No Words of Advice?

No Words of Advice?

I have been having a hard time getting into the 'Wedding Planning' - This site had def. helped - but I cannot seem to shake the thought that the way that Weddings are now - they are SOOOooooo far from what they are actually supposed to mean - You and Your Soulmate, taking vows to Love Each Other Forever. Everytime I am looking into planning something else, I am getting Sooo Frustrated with thisss!!!!! I Unfortunately, am NOT Having Fun! Isn't this supposed to be Fun???

Re: No Words of Advice?

BUMP

Re: Weddings - Far From the REAL idea!

Its supposed to be fun. I know most of us put the pressure of perfection upon ourselves. My Dad has mentioned several times (although he is supportive always) that he doesn't understand 'why I need this' or 'why you need that'. He always teases and says he'd rather just give us $$ and all go the the islands and get married and party. There are days when I want to take him up on that offer!

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I'm sorry you are not having fun. I am having a TON of fun. I think a lot about how all of this is going to result in me and my FH spending the rest of our lives together, realizing dreams and just having a ball. If I ever get upset, or frustrated, or annoyed at things, I think about that, and what our wedding day is going to be: the day we commit to each other for the rest of our lives. I also see it as a stepping stone, sort of, for everything we want to achieve in life together (moving to NH, buying a home, having children, opening a business together, etc) and get soooo excited when I think of it that way. Hope it changes for you soon!!!

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I felt the same way. FH and I got engaged last March and I JUST started planning 3 weeks ago. I made the date for this summer- July- so wedding planning wouldn't take over my life (for too long anyway). It took me a really long time to get into it too- so don't feel bad. I know what you mean by saying the meaning of a wedding is taken away from by the extravagence, but it's all about having fun at the same time. Just try to stay away from anything that isnt a necessity- bathroom baskets, programs, cry packs..all of that stuff is just extra cost that doesnt really matter. Dont get me wrong- its great stuff- but simplify especially at first to get your heart and mind into it more! Good Luck!

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One more thing to remember --

You said that you can't help but think about how weddings today are not what they used to be about - taking the vow. I feel that a wedding is about whatever you make it about. If you want it to be about the love you share and the way in which you are joining your lives forever, make it about that. Don't focus on anything else. I mean, yes, you need to think about fllowers, music, food, etc at some point - but don't make that the focal point of your day. Make your LOVE the focal point. Don't get caught up in having the best this, the biggest that, etc. It doesn't matter in the end. Your happiness and love do.

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yes its supposed to be fun. But i understand what you are saying. My FH is NOT having fun with it at all. He's so concerned about how much money is being put into the wedding and how it could be used as a down payment etc. It's true, but i still want (and deserve) that special day.

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Thanks Girls - I'm trying!!! Losing my mind in the meanwhile....but trying!!

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Sometimes I am having fun, but most times I'm not. I found in the beginning of the planning, especially when I first joined LIW, I was excited but felt so much pressure to have cry packs, and bathroom baskets, etc..b/c I think all of those personalized touches are so adorable, but I just felt so overwhelmed and hated the process. I finally just took a deep breath and said 'my wedding will be beautiful b/c of who I'm marrying and b/c my friends and family are so genuinely happy and if I can do those personalized things, great - and if I can't that's okay too' It took me a week or so to really believe I was okay with not having what most were, but I really am okay because in the end, I'll marry the perfect guy for me and not much else matters.

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One thing I have learned, is that weddings ARE NOT fairytales...

Most of the time they turn out to be, but no one ever really showed us the planning and stress.
One piece of advise that was given to me...YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!

When you are planning, buying, ordering, thinking about something, make sure it is what you want.

You will have to make certain concessions for some people, but others should not rule over your day. Also, if parents are paying, work with them. You are both working to a commom goal, but you may have different views. Compromise.

I know this sounds like I am contradicting myself...but keep the small picture in your head when you can. That won't make it look like a MONSTER!

If I can help in any way, please FM me.

