not opening gifts at the shower

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:16 AM

not opening gifts at the shower

I'm a long ways away from my shower, but I have always wanted to NOT open presents at my shower. I understand that some people really enjoy that, but I'd rather enjoy the party and the people there, rather than spend an hour or two opening presents.

Also, I hate to say it, but that always bores me to tears at other people's showers, too! (And I can get into this stuff!) I'd rather have a nice brunch / luncheon and open the presents at home later.

My mother went to one shower where the bride did not open the presents and she said no one was offended. In fact, most people were happy about it!

After the bridal party is set and everything, I was going to make it clear to the MOH and my mother that I really do not want to open presents at my shower when the time comes.

Did anyone else do this? How did it go over?

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:17 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

i completely understand this and i would love to do it too

definitely it depends on your family

i have a VERY traditional italian family - if i didnt open the presents people would be VERY offended - as in 'not coming to the wedding offended' plus my mother is throwing my shower and she would never stand for it ( she is one of the women who would be offended by it!)

but if you have a cooler family - then go for it!!!!

GabrielleandJohn Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:19 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I think if you have it at a house you are kinda stuck, unless your family is cool. It is totally acceptable if you have it at a resturant to not open presents because of time constraints.

libby2595 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:20 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

i had a very small shower... few gifts. so i did open mine. not that i wanted to, mind you.

i think that you know your 'crowd' best. talk to your mother an moh. get their feedback.

best of luck

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:22 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

Thanks, all!

I know my family would be okay with it... and the one 'nosey' cousin (I love her ) would want to come back to see us open the presents afterwards. I cannot see anyone in my family who would be offended if I didn't open the presents. I know my mom would be all for me not opening them at the shower!

I'll discuss it with them and with some family members to see wha they say... like I said, it's a long ways off... I'll also have my FH metion this to his mom, too, to get a reaction. I don't see it being a problem!

Jesses Girl Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:26 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

my fam would be mad if i didnt...its like they take pride in their gifts and want to see me open it..if it was up to me i wouldnt but i will bc my family loves it... and honestly...i dont kno what else I would do at the shower...haha

they are not usually LOADS of fun

NY031978 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:31 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

well at my shower id like to get there and mingle...then open some gifts....and take a few min break once the food comes out so i can eat (bc at my baby shower i didnt eat a thing and i was so bummed bc my mom worked so hard on the menu!!) Then once thats passed go back....this way ppl dont have to sit there for 2 hrs of oprning. I also think thats why ppl do the games to try and bring some spice too the moment! Yea i agree it can get boring but thats what showers are about! If your BP and family are fine with your idea I say go for it.....its your day so do with it as you want!!!!

CLMon7906 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

as long as you are SURE no one would be offended, go for it. personally, i like opening gifts where i get them so i can throw out the wrapping paper instead of it taking up my space at home!

soon2bcopswife Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:43 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I started hearing about 'Presentation tables' where people don't wrap the gifts, they just put a card on it to identify who brought it. I spent 2 hours opening gifts, and trust me, I don't think anyone was having fun by the 2nd hour. It's just a thought...

nov06 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:53 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I do think opening gifts can get long and boring but I couln't not open them. A lot of people put a lot of effort and thought into the gifts they get you and enjoy seeing you open their particular gift. When I open people''s gift I want them to see how exicted and appreciative I am of it. Saying it in a thank you card just wouldn't cut it.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Sep 12, 2006 10:56 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I have heard of showers where the invitation requested that the gifts be wrapped in clear wrap so that everyone can see what the bride got, but you don't have to spend the time opening gifts.
The gift opening thing is a drag - for you and for the guests, but I suppose it is a tradition, and the whole point of the shower is that you are 'showered' with gifts.

June12007bride Posted: Sep 12, 2006 11:04 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I've actually been to a shower where the bride requested that she did not want to open the gifts. People were not happy about it at all and were not shy. Comments were made about it and in the end she ended up opening the gifts anyway.

thelastresort Posted: Sep 12, 2006 11:09 AM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

Posted by June12007bride

I've actually been to a shower where the bride requested that she did not want to open the gifts. People were not happy about it at all and were not shy. Comments were made about it and in the end she ended up opening the gifts anyway.

I can totally see that happening. Personally, I think it's rude. The whole point of the shower is to 'shower' the bride-to-be with gifts. It's not like an engagement party, birthday party, etc. where the point is to enjoy yourself and have a great time, hence the boring rep of a shower...LOL.... People actually make an effort to get you a gift and I think most enjoy seeing you open it. That's just my opinion. I know I would NEVER hear the end of it from my mother and grandmother if I ever even suggested doing that!

Tiggeruth Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:14 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I could be crazy but i am really looking forward to opening presents at my shower. I have been to showers where other people start unwrapping presents for the bride and i have given my BMs strict rules that i am to open every gift myself or with FH

MnM52607 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:16 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

Here's an idea I heard that I am thinking of using. On the invitiation, guests were asked to wrap their gifts in clear wrapping paper. Then when they arrived, all the gifts were displayed around the room. And everyone got to walk around and look at them. This took a lot less time.

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:30 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

Thanks for all the replies, everyone!

I'll take them all into consideration.

I really like asking people to wrap the gifts in clear paper so they can be displayed. I might consider that, too.

It's a long way off, but it's just something that's been on my mind!

DandS Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:37 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

Posted by MnM52607

Here's an idea I heard that I am thinking of using. On the invitiation, guests were asked to wrap their gifts in clear wrapping paper. Then when they arrived, all the gifts were displayed around the room. And everyone got to walk around and look at them. This took a lot less time.

I was going to suggest this as well. I went to a shower in May where they did this and the bride walked around the table to see what she got (as well as the guests). It took maybe 15 minutes of the brides time, and the rest of the time she was hanging out with everyone.

I personally am looking forward to opening our presents, but everyone is different and the 'display shower' (that is what they called it) really worked out well for my friend. She does not like attention so she was SO happy they did this for her!

Soon2BeMrs2006 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 12:39 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I think you should do whatever makes you comfortable.

For me I can't wait to open gifts at my shower.

Shandel18 Posted: Sep 12, 2006 01:38 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

I completely understand where you are coming from and I had asked the same thing of my mother and bridesmaids.

Although, I had my shower this weekend and opening gifts was not all that bad! Some people, who didn't mind the idea of not seeing thier gifts unwrapped, wrapped theirs in the clear cellophane. They also through me a Jack and Jill shower so it was more of a party anyway. I told my friends to go hang out at their tables and not worry about sitting in front watching.

With my FH and myself both opening up gifts at the same time as well as some not having to be unwrapped we ripped through them all in 45 minutes! And, there were around 70 people there.

I had an awesome time at my shower. I have to say, I enjoyed every minute. And I was adamant about not wanting to open anything.

But, as with everything...you do what you are most comfortable doing!

GabrielleandJohn Posted: Sep 12, 2006 02:42 PM

Re: not opening gifts at the shower

My mom just got an invitation to a presentation/display shower and had no idea what it was. I had to tell her that it meant not to wrap her gift. She thought it was a great idea.

My suggestion is to make sure that you explain what it is if you are going to go that way.