need to vent....

i am at the end of my rope & ready to just elope. when i first got engaged i told my mom i didn't want a shower cos me & FH live together. She gave me no argument. after talking to alot of people they convinced me that i should i have at least something small. i just got off the phone talking to her about it among other things. i got the feeling she doesn't want to go through the hassle. i do have older parents in theirs 70s... but hello i do have a MOH who happens to be my sister. that's a whole other issue.

basically through my engagment the only person (besides FH) that has offered any help with planning or advice is my FMIL. My mother keeps bringing up money. i told her i don't want her money!! i told her nobody (including my sister) shows NO INTEREST IN HELPING ME PLAN MY wedding!! . My sister has been dragging her feet with her dress. I told my mother my FMIL is NOT my mother that SHE IS! i know i made her feel bad. but i have felt this way for quite awhile.

Except when first got engaged she hasn't even brought up anything about a GTG with my FH family.

She is not a mean person just the opposite.. I know her age has slowed her down. But how hard is to plan a small shower of about 15/20 people & ask for my sister to help?!?!

Am i being selfish??

thanks for listening

i do not think you are being selfish.
it doesnt sound like the vent is about the shower itself, it sounds more like you're upset that they arent more excited and more interested in helping you.

I can sort of relate. It's hard when you're own MOH shows less intrest than a bunch of people on the internet.

I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, but i think you have a right to be upset.

sorry to hear your having problems with your MOH too!!

i'm just upset that my own mother & sister don't call me up once in awhile to say hey are things going with the wedding?? need any help??? i can excuse my mother in a way cos of her age & she deosn''t drive..

its been building up for awhile & just had to get out today.

I know its probably bothering my mother...but like her told i don't need her money. i want her to be there for me

thanks !

I don't think so at all.. I'm sorry you are sad.. and I really hope you can speak to them and let them know how you feel.. and they turn around and plan an amazing little shower for you

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Posted by kellybean

I can def see you being upset...and being that you have an absentee MOh for lack of a better way to put it do you think you could hav eon ofyour bridemaids offer to help you r mom with alot of the leg work??

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i don't have a bridal party...only having a MOH.. my main reason for not having one is to avoid drama!

looks i'm getting it anyway

thx

Thanks everybody for the kind words...

it just feel so good to get the words out today.. it wasn't so much a fight.. but when she kept saying how i don't need her that my FMIL is great ... I said to her yes but YOU are my MOTHER...she isn't it !

i don't know if those words sunk in...but what hurts the most is its my own family..... that they aren't being supportive... obviously i changed my mind about the shower.. couldn't she have said i'll see or talk to my sister about it... at this point i feel like i am begging for one. so i don't even want one

You're not being selfish at all - I totally understand how you feel. Maybe you could tell your FMIL that you would like a small shower/GTG and maybe she could call your mom and talk to her about it. She can say that all three of them (FMIL, mom, and sister) can work together and plan a shower. Good luck!

No you are not being selfish...I am not sure what to say...it is hard when your family disappoints you...have you tried speaking to your sister about this?

i feel so stupid asking my family to give me shower/party..Isn't it automatic??! your asked to be a MOH or in a bridal party...you throw the bride a shower. its supposed to be a 'surprise'..

i guess i shouldn't have opened my big mouth in the beginning.