So basically to make a long story short: My dad's cousin said he would be coming to the wedding and would also bring his 8 year old son too. My dad said that we weren't inviting kids to the wedding. SO as my mom is telling me this story she asks, what will John's (my FH) sister do with her baby because we are not allowing kids at the wedding. In my opinion, it is okay to have FH's sister's baby at the wedding because this is our immediate family, not some distant cousin's son who we've never met. Not to mention, the baby would not count as a person at the wedding because she's an infant. I think it's totally appropriate to invite my future niece to the wedding and not have other kids there because she is a part of my immediate family. Lastly, they would be coming from Chicago to Long Island for a whole week, so I don't see how she could not bring her.
What do you guys think?
mathteach
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
In this particular scenario, I wouldn't quantify it by saying 'oh, no kids at the wedding' because when people see the baby, they might get their panties in a bunch. Tell people, like your uncle, that you are tight on space and simply don't have enough room to invite his son.
Alternatively, you could consider hiring a babysitter to stay at your mom's house or something to watch everyone's kids.
tlp123
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
We didn't want to have kids at our wedding either, but when someone came to us and said that they didn't have anyone to watch their child, we allowed it. It is very hard for some people to find someone to watch their children, especially infants. It would be totally understandable if she brought the infant. And Fh's sister is immediate family, as you said.
NC1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
I think your ok so long as you draw the line at your niece. If you start making exceptions for others then you might end up with some hard feelings. We are not having any children at our wedding, regardless of who they are (with the exception of the FG who may not even come to the reception).
IMHO, it really is not your concern if people have a babysitter or not. People have enough notice to decide what they want to do and I have found in the past that a lot of people will use the whole 'No babysitter' thing as an excuse.
My FSIL actually received a response card saying 'we would love to come but we have no one to watch so and so'. I just felt like the way they wrote it sounded rude. FSIL was like 'Oh well' But again this is JMO
longislandlibrarian
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
We are having 'immediate family children' and that's it!! Like... my fh's niece and nephew (the nephew is our RB) and we are having my goddaughter (FG) and FH's goddaughter. at the wedding.. the rest we just aren't inviting WITH KIDS.. if asked, we will say that we only have room for immediate family children... so that is how we did it......
We aren't expecting too much of a fuss... we think many people will want to come out and have a good time without the kids---at least we hope hehehe...
sumbr08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
I think that's a good idea: just immediate family only. I mean to be quite honest I am a little surprised that my dad's cousin said he would bring his son anyway. I have never met his son and have not seen my dad's cousin in YEARS! I mean an 8 year old kid would count as a person at the wedding. If they see the infant at the wedding, they may be annoyed, but I don't know if I am really going to worry about it considering i never see them anyway.
Thank you for all your advice!
Eternalyyourz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
yeah that is a hard situation... you need to decide on a rule and stick with it!! :)
snwb08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
i agree on immediate family only; i'm only having my sisters kids,who are all in my BP anyway.
Smde39
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
Does John's sister even want to bring the baby...
Jetfan1521
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
Can't get me started on the NO KIDS...lol...we sent save the dates to FH's family in Arizona...Mr. and Mrs. so and so....not the so and so family! They called and said they can't wait to make it a family trip! UM...FH's mom called them and said NO KIDS were invited...only having my FG and 2 RG's who are cousins of mine and they are 7 and 8! THAT'S IT! I think he was annoyed...but then don't come! I won't be hurt! I'll be more pissed if you bring the kids! LOL
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
it is hard to say FH and I have 10 nieces and nephews, ages 0-14 and some of our own younger cousins so we ARE having kids at the wedding
they are the center of our family and wouldnt have it any other way
is it possible to see how many regrets you get and possibly have room for him?
Inkedupkitten
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
We are not having kids at the wedding. We feel that it will not be appropriate for them to be around all the drinking. 95% of our guests are friends.....
YOu should be able to do what you two want. it is your day!!!
jeffamanda080808
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
We are only inviting FH's Nephew/Jr Best Man. He is very close with him, he'll be 9 at our wedding so we thought that was too old for a RB. We are also having Adult Reception to Follow on our invites. If people still try to RSVP with their children, my parents said they'd make the call to let them know that no children are invited.