~Li

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I think everyone can lose sight of what the wedding day really stands for sometimes. I was very much into keeping it simple and remembering what's important - but I will admit I have also caught myself getting to wrapped up with silly details. But, it's human nature to want that day to be special and perfect in every way. Does it really matter what color shoes your BM's are wearing under their long dress - probably not. But sometimes you feel like you put so much of your time, energy, money and yourself into planning this day that you want to make sure all your t's are crossed. Of course the meaning behind the day should be the most important focus, but I don't see anything wrong with brides wanting the favors to look nice or the food to taste good, etc. It's a personal choice.

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I know it is suppose to be fun, but i am not going to lie.... FH and I are not having fun!!! At least we are not for the time being.... it is just such a stressful time.... between planning a wedding and trying to find a house... i forgot what the word FUN means!!

Re: No Words of Advice?

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Posted by SparkyandAng

Sometimes I am having fun, but most times I'm not. I found in the beginning of the planning, especially when I first joined LIW, I was excited but felt so much pressure to have cry packs, and bathroom baskets, etc..b/c I think all of those personalized touches are so adorable, but I just felt so overwhelmed and hated the process. I finally just took a deep breath and said 'my wedding will be beautiful b/c of who I'm marrying and b/c my friends and family are so genuinely happy and if I can do those personalized things, great - and if I can't that's okay too' It took me a week or so to really believe I was okay with not having what most were, but I really am okay because in the end, I'll marry the perfect guy for me and not much else matters.

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thats a nice way to put it

Re: No Words of Advice?

Re: No Words of Advice?

im having a lot of fun - but i get a little down when i think about how far away the wedding is...i have 297 days left -and ive been engaged about 6 months or so - i just feel like the day is never going to come - not because of the actual time because i know it could be alot further off but its more because i still don't feel like this is really happening. i bought a wedding gown but i still can't imagine what it will be like when i get dressed the morning of my wedding - i try to picture it in my head - you know the morning of the wedding - i wonder what it feel like and i try so hard to imagine it when i day dream about it but the people who will be doing my hair, my make up, they are all still faceless to me because i havent booked them yet....i even try to picture my mom and dad all dressed and i just cant get a clear image of what i think they'll look like.... i cant believe that angelica glass will be in my hotel room with me, taking my wedding pictures and that ray from timeless treasures will be videoing me - thats like a total mind trip for me - its like i booked these people yet i still cant believe that not only will i see them on my wedding day but they'll actually be part of it.....i cant imagine what i might look like - or what FH will look like....or how it will feel....i cant imagine sleeping alone the night before my wedding in the hotel room - it just feels like im trying to imagine all these things that arent really going to happen to me - even though they will happen in 297 days - i dont know how else to explain it - but anyway, thinking of it like that makes me want the wedding to just hurry up and get here already - its like enough with the planning and trying to picture it in my head i just want it to happen and be real already i know its now what you were saying - but i figured id answer you anyway!

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Not fun at all. Where is the joy in spending a ton of dough on a big party? I'd rather buy a boat.

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i completely agree with you. when i was first engaged i couldnt wait to plan. then i started planning while fh was home on leave. then we got alot of stuff done. then he left for japan and the planning felt like it just stopped. i liked having fh's help...plus i am so indecisive its not even funny so i needed fh's help with decisions. i didnt even want to go dress shopping. i finally did but now i am at a halt again. i just want my bridesmaids to pick out whatever they want because i dont want to go through the stress of it all and i just want the wedding to sort of be over already. i wanted a destination wedding but fh wanted a home wedding so i said ok. but now that all the planning is on me while i go to school full time and work full time it stinks. fh is training and then going to iraq so i really cant even consult with him on things. and the money issue bugs me. I just want to be able to marry the man i love and focus on that which i can but it makes it harder when you have to plan the day that you will marry him.

but it's okay i think alot of people feel this way sometimes. i think the week before my wedding i will be the happiest because FH will be home for good and we will be finally living together and getting married!!!!

Re: No Words of Advice?