Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

gina674 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:16 PM

Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Ok.... I know I'm beginning to get a little freaked out that November is fast approaching, and I'm dealing with vendors that do not return phone calls, but if I'm being a Bridezilla about this next question, please bear with me....

One of my Jr BMs is 15 years old. A couple of months ago, I was at my FSIL's house, and my Jr BM was wearing a Tank top, and I noticed, she has yet to start shaving her under arms.... I thought nothing of at the time... When we ordered the dresses, I noticed it again and yes, it was VERY noticeable.... then I saw her on Father's Day and she was wearing a sleeveless top and yet again it was quite noticeable that she doesn't shave at all......

I'm not trying to be mean or judgemental, but I don't know how to approach this..... I was brought up that it is just routine hygene. It's not something that you can't see though, It is VERY visable, even with her arms down.....

How can something be done being tactful, or if it is a cultural thing, which I'm 99.9% sure it's not, how could this be covered up. The dresses are strapless, the only thing I could think of is a pashima, but she won't be wearing it the whole time.....

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:18 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you could do about without being rude. It is an acceptable thing in many societies not to shave.
If this the choice she has made then you have to accept it.

metmymatch Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:19 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

yikes. that's a sensitive topic.

what about a bolero jacket?

lauren721 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:20 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Ewww... She is 15-- I started shaving when I was a lot younger than that! How does she get along in school without getting picked on? You do not want that in your pics! That is a tough call, though. Maybe you can say to her that it would be fun for you and her and some of your other bms to go get waxed together and when you get to the place, tell them to wax her underarms. I fshe protests, tell her at that point that she has to bc she is wearing astrapless dress and it would not look right on her. I don't know, maybe thats mean... This is tough!

SPITSBRIDE Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:21 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

I think it would be rude of you to ask her to shave, there is no nice way of asking or even suggesting something like that. Unfortunately, it's just one of those things you have to accept her for.

gina674 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:22 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Posted by lauren721

Ewww... She is 15-- I started shaving when I was a lot younger than that! How does she get along in school without getting picked on? You do not want that in your pics! That is a tough call, though. Maybe you can say to her that it would be fun for you and her and some of your other bms to go get waxed together and when you get to the place, tell them to wax her underarms. I fshe protests, tell her at that point that she has to bc she is wearing astrapless dress and it would not look right on her. I don't know, maybe thats mean... This is tough!

This is what my sister suggested.... I said the bolero jacket too!!! I know this is tough, that's why I'm asking you girls for help!!!!

BunnyBride Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:22 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Is it possible you could speak with her mother with out your Jr.Bridesmaid knowing?

It's such a personal issue..so sorry you have to deal with this

reenielady Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:50 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Maybe she doesn't know it is customary to shave - in a tactful way you may want to say about how who shave and see if she picks up on it - Does her mother shave if so - I would ask her to say something.

citycrab705 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:55 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

I think you should talk to her mom, does she shave, i know my mom tried to talk me out of shaving my legs for as long as she could, she said once you start thats it, but of course i ignored her and did it when i was ready

dna143 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 02:55 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Yikes..this is hard. I wouldnt have the courage to say anything...does she shave her legs or anything? Or doesnt shave at all. Maybe you can go out for a girls day gettin nails done and such and include waxin maybe that will be helpful.

irishsweetheart Posted: Jul 12, 2006 03:07 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

I would try going through her mother...

dbleplay17 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 03:09 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Posted by BunnyBride

Is it possible you could speak with her mother with out your Jr.Bridesmaid knowing?

It's such a personal issue..so sorry you have to deal with this

I would speak to the mom

Chrissywish Posted: Jul 12, 2006 03:23 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Is there possibly another woman whom you would feel comfortable talking to, who is close to the girls mother....maybe she could have a 'oh i noticed so and so is really started developing into a woman...have you had to have any of those talks yet (the ones about the period, shaving blah blah)???' and see if the mother has even brought it up yet...if she hasn't maybe she could politely in a I'm not telling you how to raise your child way suggest that maybe it is time

that's the only thing i could think of...good luck

JIFFY Posted: Jul 12, 2006 03:27 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

I'm not being mean but in the summertime dosen't that have an odor? I would just think it's a natural thing to want to shave your armpits. Does she shave her legs? I think it's a little odd. Touchy subject.

gina674 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 03:33 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Posted by JIFFY

I'm not being mean but in the summertime dosen't that have an odor? I would just think it's a natural thing to want to shave your armpits. Does she shave her legs? I think it's a little odd. Touchy subject.

Thank you so much for helping me! You have all given such great ideas!!! I'm not sure if FSIL shaves
She never wears tank tops or anything like that..
And no, Jr BM doesn't shave her legs either.... I really like the ' Your child is developing' one, and maybe I can work it from there... And..Oh yes!! There is an odor....

October Bliss Posted: Jul 12, 2006 05:48 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

I know a lot of the girls recommended talking to her mother - but I'm not sure I would go that route. IMO, that kind of thing is taught to a young girl by her mother. If the hair is as bad as you say (together wtih the odor), I would think it's because her mother doesn't see anything wrong with it.

I would try the tactic of talking to the 15 year old directly and asking her if it is a new 'fad' or trend or whatever word kids are using these days to describe things that are 'in'.

ellengrisal Posted: Jul 12, 2006 05:54 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

Honestly, unless you are the girls mother, I don't think you are entitled to say anything. You don't know the particulars and you may really offend both the girl and her mother. JMO

ant n tilde Posted: Jul 12, 2006 06:07 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

it definitely depends on your relationship to the mother - if she is from your FH's family then maybe someone from his family can talk to the mother

also - i would try to see if the mother shaves. . .if she does then maybe it is just an age thing and its not so bad to bring it up

if she doesnt - then it could be insulting

i find it so odd though - my mother wouldnt let me shave until the 6th grade. . . so i completely stopped wearing shorts, tank tops, and bathing suits for the beginning of the summer until she let me Nair - i guess the girl just doesnt care though?

if anything - i am sure no one in the wedding will care. . . but i would suggest a bolero also. . .

tropicalbride07 Posted: Jul 12, 2006 06:13 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

LOL..I herd z100 talking about that not too long ago. And a mother was talking about her daughter who does not shave, but did for formal event like weddings. Because we do live in a society that's seen as the norm.

If she is in your wedding, I assume you are close. Can you mention it to her? Or ask her mother to?

Good luck!!!

nickipa Posted: Jul 12, 2006 06:44 PM

Re: Need Your Help Girls!!! 'Hairy' Situation.....

do you feel comfortable talking to her mom?? Maybe you could start by asking her mom if her daugther will be okay with wearing a sleeveless dress for your wedding???? its such a touchy situation, but I would think at 15 a lot of her friends are already shaving, maybe she hasn't talked to her mom about it yet? Good luck!!!