Need someone to talk to... (very long)

Original post by FinallyEngaged

Mar 14, 2008 10:49 AM

In the 6 years that FH and I have been together we have been through a lot.... we have had quite a few deaths in the family, but they have all been older people and unfortunately expected. Yesterday we received the worst news ever... my FH's 47 year old cousin passed away.... and we do not know why.... he is having an autopsy done. His name was Tony and he passed away b/4 he even hit the floor. He left behind a beautiful wife and 2 AMAZING children, a boy 13 and a girl 10.

At first i was not going to post anything about it, but i am so depressed about all this.... seeing his wife last night is an image that is burned into my brain. FH was extremely close to Tony and so was FFIL. This was FFIL's best friend... he was Tony's best man at his wedding... he was the one that introduced Tony to his wife!!! This family is an amazing family. Tony was an amazing guy... not one evil bone in his body.... he was such a good man it is not even funny... no enemys what so ever... he would always come over with enough sweets to last weeks and weeks. If you would tell him bring over a cake, he would come with two cakes, ice cream and cookies..... he always would go above and beyond the call a duty!!! He went straight to Heaven.... God got himself an amazing Angel... he is very lucky to get a guy like Tony up there... i just wish he didnt take him so soon... he had so much more to live for

Tony was an amazing man... b/4 FH and I got engaged, he would bust my chops and say 'Where is the ring Angela' and I would say 'I dunno Tony, ask Nick' and he would say, 'Don't worry it is coming...' and that would be a little routine we would always do.... Just this weekend he was telling FFIL how he could not wait for our wedding how he was going to be dancing and breaking plates.... he was so happy for FH and I... all he would do is talk about the wedding... both his kids are in our wedding.... Our wedding is not going to be the same w/o him...

I am a big ball of emotions.... i am pretty composed, except when i talk to FH I fall to pieces.... this wake and funeral i am not looking forward to... it is going to be a rough few days a head.

I just needed to let this out and I know you girls would be there for me.

Do me a favor and look at FH tonight and give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him. Tony's wife gave FH advice yesterday as said to him to make sure no matter what the situation is, always tell each other 'I LOVE YOU' and always kiss each other b/4 u go to bed. She said at least she got to tell him she loved him......

BunnyBears Posted: Mar 14, 2008 05:25 PM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

anamaree77 Posted: Mar 14, 2008 05:58 PM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

I am literally bawling. FH is getting ready for our pre-cana to start this weekend, it starts tonight. I am soooo sorry to hear this sad news. I am heartbroken for you and your family, please accept my deepest condolances. This is so hard. FM me if you need to talk at any time.

God Bless you and your family!

FinallyEngaged Posted: Mar 15, 2008 12:23 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

Thank you girl so much for ur kind words.... it means a lot during this horrible time.

Tonight was rough, we looked through old photos and picked out pictures to make a collage tomorrow.

I am being strong for FH and his family... i have my moments, but i have not fully 'lost it' yet. I know it is only a matter of time b/4 i fall a part.. but i have to be strong, if not for FH for the two beautiful children that Tony left behind

Thank u all again for listening...

Annoulak Posted: Mar 15, 2008 12:30 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

So sorry to hear about your loss!!

I hope the hurt lessens over time, while his memory lives forever!

bella1028 Posted: Mar 15, 2008 08:44 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

Oh I am so sorry for the loss, life is scary...we really never know what lies ahead for us...

Tori9299 Posted: Mar 15, 2008 09:45 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

I am so sorry.

ZKAT22 Posted: Mar 15, 2008 09:50 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

what a small world.

my cousin's wife is Tony's sister.

i was so heartbroken when I found out yesterday. And everything you said about him is so true. He was a sweetheart.

for his entire family and all his loved ones

hannahshim Posted: Mar 15, 2008 10:17 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

omg......
i'm so sorry. he sounds like an amazing guy
you and your family will be in my prayers

missK Posted: Mar 15, 2008 10:20 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

MsPotterhead Posted: Mar 15, 2008 11:13 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

I am so sorry to hear about your incredible loss. It is a tragedy. You sound like a wonderful person, and your family, as well as Tony's is very lucky to have you around. You will crack, you are right. Please know that it is OK-- and normal for that to happen.

My dad passed away very unexpectedly at the age of 59 -- a runner in perfect health. I know it was really hard on FH, not just me. I know he had his moments where he lost it, it is OK if you need to get yourself away the situation and let go sometimes. As much as you are taking care of FH and his family and Tony's family, please remember to take care of yourself too.

I am so incredibly sorry. I know what it is like to tragically and unexpectedly lose someone that good and that special. Be happy that you had the opportunity to have him in your life as long as you have. Your wedding won't be the same, its true, but it will still be beautiful and he will be there in spirit.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

wundmoretime Posted: Mar 15, 2008 11:18 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

so sorry to hear about your loss.
It is going to be a tough time. It is important to stay strong for those kids. They are going to need you now more than ever. Make sure that they are taken care of. No one can ever explain why some people just die so young and unexpected. My 12 yr old son just told me his good friend from school ( a small school) dad passed away Thur while jogging. he was in his 40s. It is hard when the young die. More acceptable and understandable when they are older. time is all that can really help now.

mRm2008 Posted: Mar 15, 2008 11:41 AM

Re: Need someone to talk to... (very long)

: That is so terribly sad. I have been super emotional myself the last week. I think all of us here can say its really easy to get wrapped up in all the wedding planning and lose sight of reality. Your post was a major SNAP OUT OF IT for me.

I will keep you all in my prayers through the upcoming weeks.