Hi all! I ran into a friend of mine the other day and told her that I will be inviting her and her husband to my wedding this June. Problem is she has three kids and does not control them. They basically do whatever they want. When I moved into my first apartment and had brand new furniture, she came over with all three kids and had them eating McDonalds on my freshly cleaned carpets. Then her one kid who had a cold wiped snot on my pillows, which are spot clean only. I was soooo mad!!!!!!!!! I would never do that if I had kids!
Anyway, I would love for her to come to my wedding, but how do I let people know that I do not want kids there without hurt feelings. My reasons for this are 1.) We cannot afford to pay $50 a head for kids and 2.) I do not want screaming children ruining our vows. I was just at my cousin's wedding and as they were saying their vows, her 11/2 year old nephew (not a member of the wedding party) was pitching a fit and you could not even hear the bride and groom!!
I told my friend that I hope she is not offended, but we are not having children at the ceremony or reception. My excuse was the money and that we do not have it in our budget for people's children. She promptly replied that she will pay us for them and bring them along. NO WAY! I do not need her kids stepping on my veil and wiping snot on my dress!!!!!!!!! I also do not need them running around the room, knocking stuff over, and screaming at the top of their lungs.
Please help!!!!!
By the way, my other friends have kids that are extremely well behaved, so trust me when I say I do not hate kids and think some of them would be all right. Unfortunately, we really cannot afford to have any of them there, except for those in the bridal party.
BNBride60
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
I think you include on your invitation 'Adult Reception.' I think that she won't bring her kids to your ceremony if they can't come to the reception either. I'm always surprised when a married couple WANTS to bring their kids to a wedding of someone who isn't their family member. You'd think they would want a night out!!! I know my FH's boss has 4 kids, and I actually said to FH that I wouldn't mind inviting them as a family, and he said his boss would PREFER to leave them at home so they can have a grown up date night.
Anyway, I'd put 'Adult Reception' on the invite, and if she RSVP's with her kids included, you should call her and say that 1) you can't afford it, 2) you don't want her to pay for it because that is just AWKWARD and 3) you want to have an adult party - nothing personal to her kids, but no one's kids are invited! Either that, or before you send the invite, you call her up and say the invite is coming and it is only for you and your husband for the above reasons!
beachprincess
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Yeah, I am definitely going to put Adult Only Reception or Adults Only Please on the invites, but I have a feeling that will not stop her. I may have to call her if she RSVPs for the kids.
AHHHH!! Why are some people soo rude?
MikeandJess
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
it's weird that she would offer to pay for them to be there, first of all that puts you in an awkward situation and second of all, it'd be so much cheaper for her to hire a babysitter, you would think she'd want a night out alone with her husband? Anyway, I've seen girls right on the reception cards that the ceremony will be followed by an adult only reception, maybe you can try that and hopefully people will get the point that there are no kids allowed.
BNBride60
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Posted by beachprincess
Yeah, I am definitely going to put Adult Only Reception or Adults Only Please on the invites, but I have a feeling that will not stop her. I may have to call her if she RSVPs for the kids.
AHHHH!! Why are some people soo rude?
You (and anyone else) is totally entitled to have an 'adults only' party! I don't know how anyone could think otherwise.
beachprincess
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
I told her that the hotel we reserved for guests does offer a babysitting service for a fee just as an FYI, but I do not think she got the hint.
dangell427
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
are you not allowing any kids at your wedding or is it just these few kids that you don`t want?
if it`s no kids and she is willing to pay all you have to say is well that is nice that you would do t hat but i am not having anyone under the age of___ so that should solve that problem.
if it is the other case where you just don`t want the misbehaved ones there then i really don`t know what you should say. unless she is a really good friend and you feel like you can just say listeb you have crazy kids i don`t want them there lol
beachprincess
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
We are only allowing kids in the bridal party. They are all well behaved though. We have a flower girl and ring bearer who will both be 6-7 yrs. old and a junior bridesmaid and junior groomsman who will be 11 years old. We also have a 9 or 10 year old handing out bubbles. My friend's kids are just out of control and if we invite some, we have to invite all. I consider the bridal party to be separate and people should understand having kids in the bridal party, but not as guests.
davenjess
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Posted by beachprincess
We are only allowing kids in the bridal party. They are all well behaved though. We have a flower girl and ring bearer who will both be 6-7 yrs. old and a junior bridesmaid and junior groomsman who will be 11 years old. We also have a 9 or 10 year old handing out bubbles. My friend's kids are just out of control and if we invite some, we have to invite all. I consider the bridal party to be separate and people should understand having kids in the bridal party, but not as guests.
