Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

akaMrsT Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:21 PM

Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I got an invite today for a 10/16 wedding. from a 'cousin' of sorts. Long story but she is not actually related.

The invite was mailed yesterday from Brooklyn for a wedding in Brooklyn from a bride/groom who both live in Brooklyn. I just saw them in May and even gave them the name of my jeweler for the ring since they just got engaged a few months ago.

The RSVP date is 9/25 so I am obviously a C lister.

That is not really my issue though. My mom got her invite in mid AUGUST and the bride knows my mom will have to travel up to NY and will likely stay at my place with her guest.

Also, the invite says bride and groom yaddda yadda yadda ......

'Monetary gifts are encourgaed'

with the quotes on the invite!!!!!

So, bascially I feel like I am only being invited for $$$.

I have no idea where the reception will be held since there is merely [ETA: directions to the reception hall w/o the name of the hall, no address] and no reception card.

And get this - the RSVP has no stamp on it but my mom's did have a stamp.

So, I am considering not even going to this wedding. Am I overreacting?

And this bride knows me well enough to realize that I will shell out for a wedding gift. In fact, I just got confirmation from Tiffany's that the china set I ordered shipped for a wedding FI and I are attending at Rosecliff in Rhode Island on Saturday. They registered for 'honey money' as well as Tiffany's and other places so that is a way to request $ without writing it on the invite. I will report back on that one on Sunday evening.

Opinions are appreciated...........

julz33 Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:22 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I would send a card (with no money in it) and not go

NYC04 Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:24 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I think that is very tasteless and I personally would not go and not send a gift. I would send back my response with a good luck/best wishes note and that is it.

azoodie Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:26 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by NYC04

I think that is very tasteless and I personally would not go and not send a gift. I would send back my response with a good luck/best wishes note and that is it.

agreed!

mushsgrl Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:26 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

i agree, i would not go, save your money !

AtticaQT Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:27 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I would not go personally - that is just plain offensive

Another option is go - and give a card - and empty card -

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:28 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

i wouldnt send a gift or attend. you can use the excuse that you have other plans do to the the fact that you received the invitation so late. if you feel compelled to send a gift i would send something off her registry or something you pick since they asked for money i wouldnt give it lol

Ronkonkomonga Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:30 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I probably wouldn't go - I doesn't even sound like you will have fun anyway.

Did she think you weren't going to compare notes with your Mom -

I wouldn't be pissed about it though - its not even worth your time.

TracyInQueens Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:38 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by julz33

I would send a card (with no money in it) and not go

That's what I would do too. I can't believe that they wrote that about gifts. Ms. Manners would be appalled.

CaCRmr Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:47 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by julz33

I would send a card (with no money in it) and not go

That's what I would do, even sending the card is stretching it...

Butterflybride Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:49 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by julz33

I would send a card (with no money in it) and not go

I think that sounds like the best way to go about it

suven Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:49 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

oh boy...now I'm gonna get it...

we did that to my DH's coworkers...

(well, actually, I went out to the store, bought do-it-yourself invites, made them on my computer, and changed the RSVP date to a later date) I had already run out of my original invites.

But, we are SO GLAD that they attended! And, we really didn't do it for gifts, or to make up our minimum. In fact, we assumed that since we were inviting them so late, they wouldn't even bring gifts. We honestly just wanted to have them there and we just didn't think our room could hold everyone, so we had to do B and C lists.

May05Bride Posted: Sep 22, 2004 07:53 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

It sounds like you don't want to go.
If you don't, don't go and save your money for your wedding!

NPbride Posted: Sep 22, 2004 08:04 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by NYC04

I think that is very tasteless and I personally would not go and not send a gift. I would send back my response with a good luck/best wishes note and that is it.

I agree! But don't let it piss you off; try to just chalk it up to some people are just clueless.

maralynne Posted: Sep 22, 2004 08:22 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

wow! no wonder this girl made it to her 'C' list... i wouldn't go if i was on the 'A' list..o wonder how many people she has offended.. i can't beleive people would acctualy put the word MONETARY on a wedding invite! most people give a gift at a shower and money at a reception anyway.. but to outright ask is incredible.. i'm pissed for you...
-tami
ps.. i have no problem with ABC lists just the monetary part...

JenniferLee111204 Posted: Sep 22, 2004 08:26 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

i totally agree with Julz. Dont go and send a card with NO money in it.

i have to say that i probably can let the A,B, C list slide, but the 'monetary gifts' quote. F-that. how rude!

jenn

February05 Posted: Sep 22, 2004 08:39 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by JenniferLee111204

i totally agree with Julz. Dont go and send a card with NO money in it.

i have to say that i probably can let the A,B, C list slide, but the 'monetary gifts' quote. F-that. how rude!

jenn

i agree!

sarahthegreat Posted: Sep 22, 2004 08:41 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

you know what, people are going to talk either way. just don't go and when it comes up at some family function ( b/c you know it will), just play it off like its nothing. don't waste your energy getting upset about this. and just don't go. jmo

btrflygrl Posted: Sep 22, 2004 09:02 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

IF you go....give an actual gift, not money, just to PISS her off!! That's what I would do in that situation...I happen to be spiteful

akaMrsT Posted: Sep 22, 2004 09:55 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by janwinterbridejoy

i wouldnt send a gift or attend. you can use the excuse that you have other plans do to the the fact that you received the invitation so late. if you feel compelled to send a gift i would send something off her registry or something you pick since they asked for money i wouldnt give it lol

Mom says they did not register. Which would have meant $ anyway w/o writing it on the invite.