AHimar24
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
We have a similar problem, it's not that I don't want kids, but I don't want a circus of them either. FH has 5 first cousins that are ages 15 and under and I have 5 nieces and nephews. All of whom I would never leave out. Now three of my cousins have two kids each and I don't plan on inviting them, it'll get out of hand that way.
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
iam also having no children at the wedding, and i dont think a wedding is a place for children anyway IMO, they dont even know whats going on at a wedding, for mine iam only having my daughter & FHs niece coming, if she wasnt his niece then i wouldnt have her there. they will both be flowergirls as wel.. i have people already saying in his immediate family (aunts, cousins etc) that they might not come due to my no kids rule, and i told them thats fine with me they can be ignorant and not come over something as stupid as that instead of just getting a babysitter for the night, if i was invited to a wedding and was told i couldnt bring my daughter, i would say thats fine , get a babysitter and enjoy my night without my child..its not something to say i wouldnt show up.
jtgarsik
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
imo - if it's a little baby - what's the big deal? it should be fine for her to come as long as u don't mind. Don't make it a big deal - the bigger deal u make something, the bigger deal it will seem to others (ie: ur mom)...it's COMPLETELY different than having an 8yr. old running around, and having other guests be offended that their kids weren't invited....but a baby??? c'mon know - she doesn't even add cost! i would get an extra chair set at the table so ur SIL can set up a baby seat for her....which u can do at no charge..my RH did this for my FG's. anyways, if u have no problem with them being there then have her come...PLUS she's coming out of state..and everyone they know will be at the wedding which results in no sitter..i'm sure she's not gonna leave her baby with some random person! lol.
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
Posted by tlp123
We didn't want to have kids at our wedding either, but when someone came to us and said that they didn't have anyone to watch their child, we allowed it. It is very hard for some people to find someone to watch their children, especially infants. It would be totally understandable if she brought the infant. And Fh's sister is immediate family, as you said.
i would never go up to someone and ask to bring my child just because i couldnt find a babysitter .....as a mother i know its hard to find someone to babysit, but i also respect peoples wishes and rules of no children at the wedding, i honestly would have just not showed up to the wedding, told the bride and groom why i couldnt make it, and still give them an envelope with my condolensces of not going
jtgarsik
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
ps: if u're not having kids, i dont think ur dad's cousin should bring his 8yr. old unless there's no other option.
jtgarsik
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
Posted by MISSESPINK722
Posted by tlp123
We didn't want to have kids at our wedding either, but when someone came to us and said that they didn't have anyone to watch their child, we allowed it. It is very hard for some people to find someone to watch their children, especially infants. It would be totally understandable if she brought the infant. And Fh's sister is immediate family, as you said.
i would never go up to someone and ask to bring my child just because i couldnt find a babysitter .....as a mother i know its hard to find someone to babysit, but i also respect peoples wishes and rules of no children at the wedding, i honestly would have just not showed up to the wedding, told the bride and groom why i couldnt make it, and still give them an envelope with my condolensces of not going
I agree....i think it's tacky to bring ur kid when they're not invited...invites usually go out about 2months prior to the wedding...in my opinion(and its just an opinion) that's plenty of time to find someone to watch ur kid.
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need your opinion re: kids at the wedding....
Posted by jtgarsik
Posted by MISSESPINK722
Posted by tlp123
We didn't want to have kids at our wedding either, but when someone came to us and said that they didn't have anyone to watch their child, we allowed it. It is very hard for some people to find someone to watch their children, especially infants. It would be totally understandable if she brought the infant. And Fh's sister is immediate family, as you said.
i would never go up to someone and ask to bring my child just because i couldnt find a babysitter .....as a mother i know its hard to find someone to babysit, but i also respect peoples wishes and rules of no children at the wedding, i honestly would have just not showed up to the wedding, told the bride and groom why i couldnt make it, and still give them an envelope with my condolensces of not going
I agree....i think it's tacky to bring ur kid when they're not invited...invites usually go out about 2months prior to the wedding...in my opinion(and its just an opinion) that's plenty of time to find someone to watch ur kid.
it is...and if i couldnt find anyone i still wouldnt dare go say...well i cant find a babysitter can i bring my child??
