Need Some Sympathy and reassurance UPDATED

jess N brian031508 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 12:57 PM

Need Some Sympathy and reassurance UPDATED

My Fh and I live in Florida and have been planning a March wedding, I currently have no job and no insurance and have just discovered a mass that needs to be removed. My FIL's and my mom and dad are freaking out and want us to get hitched here so I can get medical but I honestly dont want another 'quickie wedding' I did that the first time around and this time I really had my heart set on a hall and a big wedding. I already have doctors and my surgery is scheduled although I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it
To make matters worse my date is only 212 days away and I havent gotten anything DONE, and when I say anything I really mean it, no hall, no vendors no dress no NOTHING!!!! I have plans to come to LI for 2 days next week and I will be booking my hall, (I have appointments with 3 but I know what I want) but I'm terrified that the surgery is really going to screw with my planning, To top it all of FH & I are paying for the wedding ourselves so my mom keeps trying to convince me to go with a hall that is a lot cheaper for a Thurs night but their price really makes me wonder.. how can they be so cheap and what is it going to be lacking. I'm just in a really crappy mood I guess, thanks for listening

futuremrsfab Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:01 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

OMG I am so sorry to hear that! I will prayer for you

Autumn08 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:02 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Honestly I would do it for insurance and still have the wedding in the hall with the ceremony.

Mikeysgirl Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:05 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

Since you don't have a job why don't you apply for madicaid? If they reject you then apply again after the surgery when you have high medical bills.

sassygirl9 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:18 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I'm sorry you are going through this. Follow your heart and do what you think is right. I hope it all works out.

megzzie Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:20 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I'm so sorry you're going through this - my thoughts and prayers are with you

davenjess Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:22 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I am so sorry for what you are going through... I will keep you in my prayers!

The Thursday wedding - i know i've seen a bunch of girls on here having them...why not start a posting topic about Thursday Night Weddings & see who you get to reply... My first thought is you may have less people able to get there from out of town...but other than that - it's just another day of the week!

ILOVEBRIAN2008 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:22 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

oh no im so sorry!

GinaZ Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:25 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

Im so sorry!!!

Maybe you could have a quickie wedding to get the insurance and then later have the big wedding to celebrate with your family and friends.

ZCHM08 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:27 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I'm so sorry. Can't you have a civil wedding so you can get the insurance and then have your dream wedding as planned?

DCLM726 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:30 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Espo22 Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:43 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

Posted by Autumn08

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Honestly I would do it for insurance and still have the wedding in the hall with the ceremony.

I agree 100%...i would just go to city hall and still have your dream wedding later on. Honestly just focus on getting the help you need right now, that's what is most important. Please focus on that.

March is just 7 months away and on top of having to get surgery and get better, the last thing you need to do is plan a wedding that is so close. It will be stressful bc places and vendors in NY get booked far in advance and you're gonna have to hustle even more to get it all done for March, yes it can be done but not worth the added stress you would put yourself through.

Whey dont you postpone the wedding, maybe end of the year. First see how the surgery goes and then think about a good time to get married.

I hope it all goes well, so sorry for what you are going through. You are in my prayers

Future Mulligan Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:47 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

Posted by ZCHM08

I'm so sorry. Can't you have a civil wedding so you can get the insurance and then have your dream wedding as planned?

as much as you don't want to do it, i agree that it might be best to have a civil wedding to get the insurance that you need....nobody even has to know that the two of you were married before the wedding.....you can still have a ceremony and a big party at the reception hall like you always dreamed of - i know that it ***** but life throws curveballs at us all the time and sometimes making the smart decision is harder to do - but i definitley think it will help you in the long run to have the insurance coverage that you need.....please don't be sad - no matter what happens i am sure you will get through it - all of us LIW girls are here for you!

ant n tilde Posted: Aug 17, 2007 01:48 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

first of all, focus on your surgery and recovery! You need to be healthy to fully enjoy the planning and your wedding.

My advice is to get married in city hall but you know what? DON'T TELL ANYONE! All you need is two witnesses I think and that's it. Go on your husband's medical and get the surgery. Don't even stress over the wedding until you are feeling better!

As for Thursday night, they are cheaper at ALL the halls so dont feel like you are going to be lacking anything. Also, you will save money before more people will not come. BUT REMEMBER the people who want to be there will be there!! People can come after work and leave early if they have to!

Stay well!

bemyyoko Posted: Aug 17, 2007 02:28 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

i will say a prayer for you.

i also wanted to point out... that a lot of halls have very low prices for Thursday nights because they are not a popular night.
from what i've read, you usually get MORE for less money on a Thursday. I would not worry about anything lacking.

RadiantBride Posted: Aug 17, 2007 02:34 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I am sorry you are going through this.

I agree with all the girls in that you should have a civil wedding now (and no one has to know) and then when you are up to it plan for a big hall wedding. If you are feeling better once you get the hall the rest will come together in no time.
My are with you and good luck in the decision that you make.

Two Sleepy Heads Posted: Aug 17, 2007 03:02 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I am really sorry that you have to go through all this at once!!! Be strong!!! Take things one step at a time!!! Start with the hall and work little by little. If you need any help with researching just let me or one of the LIW girls know!! I'm sure they will help however they can to make your wedding dreams come true!!!!

A suggestion for a hall: Thatched Cottage in Centerport is where I am having my wedding. The prices were pretty good for us. I don't know what they are now because they renovated the place and it looks 10 times better but you might want to check them out anyway! The cake is included and you get a wonderful cocktail hour! I have pic's in my albums if you wanna take a peek!!!

Also rambling Rose Video has decent prices for a videographer.

As for flowers and Invites.......DIY!!! It's really not too too hard. Invites you can do where you are!! It's time consuming but it will save you some $$$!!!

Good Luck with everything!! My prayers are with you!!!

=) M

jess N brian031508 Posted: Aug 24, 2007 04:09 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance PLEASE

I just wanted to thank all of you girls, you made me feel so much better. We decided to continue planning the wedding so I just returned from two tastings in NY, both of them were wonderful but there is a huge menu & location difference between the two so now we just need to make a decision, although the prices are very similar (both halls are holding my date for me). My surgery is scheduled for Monday morning and then I'll be laid up for a while so I will start to work on my DIY's. Thank you for all of your suggestions and I'm sure I will have a million different questions for everyone soon

Jesses Girl Posted: Aug 24, 2007 04:15 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance UPDATED

im sorry hun

i hope all goes well with ur surgery

lilangel369 Posted: Aug 24, 2007 04:19 PM

Re: Need Some Sympathy and reassurance UPDATED

umm ... it doesn' t have to be a quicky wedding ... just have the date bumped up more. since ur hall hasn't be set yet. maybe since you don't mind a thursday wedding i'm sure halls haven't been booked yet...