NEW JEWISH WEDDING THREAD

I am also a temple bride, The Sephardic Temple! I looked at Beth El and it was a strong contender until I saw the sanctuary at the Sephardic Temple, I loved it!!

I also had a little ketubah issue with out rabbi. We're using FH's rabbi from Boston and he didn't want to have any women sign the ketubah. It was almost a deal-breaker, but we 'negotiated' and he said he would allow women to sign under the English portion, so we'll have 4 witnesses.

Yeah shuls! Yeah Yiddishe Maidlach! I'm kvelling!



So, FW and I are also getting married in a shul, Temple Beth Sholom in Smithtown.

In terms of the traditions, the ritual, and the ceremony, there are SOOOO many ways you can go. For folks that are liberal in their viewpoints but care about tradition, I would suggest checking out the New Jewish Wedding by Anita Diamant. Some really cool stuff in there.

My FW and I have two friends officiating (one's a rabbi, one's halfway through JTS); we are going to be writing the text of our marriage contract ourselves, since, at the root of the original text, the groom is buying the bride; we will have female and male chuppah holders, female and male 7 blessing readers. it's worth it to make it your own.

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Posted by Goldi1021

I had two women sign my ketubah. Granted the temple and rabbi were reform, but it had been allowed there. The only requirement was that both ladies be Jewish. DH's friends who were not Jewish, signed the license issued by the state.

There are so many different types of ketubot from Reform to Orthodox to interfaith. I suppose if it means so much to you, you should consider how you will live your lives and how you will affiliate once you become members of a shul (unless you already are as a couple). DH and I were both raised conservative. I lean more towards reform and he towards conservative. When we join a shul, it will more than likely be an egalitarian conservative shul which is how we compromised. Our Ketubah is a Conservative Ketubah with a Lieberman clause which requires him to give me a get should our marriage ever end.

My DH's sisters read the sheva brachot in Hebrew and English and it was and amazing way to have them be a part of the ceremony. Some Rabbis prefer a married couple or a married man to do it. Personally, I think the sentiment can come from people who arent married.

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in the book you suggested the new Jewish weddings, does it give details on where the old traditions that are modern came from, I'm not Jewish..........I'm a shiska(sp? )that's converting. I'm working with a reform congregation. I 'd be interested to know...

TIA

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Posted by perfectpair

in the book you suggested the new Jewish weddings, does it give details on where the old traditions that are modern came from, I'm not Jewish..........I'm a shiska(sp? )that's converting. I'm working with a reform congregation. I 'd be interested to know...

TIA

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Hey Perfectpair,

welcome to the family! We're glad to have you.

I've found the book to be a pretty useful resource. I didn't know a whole lot about weddings except that I suspected that the liturgy tended to be on the malecentric. Depending on how much you want to do, there are some really fun, great, and meaningful traditions. I also really like the book because some Jewish wedding books present it either in a very rigid way (this must be done this way because...) or in kind of a condescending way (you COULD do that, but why would you want to).

Feel free to fm me with any other questions; we've also got some other very knowledgeable Jewish ladies on here, we're happy to help!

--the stealth groom
(giving meat eating, sports watching, bourbon drinking men a voice on liweddings since 10/06)

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Posted by Soon2BDoubleL

my fiance knows the area, but we knew we wanted a small wedding and I'd been to a wedding there previously. The place is gorgeous and definitely exceeded all expectations of what they offer.

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Yup, and as we talked about on FM, you will get more than you even thought. I didn't have one complaint. The bridal attendant followed me around all day, the managers were everywhere and your guests will be amazed by how beautiful the place it. I'm excited for you

In regards to the size, the place is perfect for a party of 200 or less. There is enough room to boogie, but no extra space on the sides. The bars are right there, etc. And, for the old people who think the music is too loud, there's a beautiful sitting area outside of the reception area.

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Posted by stealthgroom

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Posted by perfectpair

in the book you suggested the new Jewish weddings, does it give details on where the old traditions that are modern came from, I'm not Jewish..........I'm a shiska(sp? )that's converting. I'm working with a reform congregation. I 'd be interested to know...

TIA

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Hey Perfectpair,

welcome to the family! We're glad to have you.

I've found the book to be a pretty useful resource. I didn't know a whole lot about weddings except that I suspected that the liturgy tended to be on the malecentric. Depending on how much you want to do, there are some really fun, great, and meaningful traditions. I also really like the book because some Jewish wedding books present it either in a very rigid way (this must be done this way because...) or in kind of a condescending way (you COULD do that, but why would you want to).