Agreed. You are only having children in the BP & if you are inviting NO other children - than that's what you can say. If she has an issue - tell her - the only children that will be there will be the ones in our BP and we aren't allowing other children. There will be no children for your kids to play with and it'll just be easier for us to not allow any at all.
bemyyoko
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
I feel the same way! I love kids... but I do not want them at my wedding. My nieces and nephews as well as FH's niece and his 'step niece and nephew' will be there. That's fine. They are part of our daily life and all but two (the step niece and nephew live in Germany) are part of our bridal party.
We will be putting 'Adult Reception to follow...' or something along those lines on our invites.
dangell427
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Posted by beachprincess
We are only allowing kids in the bridal party. They are all well behaved though. We have a flower girl and ring bearer who will both be 6-7 yrs. old and a junior bridesmaid and junior groomsman who will be 11 years old. We also have a 9 or 10 year old handing out bubbles. My friend's kids are just out of control and if we invite some, we have to invite all. I consider the bridal party to be separate and people should understand having kids in the bridal party, but not as guests.
then i think i would just tell her that. i am doing the same thing with the exception of one of fh`s cousins. she`s 9 the rest will be 13 and up. except for kids in the BP when i do my invites i think i am going to put something on the response card stating __(how many ever there are for that fam)_ seats have been reserved for you and then a line for them to say how many are coming. i just haven`t figured out how to word it.
AS
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
I am having kids at my weddings. Kids are the life of the party and they are human beings. My parents took me and my 2 sisters to every event when we were younger. If I dont have my little cousins or nephew at my wedding , then what the point. They are a big part of me and my big day.
SAMORY
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Yes!! you have to let them know. At the bottom of my invitations I am going to put Sorry but no kids...
ant n tilde
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Posted by MPAS
I am having kids at my weddings. Kids are the life of the party and they are human beings. My parents took me and my 2 sisters to every event when we were younger. If I dont have my little cousins or nephew at my wedding , then what the point. They are a big part of me and my big day.
i feel the same way!!
but honestly, if people are invited to an 'Adults Only' reception then they should understand. period!
As for me, I can't wait for all our little cousins and nieces and nephews to meet!! They are going to have a great time!
hyphenbride
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Sorry you have to deal with that! If she offers again to pay for her kids, just say, 'Sorry...that's simply not acceptable.' It may mean she doesn't come, but...what can you do? I'm sure you don't want your wedding marred by out of control children (that said, I think that well behaved children are great...but out of control kids get under my skin like nothing else!).
I'm very glad that the only children invited to my wedding will be a very well behaved 7 year old and a well behaved 3 year old (who likely won't attend). Luckily, most of our friends don't have kids yet!
beachbum05
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Im with ya, date twin.
no kiddies for us either. Our RH isn't really conducive to them coming though....with the water steps from the back deck, etc. I'd be nervous having kids running around outside.
empressdani
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
I'm totally on your side w/ the no kids stipulation. The only children we are having is the flower girl aka FH's daughter and the ringbearer. If she was not his child and we didn't want a ringbearer we'd have no children there. I don't see why people are so quick to bring children somewhere with adults, loud music and alcohol. Don't they wanna have grown up fun?
SugaBeans
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
i think that if the invitation is just made out to mr. and mrs. ..... they would understand it doesnt mean the kids are invited. right? it doesnt say and family or and children.
Jamnike
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
id just put it on the invites n if ur friend insists on paying for them just tell her that it is something that you and your FH feel strongly about and that you would love her to come but leave the kids home ;) The only kids at ours are going to be the flowergirl and ringbearer
beachprincess
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Re: No Kids at My Wedding!
Posted by SugaBeans
i think that if the invitation is just made out to mr. and mrs. ..... they would understand it doesnt mean the kids are invited. right? it doesnt say and family or and children.
You would think so, but some people are dense and/or just plain rude.
