My mom has a friend, who everyone just adores, but she is married to a real jerk. EVERYONE agrees that we don't want him at the wedding, because this is the type of person who would stand up in the middle of the ceremony and shout 'I object' just for his own kicks (and sadly enough, given his behavior at a gathering I had for family and friends a few weeks ago, I actually don't doubt it). My parents also don't want him there, FH doesn't want him there, and I certainly don't want him there.
How can we manage to invite my mom's friend and her daughter but not the husband? If you were my mom, how would you broach the subject with her friend?
UPDATE - In response to some of your posts - not inviting her is NOT an option. She is my mom's best friend and literally like my aunt. She is the one going with me to fittings when the time comes, because my mom lives far away, and was even with me when I bought my dress!
Sharron70
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Re: Not inviting someone's husband???? UPDATE
Posted by EsquireBride
UPDATE - In response to some of your posts - not inviting her is NOT an option. She is my mom's best friend and literally like my aunt. She is the one going with me to fittings when the time comes, because my mom lives far away, and was even with me when I bought my dress!
Then I'm afraid dear that you're stuck with him. You're going to have to assign someone that is close to you but not heavily involved with the actual ceremony, etc. to be a wrangler.
I have a similar situation (if he even makes it) - my uncle is coming from the UK and he has a wicked sense of humor - when you or I hang up the phone after a pleasent convo with a friend we say 'O.K. talk to ya later, buy'. When he hangs up with a friend he says 'Right, f*&$k off then!'. And he's also good for making innapropriate comments for a reaction. But my dad and mum are gonna pull him aside and tell him he can't be pulling that stuff here.
I can't remember if your dad is still in the picture (sorry! don't mean to be disrespectful) but could you have an uncle or somebody pull him aside when he gets there and gently (not accusingly) tell him everyone loves his jokes, just not today?
poopikins
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Re: Not inviting someone's husband???? UPDATE
Can you invite them to the reception only? Have them skip the service?
Kimbalina
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Re: Not inviting someone's husband???? UPDATE
I think you have about a year for your MOM to gentely tell her friend that you are AFRAID of her firends hubby's antics RUINING your day....
lyss0908
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Re: Not inviting someone's husband???? UPDATE
I would have your mom, or even if you feel close enough to her to gently let her know how you are a bit worried that her husband will pull one of his 'antics' and that your wedding is no place for jokes. Maybe she will get the hint and let you know that she will talk to him and assure you that he will be on his best behavior. worse comes to worse if you feel he is acting out, you can have a neutral party ask him to leave. I find it hard to believe he would want to intentionally ruin your day. (or at least I would hope not- am I too naive?) Good luck!!!!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Not inviting someone's husband???? UPDATE
i didnt read through all this so maybe this was asked but does the woman know that everyone cant stand her husband? if so, she should understand your reasoning and help u figure out how to do this whole inviting thing LOL
awgg822
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Re: Not inviting someone's husband???? UPDATE
That's tough... maybe you or your mom could talk to her and express your true concerns.
I'm having a similar issue with a friend and her boyfriend of 3 years. Over the years, he always gets too drunk and tries to fight our guy friends for whatever reason. She's one of my longtime friends and will definitely be invited. But my FH put his foot down and said NO WAY to her boyfriend. Not sure yet when/how I'll do it, but I need to talk with her directly and explain that he's had too many altercations and we cannot have a fight at our wedding. (COULD YOU IMAGINE?!) I hope she understands.
I personally think you and/or your mom should explain the situation. This is your wedding day. Best of luck.