Feel free to fm me with any other questions; we've also got some other very knowledgeable Jewish ladies on here, we're happy to help!

--the stealth groom
(giving meat eating, sports watching, bourbon drinking men a voice on liweddings since 10/06)

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Thanks so much, I'm definitly hitting barnes & nobel tommorow

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Posted by ellebelle1

I have a question for the married brides or brides to be... how do you think your wedding was (or will be) different from non-jewish weddings, besides the obvious stuff. Were there certain things you felt were different than the weddings you see on this site.

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It was definitely different in a lot of ways that I am not sure I can describe.

We really tried to personalize our ceremony and I think that we succeeded. Almost all brides want to personalize their ceremonies. But there were parts of my ceremony that were special because they have been that way for so many generations. I guess that is the case in all religious ceremonies but I realized it more with my own wedding. Jewish brides often have a different way of striking the balance between personalizing and honoring tradition. I'm just not sure I can describe what makes it different.

The food at my wedding was different but we've gone over that before. As a brief example, the lower east side deli station is such an incredible offering for a cocktail hour!

Oh, biggest difference between my wedding and some of the others on this site: I might be the only LIW bride to get her caterer to put into the contract (in caps.): HALVAH A MUST.

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Posted by ssdbk

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Posted by ellebelle1

I have a question for the married brides or brides to be... how do you think your wedding was (or will be) different from non-jewish weddings, besides the obvious stuff. Were there certain things you felt were different than the weddings you see on this site.

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It was definitely different in a lot of ways that I am not sure I can describe.

We really tried to personalize our ceremony and I think that we succeeded. Almost all brides want to personalize their ceremonies. But there were parts of my ceremony that were special because they have been that way for so many generations. I guess that is the case in all religious ceremonies but I realized it more with my own wedding. Jewish brides often have a different way of striking the balance between personalizing and honoring tradition. I'm just not sure I can describe what makes it different.

The food at my wedding was different but we've gone over that before. As a brief example, the lower east side deli station is such an incredible offering for a cocktail hour!

Oh, biggest difference between my wedding and some of the others on this site: I might be the only LIW bride to get her caterer to put into the contract (in caps.): HALVAH A MUST.

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I think there are some differences that are just cultural,that you dont even think about until you go to a non-jewish wedding, like Ive never seen a garter toss at a Jewish wedding-not that all non-jewish weddings have them but from my experience they have never been even an option. Also, I like that in a jewish ceremony your parents and siblings stand with you-its such a warm feeling to be sorrounded by family at that moment

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Posted by Soon2BDoubleL

I'm also getting married at Oceanside Jewish Center. I've heard many awesome things about the place

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OJC is my synogogue (the one I go to, not where Im getting married), and my sister used to work for the caterer. According to her, the food is great and the kitchen is very clean!

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Posted by mbg1007
I think there are some differences that are just cultural,that you dont even think about until you go to a non-jewish wedding, like Ive never seen a garter toss at a Jewish wedding-not that all non-jewish weddings have them but from my experience they have never been even an option. Also, I like that in a jewish ceremony your parents and siblings stand with you-its such a warm feeling to be sorrounded by family at that moment

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Well, we're doing a few things that I think are different: we're going to have all of our friends and family sing the wedding niggun (melody) when we come in (it'll be nice to be serenaded by everyone), and I don't think of that as something that happens at most weddings. We're also going to full on simcha dancing, complete with making folks entertain us before we go up in the chairs. Figure we should get a good show.

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Posted by JAME0801

Help! Where did you get your yalmulkahs? I've seen some online but my rabbi told me I can go to a Jewish book store and get them?

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You can order them at Zion Lion in New Hyde PArk or you can order them online at jlowy.com - thats where I got mine. You can design them yourself and they come very fast.

I got married 11/12/06 at Woodbury Jewish Center and everything was amazing!!! Everyone loved the food!
We used Hank Lane-Jeff Lubin Band
Spitz and Peck for flowers
Glenmar for photos and video

Lots of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Soon2BDoubleL

I also like that BOTH parents are able to walk the bride down the aisle.

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And I like the fact that the groom is escorted by his parents. I love that Jewish brides and grooms are given to each other by their families. (I hope that made sense!)