Need thoughts/advice
Ok again this is going to be long. Last year when I began planning the wedding I arranged with the church for the rehearsal to be on Thursday before our Sat wedding. The main reason was so we didn’t need to invite OOT guests. We could keep it small, intimate with only those involved in the ceremony-19 including 3 kids <8yrs and their parents. FH agrees with me on this. Over the past year I told his parents this reason numerous times. I found out 2 weeks ago the FFIL has invited OOT relatives to come in on Wed and stay at their house through the wedding. And now are planning on inviting them to the RD b/c they are paying for it and feel it’s not right to exclude his mom’s brother and sisters(but don’t feel it’s necessary to include my moms brothers and sisters). Basically FH and I have NO say in the RD. I am willing to leave the planning almost completely up to them. All I wanted was a small guest list of only those involved in the ceremony. This has now turned into a large argument between FH and myself and FH and his mom.
So in interest of keeping the piece I have come up with a solution-a win win for all of us. She can host a dinner/party/whatever after the rehearsal on Thursday. She can invite whoever she wants. My mom has offered to host a luncheon before the rehearsal that only include the 19 people above. FH agrees this is a great solution. I don’t see any problem with this. How about you guys?
FH has had all the conversations about the RD with his mom. She never offered to me to do it, nor showed me any interest in doing it. I have only heard about this problem from FH. FH now wants me to go and talk to his mom about the Rehearsal meal. I see it as going looking for a fight/argument now that a solution has been proposed. I feel the FH should continue talking to his mom about this. Why do I now need to get involved? I don’t want in-law problems. Shouldn’t FH be able to deal with this? Especially since a solution has been come up with?
Any thoughts/advice is appreciated. Am I out of line only wanting a say in the guest list which btw is smaller than what FMIL is planning and that I was very vocal about for the past year?
So in interest of keeping the piece I have come up with a solution-a win win for all of us. She can host a dinner/party/whatever after the rehearsal on Thursday. She can invite whoever she wants. My mom has offered to host a luncheon before the rehearsal that only include the 19 people above. FH agrees this is a great solution. I don’t see any problem with this. How about you guys?
FH has had all the conversations about the RD with his mom. She never offered to me to do it, nor showed me any interest in doing it. I have only heard about this problem from FH. FH now wants me to go and talk to his mom about the Rehearsal meal. I see it as going looking for a fight/argument now that a solution has been proposed. I feel the FH should continue talking to his mom about this. Why do I now need to get involved? I don’t want in-law problems. Shouldn’t FH be able to deal with this? Especially since a solution has been come up with?
Any thoughts/advice is appreciated. Am I out of line only wanting a say in the guest list which btw is smaller than what FMIL is planning and that I was very vocal about for the past year?
