No children allowed.

Mrs. DMD Posted: Jan 25, 2005 11:11 PM

No children allowed.

How do you tell people that you don't want their kids (pre-teens) at your wedding, no matter how close they are to you?

jpavig Posted: Jan 25, 2005 11:13 PM

Re: No children allowed.

Just say that there are no children invited to the wedding or that no one under a certain age is invited. Obviously say it a little nicer than I did, but you get the idea.

alexlynn7 Posted: Jan 25, 2005 11:15 PM

Re: No children allowed.

you can tell them that you haven't got the space in your hall to invite everyone's kids. or that you haven't got the funds...

Mrs. DMD Posted: Jan 25, 2005 11:21 PM

Re: No children allowed.

Both sound great. How would you put it nicely though?

I have a feeling that no matter how I put it, somebody is going to have something stupid to say. I just want something elegant. There will be 30 children alone from first cousins' side, so that dance floor will turn into a playground with parents letting them take over.

Judy&Jesh Posted: Jan 25, 2005 11:28 PM

Re: No children allowed.

We are putting on ours 'adult reception'

Goldi1021 Posted: Jan 26, 2005 12:15 AM

Re: No children allowed.

If a child's name (or 'and family') is not on the received invitation, then the child is not invited plain and simple. A wedding is YOUR special day and who you choose to invite is noone's business but your own. You do not owe anyone, any excuses. I have seen family brawls as a result of someone's guest list being in question.

I plan on having about 6 very young children in my bridal party. Though Ive yet to set a date and time, I plan on suggesting to their parents to ask a friend to pick them up after the cocktail hour, pictures and inroductions so the parents can enjoy the party without chasing their children all over the place. I did that once when my neice had been a flower girl for a wedding. I got some great snacks and then took her home!!!

halfpintny Posted: Jan 26, 2005 12:43 AM

Re: No children allowed.

Before FH and I were engaged, he made it a point to say he did not want kids at the wedding. It seemed a little unfair to me since I was always invited to all my cousin's weddings but I have since conceeded to FH. Basically we are just going to address envelopes to the adults. If people call us and ask why, THEY'RE the rude ones and at which point I'll tell them that we would have loved to invite children to the wedding but we had to cut the guest list and rather than cut out adult family members we opted to include all the adults we wanted in exchange for leaving out children under 18

micmar Posted: Jan 26, 2005 07:56 AM

Re: No children allowed.

I don't want kids either, it's always tricky. But if the invite does not include them, then they are not invited!!

David'sbride Posted: Jan 26, 2005 09:04 AM

Re: No children allowed.

JIMHO, due to expenses and the nature of a wedding I am not inviting children. Even if it was more affordable there are so many children of my first cousins that there would be approximately 51 kids under the age of 12 alone from the 51 adults I'm inviting. I have one cousin that has 8 As soon as we got engaged and started telling people we worked it into the conversation.

Be firm. Once you cave either way, you have to be consistent. If you make exceptions people get really upset and it can cause family problems for the future so just be careful.

I think people who haven't planned a wedding in the last few years in this area or from other areas have even the slightest clue how much it costs, even if you are really trying to hold to a budget.

diamondgrlie Posted: Jan 26, 2005 09:26 AM

Re: No children allowed.

Posted by Judy&Jesh

We are putting on ours 'adult reception'

Thats what we did too plus word of mouth works wonders as well.

o17range Posted: Jan 26, 2005 09:33 AM

Re: No children allowed.

I will simply be addressing the invitations to the adults only. If the parents respond with more than the alloted # I will call them. I wouldn't use the 'money' as a reason why children aren't invited--people can offer to pay for their children (one of my cousins is NOTORIOUS for doing that) but the space issue is a real one--they can't argue with that. Good Luck!

dbcrosby Posted: Jan 26, 2005 10:55 AM

Re: No children allowed.

we put on the invitation adult recpetion to follow and if they still dont get it i will kindly restate the fact.

mcaula Posted: Jan 26, 2005 10:59 AM

Re: No children allowed.

We are putting on the invites ADULT RECEPTION and hopefully everyone will get the hint.

Although I went to my friends wedding and she had adult reception on the invite and there were still like at least 10 kids running around being bad getting into things I guess her guests didn't listen.

Bunnymonkey Posted: Jan 26, 2005 11:01 AM

Re: No children allowed.

in addition to just adressing the envelopes to the adults, spread the word through family that NO ids are allowed from either side - no exceptions. People talk, they will get it.

If they make rude comments just add them to the list of all the other rude comments you will get while planning and blow it off.

BlondeJD Posted: Jan 26, 2005 11:03 AM

Re: No children allowed.

We're addressing the envelopes only to the adults. I would also go with the # theory of calling them if they have more than the # I invited, but I'm paranoid and would worry that, for example, one parent couldn't make it so that the reply for 2 would actually be the other parent and the kid. On the RSVP, I'm asking them to provide the names of those attending.

As for how to phrase the 'no kid' policy, on our website, we put something like 'Unfortunately, due to space limitations, we will not be able to accomodate any children at the wedding. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience this may cause.' This way we told people way in advance before they started booking plane tickets and what not. Good luck!

fall2005bride Posted: Jan 26, 2005 11:41 AM

Re: No children allowed.

WE put 'adult reception to follow' on our invitations, and we STILL had numerous people from FH side that added people to their response cards.

I hate to say it, but some people just don't have wedding ettiquette..

jesslangen Posted: Jan 26, 2005 01:34 PM

Re: No children allowed.

We are inviting the kids. It was a battle between FH and I (FH being on the side of inviting them). I lost Figured there would be many arguements and this one wasn't worth it.

I would just include on your invitation 'adult reception'. Can't get more specific and considerate than that.

ckgmwedding Posted: Jan 26, 2005 02:04 PM

Re: No children allowed.

We are having four kids at our wedding but I am still saying no to anyone else who asks if their child can come. Two are my future niece(5) and nephew(3) who are in the bridal party and coming from out of town. I wouldn't ask FH to arrange a sitter but I may have one at the site.
The other two are 6 and 10. I am a little worried about the 6yr old since she thinks we are buddies and will want to hang out the whole reception. I am hoping she will bond with my niece. I will also have to talk to her mom to explain to her that I will be very busy and can't 'hang-out' like we usually do. The 10 year old will be fine but probably a little bored. I am sure he will be in the corner all night with his game boy!

jimmysgrl Posted: Jan 26, 2005 02:09 PM

Re: No children allowed.

I hate to tell you but some people will always be the ones to make comments about it and although it doesn't make any sense, its just something you can expect from one or two people. (Of course, if you asked them how many kids were at their wedding.....) Although its a difficult thing to say, I completely 100 percent agree with you in regards to the 'change' in the feel of the reception when kids are invited and it really does depend on how you and your FH want to have it. It is YOUR wedding, YOU are paying for it. But honestly, in my life, I've only been to one wedding where there were kids so most adults may expect it.