Not to be a stinker here, but maybe he doesn't get you cards like you want becuase that IS something he did with his ex, and it ended up so badly he doesn't want to do the same thing twice, and with your wedding being so close, could he possibly be afraid of a deja vu situation? I think i'd be terrified if i had an ex-fiance break up with me, and am now at that point with another person. He could be projecting his fears and anxiety onto you, making it seem like he's not ready or unwilling to meet your needs.
If I were you, I wouldn't do anythign drastic like walking out, but I do think you need to talk, and maybe do it with the help of a professional. Do you think you could get in a premarital therapy session, or maybe meet with a priest or someone who's been somewhat inolved with your wedding?
Good luck...
I totally agree! Maybe it just reminds him of the past. I would talk to him before you make any decisions
DanNette
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your advice
The cards are what he did with the gf in the past. That was their thing. Is there something else special he does for you that is not a card? It sounds like you need some confidence in the relationship and he may need to do a little something extra to give you that. You need to follow your gut here. If you need more time, you need more time, you have to do what is best for you. Don't focus on the cards, focus on how to get more confidence he's with you and not his ex.
daisy44lc
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your advice
He and I talked.....sort of. Things are better, and we hope to talk more tomorrow or Friday.
Part of his reason is that his family doesn't show alot of emotions and he put himself out there once before and it backfired. And maybe I can see that. He and I have dated three times. The first time was when his previous fiancee broke it off. He and I dated for a couple of months and he was incredible. But then they got back together. They started planning the wedding but then she broke it off.
Several months later he and I ran into each other and we started dating again. He wasn't the same. We dated for awhile but at the would be one year anniversary he decided he wasn't ready to be in a relationship.......then 5 or 6 months later we got back together.
We have been dating steadily for the last 3+ years. I hope that when we talk that he needs to understand that sometimes I need some reassurance in our relationship and that he needs to be there for me without me asking. Like I said earlier I lost many family members in a short period of time and a sympathy card at such a time is not a ridiculous request. He is going to try to ask me about my mom and grandma (my mom was recently diagnosed with a spinal tumor and my grandma with leukemia).
I appreciate everyone's advice.....I was so sad last night and it helped knowing that there were people around.
