FH and I got into an argument last night and it's really still bothering me (what's up with these guys lately????).
Background: one of FH's friends, one of my BM's (I met her through him), broke up with her BF (FH's ex-best friend) of 10 years in October. She was dating around, got intimate with someone for about a month, then he decided to break it off with her for someone else. She can't seem to move past it.
She comes over EVERY weekend and stays until at least 2-3 am. There are nights when I go to bed while she's still over and she and FH stay up all night.
So last night we have people over, and she's one of them. Everyone leaves around midnight, at around 1:30 she says goodbye to me and goes to her car. FH walks her to her car (as he always does, no biggie), but almost an hour later, he still hasn't come back. I look out the window and they're just sitting there on the curb talking. I text message FH 'going to bed, love you' and never get a response. Finally, he comes back up, and I ask what that was all about. He says she was venting about the guys. I ask why he never responded to my text, he looks at his phone and says he didn't feel it vibrate.
Basically I told him that I'm getting sick of him constantly catering to her, and always staying up all night with her. I was waiting for him to come to bed and I was waiting up an extra hour.
Now here's the kicker: she told me about 2 months ago that 'If you and Mike weren't together, we probably would've hooked up.' THAT bothers me. And knowing that she's felt that way, it makes me even more concerned when they're alone so late at night. I KNOW FH would never do anything, but it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.
And I tell him all of this and he tells me I'm being ridiculous because it's not rational. I don't care if I'm not being rational, it's how I feel. And he just ignores me when I try to talk to him about it. So I say to him this morning, 'aren't I supposed to be able to tell you how I feel? Then why do you get mad at me when I do???'
I'm so annoyed about this right now and it just keeps festering. And of course I'm going gown shopping, and am SO not in the mood to now.
MrsSoto
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Posted by RitasEngaged
Posted by grkbarbie
shes a scumbag. plain and simple. u NEVER EVER say that. shes a piece of shyt. and he needs to fkn open his eyes and stop being such a suck3r. sorry im a lil harsh... but im letting u know how i feel. tell her to fkn get over it.
he needs to be more understanding to your feelings and cut the shyt with her. when u say ITS TIME FOR BED, it means she should leave and he shoudl go to bed with u, not sit on a curb while she vents. tell her to call the damn WAAAAAAAAMBULANCE (sorry i had to)
shes not 17. tell ur fh where its at, dont be so nice. what she said to u is unacceptable esp after u open ur home to her every weekend and listen to her bych and moan.
she disrespected u, and she def disrespected ur fh by telling u that they wouldve hooked up. i would slowwlly phase her out if i were u...
its trouble waiting to happen
misery loves company. ur fh may not do anything..but she can cause problems...as she already is.. its only going to get worse
ITA with this - unreal - she obviously wants him and is trying to get with him in my opionin
this is true...if I liked a guy who was engaged (not that I would ever tellll the fianceeee) and I was spending so much time with him, Id be thinking, what a fool of the girl for letting her FH be apart from her for so long! I'm not saying you are a fool atttt allllllll, please dont take it like that, but you dont want her sitting around thinkling like that!
Jenna_and_John
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Posted by JillandJoe
u def have a right to feel that way. I'd be mad! I trust FH, its other people I don't trust. Though I love my girl friends, we girls can be shady so I would keep a close eye on her. The fact that she said she and Mike would be hooking up if it wasn't for you is shady SH*T!!!!
ITA hang in there I'm glad you spoke up!!!
Lsorrent
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Well we talked. I think we're over it, who knows though. He understands where I'm coming from and why I'm upset. I absolutely told him what she said. He realizes why I'm angry with it, and the response was 'Laura, we've been together for almost a decade. If I wanted to hook up with 'so and so' I would've by now.' That's his way of confirming that nothing will happen, and that's fine with me.
His opinion is that right now she needs a friend, and we're all she has (with the exception of one other couple). I've known her for almost 10 years, and she is one of my closest friends as well, so I guess that's why it bothers me so much more. He reminded me that she goes over to the other couples' house during the week doing the same thing, except she leaves at midnight b/c they have a kid. He says we're just the 'weekend vent.'
