NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I NEED TO VENT BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fiance has 2 best man and one usher in our bridal party. Now, one of his best men is my brother who is only 15 and not capable to plan any type of bachelor party although he wants to. So our other best man ( I figured) would plan it. No plans yet, no talk about it, nothing at all! But he did just have a baby so I figured that was the reason. So i sent him a sweet as pie email about if he needs any help to let me know, that I odnt want to interfere with the 'guy' plans but that I really would like my fi to have something special for him as well. Mind you, my fi has hardly any family. his mom and dad both passed away which is hard enough already. So this guy did nothing, no one has said anything and I find out my bachelorette party is in 2 weeks and his is no where in sight! I feel soooooo bad. He deserves to have fun and be special. What should I do???? Call the other guy? I dont want them to think that I want to control everything but no one has planned anything. What should i do?? I am lost here. All i want is happiness for my fi...it hurts me that no one wants to do this for him! Please help me.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

Would it be weird for your brother to give him a call as the 'other' best man, just to see if there are any plans being made, even though he is so young? just a thought.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I have never seemed to follow what 'tradition' called for.
I would definitly not make this a big issue.
Call the guy yourself and just ask him if he could get some friends together for a night and take your Fiance out. Explain to him JUST what you did here on the board.
Heck, you could even help him plan it if he needed your help.

This is a girl ( me) who insisted her fiance and father and 2 brothers were at her bridal shower lol

You are not controlling by calling him, controlling would be trying to keep him at home and not wanting him to go out.

Go For It!
Good Luck

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I'd call him and say exactly what you said to us and ask him flat out nicely, ifhe is going to give him one.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I agree to talk to him. Bachelor parties aren't a secret so why don't you ask him while he's w/ your FH. You might have to take in consideration that his wife/girlfriend might not want him to go. (It sounds stupid but I have a friend who feels that her husband shouldn't go out since he became a Dad)

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

It does sound like a better idea to just call him directly.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I would talk to one of the ushers and see what's going on and ask them if they have put any thoughts to it. There are many types of bachelor parties some of which your brother can be involved and help plan. They can go to a steak house..go to a sporting event..go camping. I would either talk to the guys myself or your brother and see if someone can stir the pot. Remeber often guys are last minute planners - depends on the guys.

Also, there is no rule saying the groom can't help in the planning. I am totally helping in the planning of mine and wouldn't want it any other way!

My SIL had the same issue. It all worked out in the end. It got planned days before and we had a blast. (Meanwhile the bachelor party was months in the making!)

Good Luck.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I have a lot of men in my life (brothers, uncles, work mostly with men) and know that as good as they are, they are the worst when it comes to getting their act together and planning events for one another. Did he respond to your email? I would call him and be real light-hearted but direct about it. I'll bet the guy is just taken up with his baby and needs some help. Take the nice and helpful approach and offer some ideas (a baseball game, a restaurant to start out at, a minivan service to drive them around, whatever). Hope that helps.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I think you are right to leave your 15 year old brother out of this. He is not really old enough to participate in a bachlor party BUT maybe he and your FH could go out to Sports Plus one night and have their own celebration.
In regards to the other BM- I KNEW that my FH's brother (24 and lives in MA) would never put together any type of a bachlor party for FH. So I called one of our groomsmen, who I am very close friends with, and ask him to take charge of it. He was more than happy to do it. He is organizing a day/night of brewery tours and dinner.
I would just call one of the other guys and ask him if anything is being planned. If not, you can ask him to please help with this since your brother is too young and other BM is too busy with the new baby.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

Just wondering how this is all working out?

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

Its not :( My bachelorette party is this saturday coming and still nothing even talked about for him. I think my girls planned somthing spectacualr cause there have been so many secrets lately...and for him...nothing..i hope he gets something. I think im gonna call the other usher and ask him first before I start palnning something for him myself. Any other suggestions would still be appreciated though! Thanks ladies!

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

Maybe since your girls are being so wonderful with you, they'll include your FH in the mix. Granted they may make him wear a jailbird costume with a ball & chain attached at his ankle... but it may be fun to have him attend your night out, especially if you know nothing's being planned for him. At least, if he's out with you, you'll have peace of mind knowing that he's having a good time and not sitting at home. Before you discuss this with the girls, I'd call all the men in the bridal party and ask them flat out what the heck is going on.

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I say, definitely get straight answer from the Ushers & best man. You have every right to want your FH happiness !!!!

Re: NEED TO VENT..PLEASE HELP!

I would definitely call the other GM, and ask if he could put something together - IF you think that FH really wants a night out with the guys.

Otherwise, it might be a nice idea to have a co-ed night out with all your friends. This is not the 'tradition' but, lots of people don't like the idea behind the bachelor/bachelorette thing anyway. I understand that your girlfriends have already put something together for only you, but if you explain how much including FH means to you, I am sure they will understand and figure out a way to get him and his friends involved.
Perhaps everyone can meet for dinner and then girls/guys split up for some drinks/dancing/pool hall/gambling/whatever.

Don't stress about this too much...remember that in the scheme of the entire wedding, these parties really serve little importance to the rest of your lives together.
Best wishes!