Not feeling much like a wedding.....

Not feeling much like a wedding.....

I know it's been a while since I've posted. It's been a rough couple of months. I lost my mom last month, and I still actually don't believe it. We were supposed to start looking for dresses and really getting down on the planning this month, and I have absolutely no desire to do any more with the wedding. To make matters worse there is more family drama, and I am just ready to cancel everything and elope. FH won't let us do that because he knows we would regret it. We are thinking of revamping everything, and just trying to do a simple ceremony on the beach or in a park or something, but it seems that to put a tent up costs more in permits and caterers than the halls. Have any of you done a simple outdoor wedding that didn't cost a lot? We really want to just save money and buy a house next year, but we still want to do something for our wedding. We just want to make it intimate and simple. Can anybody help us with ideas? We are willing to move the date up too if we had to. Thanks for listening....

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So sorry to hear about all you are going through. It must be a very difficult time, but you should be proud of yourself for being so proactive and trying to think of alternatives for your wedding.

This might be a crazy idea, but perhaps you'd want to do a destination wedding with very close friends and family. You could get married on a beach, and it would feel very special and memorable b/c it's something different, but you don't have to have a huge wedding-ish bash. Also, depending on when and where you do it, it might cut costs down. My good friend was in a similiar situation to you a few years ago, and she had a very small destination wedding. Suprisingly, it was very affordable and turned out to be just the right thing.

Hang in there. Whatever you do I'm sure it will be great

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Yes, changing it to an outdoor tented wedding does sometimes cost more. What about reworking your guest list and looking into a smaller venue. I know other Lessings have rooms that can accomodate 75, 125 people. You also don't need to do alot of the extras that are in a wedding. Good Luck planning.

So sorry to hear about your mom

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I am so sorry about your mom

I can't imagine what you are going through.

I was originally planning a backyard wedding in Oakdale but the plans fell through and we're now using a catering hall. I saw you were originally getting married at the West Sayville Country Club. If you are planning an outdoor wedding in the same area, I have some research saved on tents, caterers, etc from the area that I'd be happy to FM you. Let me know if you want the info.

Best of luck to you.

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Just wanted to tell you sorry about your mom.
I know how it feels, my mom died 3 years ago.
Some to help you a bit.

It is hard to focus on the wedding now, but have you thought about pushing it back, so that you are not hurting so much trying to plan it for this year ?
Or, as one poster responded, what about a destination wedding ?

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i am so sorry to hear about your mom

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I am so sorry about your mom....

I think you have to do what you really want to do.
Sometimes changing everything can cost more.
I'm sure your mom would want you to go on with the plans as they were.......if you can!

Again, I'm deeply sorry for your loss

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Can any of you who have had destination weddings FM me with info on costs?

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I am so sorry to hear about your mom! I can't even imagine what you must be going through.. and top it all off planning a wedding..

My friend is getting married in Mexico this year.. and she just randomly picked a resort and they are planning everything for her.. she told me it was very afforable.. i didnt ask her what the cost was.. but you and your FH could plan out something like that..

Everything will work out.. no matter what you decide and I hope you find peace in your heart..

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I wanted to tell you I am so sorry to hear about your mother.

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Thank you all so much for your sympathy....

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I am so so so sorry to hear about your mom. If i were in the same situation I would feel the same way as you. I think a destination wedding would be a great idea! You can go with those close to you and have a wonderful time. Not doing the 'traditional' wedding might be better for you. I don't know your mother, but I know most moms would want their daughter to get their dream wedding no matter what. Doing it the destination way might be a great compromise!

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sorry to hear about your Mom

i dont know where you live and where your family would be traveling from but there is a gorgeous place to have an outdoor ceremony and reception in staten island..... FH and I always would always go to this spot to hang out - its 'our spot' and sometimes on the weekends we would see these gorgeous weddings there - and we would always joke about how one day we might have our wedding there too......after we got engaged we decided that instead of having our wedding there we would have our engagement party there - it was really beautiful and because the place is sentimental to us it was even more special....

The place is called the Alice Austen House. Its an old house that was turned into a museum and its really cool inside. Parties are held on the grounds overlooking the Manhattan skyline and the Verrazzano Bridge. Its right on the water - and the grounds are elevated a little so when you are sitting eating dinner all you see is the water....its GORGEOUS...

We had a tent company put up a tent and put down a dancefloor for us - we got the cheapest tent because it was only our engagement party but i've seen beautiful tents set up there for weddings. We also had a DJ, a buffet for dinner and 2 waiters. We had beer wine and soda and we did our own centerpieces, favors and place cards. We had about 90 people there and it was really nice. At night its gorgeous - all the city buildings are lit up and so is the bridge....and of course the sunset is really nice too. If you are looking for a beach theme but don't want to be on the sand or close to the ocean this is a really nice place.

Pictures in my album. FM if you have any questions.

Good luck! There are so many gorgeous places in and around NYC that I am sure you will have lots to choose from!

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I can't help with location but just wanted to say sorry for your loss.

My dad died in July and I just got engaged last weekend. It's bittersweet for me because I've waited so long to be engaged, but I wish he was here to see it and share it with me. I also dread walking down the aisle without him. After my dad died I thought I was going to have my uncle to walk me down and he died suddenly in September just 2 months after my dad. It was all and still is such a shock.

I know I am hoping by then the pain will ease. I hope for you too.

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So sorry to hear about your Mom! There is someome who has been trying to get rid of her date & it may be something you want to check out???? HTH!

Wedding Date Available - Beach Theme

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Jen, sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom!!: You're in my thoughts and prayers!!!! Mary MOB