I think for now, I'm going to let it go and see what happens next weekend. If it happens again next weekend, then it's going to be a BIG problem, because now he knows how I feel. As long as he remembers how I feel, it shouldn't become a problem again.
Thank you ladies for all of your support and advice. I REALLY appreciate it.
iHeartMoogle
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
I think she is obnoxious and jealous...you have him and she doesn't. When people make those types of comments, you know they just want to start things. I would hope she brought it up again and then say, 'well I'm marrying him so nothing's ever gonna happen...sorry to tell you.' Put her in check...
soontobemrsag
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Glad you guys talked...
emc282rjm
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Yuck. That's a really awful situation. I'm glad that you worked it out last night. She is clearly overstepping boundaries here. I'd be just as mad. At least you talked to FH about it...hope everything works out!
sykogodezz
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Posted by grkbarbie
shes a scumbag. plain and simple. u NEVER EVER say that. shes a piece of shyt. and he needs to fkn open his eyes and stop being such a suck3r. sorry im a lil harsh... but im letting u know how i feel. tell her to fkn get over it.
he needs to be more understanding to your feelings and cut the shyt with her. when u say ITS TIME FOR BED, it means she should leave and he shoudl go to bed with u, not sit on a curb while she vents. tell her to call the damn WAAAAAAAAMBULANCE (sorry i had to)
shes not 17. tell ur fh where its at, dont be so nice. what she said to u is unacceptable esp after u open ur home to her every weekend and listen to her bych and moan.
she disrespected u, and she def disrespected ur fh by telling u that they wouldve hooked up. i would slowwlly phase her out if i were u...
its trouble waiting to happen
misery loves company. ur fh may not do anything..but she can cause problems...as she already is.. its only going to get worse
I think you are my fav person on here. Honestly. lol I agree though. I dont think you have to worry so much about your FH. He seems like hes just trying to be nice to a girl he doesnt see as a threat. However, I would be watchful over her. I wouldnt be surprised from the sounds of all this if she didnt try something. I may be wrong but just be cautious. Maybe you and FH need to talk and maybe make some rules that both of you see fair. Like if you go to bed that means shes gotta leave. Youre not telling him he cant talk to her it just cant be all night.
soontobemrsag
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
You tell em GRKBARBIE!!! LOL you go girl!
MrsSoto
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
yes im glad you guys worked it out more or less and you feel a bit better...just dont feel bad to bring it up again if it doesnt start to change at least till a little earlier, him coming to bed. How did shopping goooo??
Lsorrent
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Thank you again ladies. I feel comfortable with where we left off. He may not agree with how I feel, but he does understand it. And that's all I can ask for.
I KNOW FH would never ever do anything with her, and it really is just about him being a good friend. But he realizes it left a bad feeling with me.
So we'll see what happens the next time she's here, and go from there. Just to throw in, when she made that comment, she was VERY VERY drunk. I don't think she would ever have made it otherwise. Not that it's an excuse, but still.....
Relish21
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Geeez I woulda flipped out too! Glad things are cool. At least you know nothing ever happened , that woulda been much worse knowing he's friends with a chick he used to hook up with.
::hugs::
It'll be fine
I'm a firm believer that guys and girls can't be friends ... but....sometimes you just have to learn to deal with certain people being in the picture. Trusting your man is the key!
:)
LadyC23
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
I think you were totally justifiable with being upset. I am glad that you and your FH were able to talk about it.
deanna225
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Re: Need some opinions (LONG)
Posted by JoanneAndJustin
The h*ll? You are right. FH won't do anything, but it doesn't mean she won't, and clearly she has no respect for you at all by telling you that crap. I wouldn't want someone in my wedding that completely had no respect for my marriage like that.. I'd kick her out.
She's the problem. I'd remove the problem.
ita with this. she is not a friend if she would say that.
