Need someone to talk to... (very long)

In the 6 years that FH and I have been together we have been through a lot.... we have had quite a few deaths in the family, but they have all been older people and unfortunately expected. Yesterday we received the worst news ever... my FH's 47 year old cousin passed away.... and we do not know why.... he is having an autopsy done. His name was Tony and he passed away b/4 he even hit the floor. He left behind a beautiful wife and 2 AMAZING children, a boy 13 and a girl 10.

At first i was not going to post anything about it, but i am so depressed about all this.... seeing his wife last night is an image that is burned into my brain. FH was extremely close to Tony and so was FFIL. This was FFIL's best friend... he was Tony's best man at his wedding... he was the one that introduced Tony to his wife!!! This family is an amazing family. Tony was an amazing guy... not one evil bone in his body.... he was such a good man it is not even funny... no enemys what so ever... he would always come over with enough sweets to last weeks and weeks. If you would tell him bring over a cake, he would come with two cakes, ice cream and cookies..... he always would go above and beyond the call a duty!!! He went straight to Heaven.... God got himself an amazing Angel... he is very lucky to get a guy like Tony up there... i just wish he didnt take him so soon... he had so much more to live for

Tony was an amazing man... b/4 FH and I got engaged, he would bust my chops and say 'Where is the ring Angela' and I would say 'I dunno Tony, ask Nick' and he would say, 'Don't worry it is coming...' and that would be a little routine we would always do.... Just this weekend he was telling FFIL how he could not wait for our wedding how he was going to be dancing and breaking plates.... he was so happy for FH and I... all he would do is talk about the wedding... both his kids are in our wedding.... Our wedding is not going to be the same w/o him...

I am a big ball of emotions.... i am pretty composed, except when i talk to FH I fall to pieces.... this wake and funeral i am not looking forward to... it is going to be a rough few days a head.

I just needed to let this out and I know you girls would be there for me.

Do me a favor and look at FH tonight and give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him. Tony's wife gave FH advice yesterday as said to him to make sure no matter what the situation is, always tell each other 'I LOVE YOU' and always kiss each other b/4 u go to bed. She said at least she got to tell him she loved him......