thing by sending a gift after RSVPing no.
Put yourself in her shoes - wouldn't you feel awkward attending a wedding but not giving a gift ?

No. Maybe she's just got serious pride.
I'd call her