Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

Original post by MrsLoske

Nov 19, 2009 05:44 PM

Where do you go for the holidays? His family? Yours? Both? This is definitely a hard one... wondering what you girls do???

MrsLoske Posted: Nov 19, 2009 09:18 PM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

Posted by jmgoncal

Yeah I'm actually really dreading this since I have such a close-knit Italian family and I'm the first 'grandchild' to get married. I think we're holding off on splitting the holidays until we're actually married - so this year for both Thanksgiving and Christmas we're staying with our respective families and then whoever finishes first will join the other for dessert... which usually means he joins me since our holidays tend to never end!!

I am in the same boat. My grandmother still hosts holidays so you know I get the guilt from every direction! We decided last year to start the divide. Thanksgiving with his family, Easter with mine. His parents are divorced and we split both Christmas Eve (his Dad's then my Mom's) and Christmas Day (his Mom's then my Grandmother's) down the middle. I have to say the first year was the hardest and now that we have established what we are doing and everyone knows the routine, it's ok. Although, I imagine once we have children that might stir it up again.

20mrsc10 Posted: Nov 19, 2009 09:19 PM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

ugggg we have to work out a schedule every year-we usually go back and forth, back and forth

grkbarbie Posted: Nov 19, 2009 09:21 PM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

weve been hosting thanksgiving,xmas and easter for the past 4 yrs. both families come here.

this thanksgiving we r going on vacation.

dont knwo bout christmas. probably hosting again. its easier for us.

BriansWifey Posted: Nov 19, 2009 09:23 PM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

idk what we're going to do about most of the holidays, but for thanksgiving we r gonna have dinner with my fam and dessert with his.

FutureMrsK10110 Posted: Nov 20, 2009 12:20 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

I spend every Thanksgiving with FH's family as well as Christmas. My family doesn't really get together anymore during the holidays.

Kristan35 Posted: Nov 20, 2009 12:28 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

My FIL's are older and tend to not want to have any big to-do's for holidays plus his mother hates to cook and he LOVES to eat. He also has a very small family so we tend to go to my side of the family for holidays.

Thanksgiving we go to my aunt's.
Christmas eve we used to go to FIL's but now they come to our house cause I'll cook for them.
Christmas day we are back to my aunt's, same for Easter.

We just chill at our house for New Years eve and New Years day is our anniversary so we spend that with just the two of us.

Golden Posted: Nov 20, 2009 12:29 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

This year, we're doing Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas seperately. Next TG with his and Christmas with mine and switch back and forth every year.

Lsorrent Posted: Nov 20, 2009 08:21 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

We've been splitting holidays since we moved in together....so for 3 years. We've got it down to a science:

Easter: church with FH's parents, dinner with my dad, dessert with FH's family

Mother's Day: combined at my house

Father's Day: dinner with FH's family, dessert with my dad

Thanksgiving: dinner at FIL's

Christmas Eve: dinner and church with my mother
Christmas morning: brunch with FIL's
Christmas day: dinner with my dad and sisters
Christmas night: dessert with FIL's

New Year's: we usually throw a party at our place

We're always running all over the place, but it's the best way to work things for us.

JenBill61210 Posted: Nov 20, 2009 08:51 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

Posted by kimmaymb20

Posted by JenBill61210

oh boy FMIL was just complaining about this she claims FH spends too much time with my side of the family. i dont see how.

thanksgiving- we go to my aunts

christmas eve- we go to my grandmother's for dinner. then we go to his dad's family for dessert (his parents are divorced)

christmas- we go to his grandmother's on his mom's side of the family

easter- not a big celebration in our family so if his grandmother is having something then i guess go there.

does FH have a big family? Mine doesnt so I dont see the purpose even though I like my FIL's to be there if they dont do anything. I have the bigger family so we do more during the holidays. And on numerous times my mom has invited his parents for the holidays and everytime they say no.

Not really, i have a huge italian family lol.... thats nice that you put forth the effort to invite them though!

christine2010 Posted: Nov 20, 2009 09:00 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

since we have been living together for almost 4 years & since we have been dating for almost 10 years, nothing has changed for us.

Thanksgiving - we host for FHs family.

Christmas Eve - FH, FMIL & I go to my parents house.

Christmas Day, Morning - FH & I are by ourselves, then with my family.

Christmas Day, Afternoon - FH cooks for FMIL & his grandmother.

Christmas Day, Evening - we go to my uncles house.

New Years Eve - we go to a friends house.

New Years Day - we visit my family & then FMIL.

Super Bowl - (yes its a holiday to us) we host for our friends.

St. Patricks Day - we host for FMIL.

Palm Sunday - we are with my family.

Easter - FH cooks for FMIL & his grandmother & every other year his aunt, uncle & cousin.

we spend many holidays with FHs family because currently we live downstairs from my parents & we see them all the time. also since FHs dad passed away we don't leave FMIL by herself.

AngnShaun Posted: Nov 20, 2009 09:33 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

We've arent changing how we split holidays...

Easter - My fam
Thanksgiving - I always go to Vegas... from Shaun has come with me a few times... but after this year he will always come with me...
Christmas Eve - MY family
Christmas Day - His family

He doesn't really like to celebrate holidays so (except for christmas) im usually celebrating alone with my family...

trophywife Posted: Nov 20, 2009 09:44 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

This is our third year spending Thanksgiving together, and this year we're going with his family (they live upstate)

For Christmas, I'll be with my family and he'll be with his. We've done it like this for most of our relationship -- and then spend New Year's together. Next year when we're married, we'll definitely spend Christmas together. I don't even want to think about not being with my own family on Christmas

MikesBride2B Posted: Nov 20, 2009 10:05 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

We are interfaith so we always go to my house for Thanksgiving and his house for Christmas

My family has a gigundo thanksgiving and on Christmas we watch movies and eat chinese food so it makes sense

Tessie728 Posted: Nov 20, 2009 10:10 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

I am one of the LUCKY LUCKY people whos FMIL is understanding that we all have in-laws ( fh is one of 4) and cant make everyone happy. We do an early afternoon dinner (starting around 12) and she lets us part around 4... that is perfect timing for us to go to my side of the family...
If it wasnt for this we would totally be havin drama... holidays can be so stressful!!

StellaStar13 Posted: Nov 20, 2009 10:32 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

Holidays have generally been really easy for us b/c I have a very small family & my parents live out-of-state.

Thanksgiving: FILs but starting next year we will be hosting!!!

X-mas Eve: That is officially FMIL's holiday (bet you didnt know that ) and yes, she actually says that!!! but this year my parents are going to be in town so everyone is going to @ FIL's house, I'm VERY excited!!! Moving forward though I think we will always be @ FIL's.

Christmas: usually we are @ FIL's but this year since my parents are in town, I have no idea what we are doing. Starting next year FH & I will have it @ our house.

New Years: FH & I are always on our own for this one so we usually go to someones house. Hopefully next year we can host all of our friends.

St. Pats: the local Huntington or Babylon bars host the day & evening

Easter: Ummm...not sure. In the past we have always gone to FH's cousin's house....its kinda boring there (NO DRINKING ALLOWED!!!! , I kid you not!) So, Fh & I will probably split the holiday between our house & my SIL.

SuzanneK Posted: Nov 20, 2009 10:36 AM

Re: Now that you are engaged, how do you split holidays?

We have been splitting holidays since our first year together we go to my family on thanksgiving, we do christmas eve with his family and alternate every other year we go to mass with the other family. Christmas day is spent with my family and Easter is spent with his family.