Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Original post by akaMrsT

Sep 22, 2004 07:21 PM

I got an invite today for a 10/16 wedding. from a 'cousin' of sorts. Long story but she is not actually related.

The invite was mailed yesterday from Brooklyn for a wedding in Brooklyn from a bride/groom who both live in Brooklyn. I just saw them in May and even gave them the name of my jeweler for the ring since they just got engaged a few months ago.

The RSVP date is 9/25 so I am obviously a C lister.

That is not really my issue though. My mom got her invite in mid AUGUST and the bride knows my mom will have to travel up to NY and will likely stay at my place with her guest.

Also, the invite says bride and groom yaddda yadda yadda ......

'Monetary gifts are encourgaed'

with the quotes on the invite!!!!!

So, bascially I feel like I am only being invited for $$$.

I have no idea where the reception will be held since there is merely [ETA: directions to the reception hall w/o the name of the hall, no address] and no reception card.

And get this - the RSVP has no stamp on it but my mom's did have a stamp.

So, I am considering not even going to this wedding. Am I overreacting?

And this bride knows me well enough to realize that I will shell out for a wedding gift. In fact, I just got confirmation from Tiffany's that the china set I ordered shipped for a wedding FI and I are attending at Rosecliff in Rhode Island on Saturday. They registered for 'honey money' as well as Tiffany's and other places so that is a way to request $ without writing it on the invite. I will report back on that one on Sunday evening.

Opinions are appreciated...........

akaMrsT Posted: Sep 23, 2004 02:30 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Now my mom is ready to back out. She sent in the RSVP for 2 people and now said she'll still come up to see me and just not go.

She said we can hang out and go shopping instead. I asked if she was going to cancel and she said no - which I reminded her that she cannot do even though they were tacky. So, now she is waivering and wants to go (sort of).

I will let FI be the tie breaker. If he wants to go to check out the hall (wherever it is since we have no address and no name - just directions) then we will go.

Thanks ladies

akaMrsT Posted: Sep 23, 2004 02:31 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

FYI - the poll results are

ETA: 87%

nicpizzo Posted: Sep 23, 2004 03:10 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I agree!!!

jill13bean Posted: Sep 23, 2004 04:08 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by julz33

I would send a card (with no money in it) and not go

same that is so rude of someone to put on the invite!!! Besides make yourself (meaning the bride and groom) and not put it because 99% of people give $$$ anyway

Laura1976 Posted: Sep 23, 2004 04:13 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by btrflygrl

IF you go....give an actual gift, not money, just to PISS her off!! That's what I would do in that situation...I happen to be spiteful

give a useless unreturnable gift!

Bebalina Posted: Sep 23, 2004 04:16 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

i wouldnt even RSVP back to someone like that...she wants to show low class..i'd do the same .

Bebalina Posted: Sep 23, 2004 04:16 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Posted by Bebalina

i wouldnt even RSVP back to someone like that...she wants to show low class..i'd do the same .

besideds wont u be on ur HM then? NM just saw what yr ur getting married ....

BlondeJD Posted: Sep 23, 2004 04:17 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I think it's bad enough that you were C-listed, but asking for $$ is SOOOO tacky. I understand people not knowing about etiquette, but common sense would tell you that's just rude. I say don't go and if it comes up at a family function, just say that 'unfortunately, I received the invitation with very short notice and just couldn't work it into my schedule.'

Summer05 Posted: Sep 23, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I would send a small gift (not money!)

akaMrsT Posted: Sep 24, 2004 03:37 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Okay, I bought a card today & a money holder - $2.44 total since the card store near my subway train is going out of business.

If FI & I don't go, I'll send the card with no money. If we do go, I'll put $$ in the money holder to at least cover our plates at the 'mystery hall'. The amount is a call we will make once we actually get to the reception.

BlondeJD Posted: Sep 24, 2004 03:42 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I think it would be really funny to send that money holder card with no money--it's so obvious since they usually have that slot for cash

JimmysBride Posted: Sep 24, 2004 04:25 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

Ugh. I would totally NOT go. And not even because of the C-list thing. The money thing. Ugh.

Boop2704 Posted: Sep 24, 2004 05:08 PM

Re: Not sure if I should be PISSED or just ignore it.........

I would go. I would go and eat, drink, dance, spend a nice night with your FH and mom and give them a nice card with a nice picture frame or something. I am spiteful too, if you request something like that from me, you are most certain not to get it!!