My parents just told me that they dont want kids at the wedding. Well i told them that we already have a flower girl that is 7 and a ring bearer that will be 4. so they changed it too they dont want infant at the wedding. So now here is my problem, how to i go about telling FSIL that here 1 year old has to stay home? She is already talking about getting a suit and everything. It would be easy if theere was no FG or RB and they are both her cousins. Please help me
Sweetpea130000
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Re: Need some advice please,
A friend of mine limited children to those in the bridal party only.
Happybride2005
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Re: Need some advice please,
that's your future niece or nephew? even if its a niece or nephew they can't be there. is there a particular reason they don't want them there?
micmar
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Re: Need some advice please,
I know what you are going through. It's me that does not want kids at the wedding. So I basically decided (for now) that I would limit kids to immediate family. So my three flower girls, who are my nieces will be there, along w/ my ring bearer, who is my nephew. But their parents are arranging to have them picked up after they are announced. Of course it always gets sticky because you need to set a cut-off. I would say limit it to immediate family & explain to your family that is the best way to cut it off. Maybe your FI can see if your FSIL can have him picked up early. Or just have him there, he is immediate family. I am more worried about kids running around all night, so that is why I am not wanting them there. Right now I am worried about my FI's nieces, they tend to get hyper & his SIL will not control them well. Anyway, good luck...
mushsgrl
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Re: Need some advice please,
I have been through all that. I explained that no other children are goign to be invited, it's my nephew to be. They say they dont feel that a wedding is a place for children. They didnt even want me to have a FG or RB. It would be easier for FSIL without the baby, she is in the bridal party and her husband is useless. But I just cant figure out a way to tell her.
holly231
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Re: Need some advice please,
I did not really want any kids at mine either...neither did my parents..
But, in the end...we allowed the nieces and nephews ONLY....no cousins, no friends, none of that...jsut my 2 nieces and 2 nepwhews whose parents were part of the bridal party too, so it did mess up a few of my pictures which made me upset, but what can ya do?
SomethingBlu
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Re: Need some advice please,
I know what you mean...sorry you have to grow through this. I told my family 'while I understand and realize the importance of children in all of our lives, it is our desire to have this be an adult only celebration. Of course, having you with us is of the utmost importance and we will make exceptions, if absolutely necessary'. It was some variation of this and I had it on my wedding webpage - everyone got it. My MOH is preggo and will have an infant byt the time the wedding rolls around, she said she wanted to bring her and get her a 'pretty dress'. I reiterated that loud music will be playing and Mommy and Daddy will be all dressed up and it would be nice if they can have a 'date night' without the kids, so she's sending her son (my godson, our RB) and her baby girl home with her mom after the church.
Good luck!
MrsA814
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Re: Need some advice please,
that is heard buti would just limt it down the fg then what can you do
jpavig
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Re: Need some advice please,
Not to seem mean or anything but isn't this YOUR wedding? Can't you have who ever you want there?
mushsgrl
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Re: Need some advice please,
If I were paying for it yes, but my parents are putting in a big chunck of money.
mushsgrl
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Well I just used the chicken way out, i spoke to her online, she is not happy
jimmysgrl
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Re: Need some advice please,
Oh, I'm sorry. In time, a lot of parents understand and know that 1. some of this is completely out your control and 2. that it really does change teh ambience of things. Thats really hard since its your future in law, but you can do something nice for him, like make him something special or a special favor he can play with the day of....
traceyd
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Re: Need some advice please,
The only children we are having at our wedding are neices and nephews (my one nephew will be 1 yr 1/2 and we are probably going to get a babysitter for him and my brother is expecting twins in july so they wont be there either) but we have the difficult task of telling my FH step brother that no other children can come (they are his stepneices and they live in california so we are hoping they can't come anyways-the mother and father are in the process of divorce)
it's sad to hope they cant come but we are trying to avoid having a ton of children at the wedding we already have 2 jr bm's a jr groomsmen and a flower girl and a ring bearer -not to mention two of my bm's are on the young side (also his neices)
JCMsGirl05
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Re: Need some advice please,
Sorry for your troubles Steph...
Do YOU want kids at the wedding??? I mean is he a problem. You parents have to respect that it is your wedding. Whether or not they are paying, they should have no say in who you invite, unless you are asking them to watch the kids.
Do worry about me saying anything....My lips are sealed...
Borricuamorena0905
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Re: Need some advice please,
One year olds don't eat, so it doesn't matter if your parents are paying for the wedding. THey don't have to pay for an extra head... If they were paying, I can see where they have a say, but there not paying for the child...
JBKempf
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Re: Need some advice please,
I'm surprised that she would want to bring a 1 year old with them. I would have gotten a sitter so I can enjoy myself.
Dooodles
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Re: Need some advice please,
The only kids at my wedding were nieces and nephews in the wedding party. My landlords asked if they could bring their 8 month old daughter and I was fine with it. I never even knew she was there. Do you have kids that you do want at your wedding??
suezboss
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Re: Need some advice please,
we are doing it that OUR First cousins only. (I have a cousin who's 10, will be 11) so since FH gets to have all HIS first cousins (who are adults) my mom feels that her ONLY neice (my 1st cousin) gets to go.
But that's IT.
SO I say, CLOSE relatives, like your FH's neice/nephew, is OK, but then tell mom it's ok for noone else.
JPC1125
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Re: Need some advice please,
if you want him there, your parents cant tell you that THEY dont want kids or its not right for them to be there: money or not.
I am dealing with parent issues too but what i keep saying is ' you had your wedding -- years ago....now its my turn'
Mushpot
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Re: Need some advice please,
I made mine an adult reception, and made sure that the age limit included the kids in the bridal party. We have a lot of new baby cousins, and I didn't think that it's necessary for a baby to be at the wedding.
