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I just updated from last night...
Posted by tomsgirl07
Let us know where she is and we'll send the bridentologists after her.
Posted by Tracy&Brian
As some of you may remember, my FSIL is a BM and hated the color of the BM dresses, accused me of picking pink to spite her and tried to back out of the wedding because of it. This happened a few months back. She also has made a few snide remarks about the wedding to my face on different occassion (ex- she wants me to stop talking about the wedding because I am annoying her, weddings are a waste of money, etc...). Every single situation I have remained calm and never said one rude or nasty comment to her. I have tried to accomodate every request she has made and calmly ignored all rude comments while still holding a big smile on my face.
Now because I didnt want her to think I was being deceptive or trying to go behind her back, I sent out a general email to all of my bridesmaids last week. I explained all of the details of the wedding day and listed my hair and makeup costs. Now this email was long, but it was not rude. I clearly explained that the only thing I asked was they pick a silver shoe of their choice and that they get their hair done (by whomever they wanted). I dont mind if they have makeup done and they can wear whatever jewlery they would like. I even expressed that I wanted their individual styles and personalities to come through.
I mentioned in the middle of my letter that I was thinking of having the BM wear flowers in their hair and I would let them know once I decided.
So FH comes to me last night and tells me that he doesnt like the flowers in the hair idea. I NEVER told him that this was even an idea and immediately realized that his sister was starting more sh*t about this.
Long story short, she emailed him my whole letter last week and called me a PYSCHO CRAZY BRIDEZILLA and called me CHILDISH for asking the girls to possibly wear a flower in their hair. She also called me some other choice names that I havent heard yet since FH wont show me the letter. (even though he keeps telling me he will send it to me).
At this point I am DEFINATELY kicking FSIL out of the wedding party. My problem is her other two sisters will most likely drop out because of this and I am then down 3 BM with just over 2 months to the wedding!!!
FH wont let me talk to her because I have had it with her and I have nothing but nasty things to say to her. At this point I am ready to write her off completely and not go to any more family functions or anywhere that I have to interact with her. I am literally ready to have a major brawl (biting, pinching, hair pulling and punching included)
Any advice of how I proceed with this? Talking with her calmly doesnt seem like an option at this point.
Thanks for reading this.![]()
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***UPDATE***
First of all, thank you everyone for showing me so much support and offering up so much good advice. After I went home last night, FH showed me the email she wrote about me. It was not nice and I was very upset still (It literally started by her saying 'You're bride is a nightmare'...and just got worse from there). I explained to FH that I needed him to help me Bridge the Gap that is apparently forming between myself and his family. After a long tear filled discussion, he agreed to talk further with his sister about the whole situation and is going to see if there is a way to bring she and I together to work out some issues. The biggest point that I felt I needed (and accomplished) to get across to FH is that he needs to stand by my side against all odds, including issues with his family. I hope that this one works itself out. For right now, she is remaining in the BP, but is on Red Alert. Until this is talked through and I receive an apology, I am not going to feel comfortable around her or be able to interact with her in any way. Let's see what happens. I will let you guys know.
Thanks for everything! I love all of you!!!![]()
Posted by kase21
I would tell her she's out. If the BP is lopsided - that's a manageable problem. If she's with you all day and manages to wreck your day and keep you in tears - that's not salvageable.
good for you. i emailed your update to my FH. he needs to see that men put their fiances/wives above all others, including their sisters...even when both are being a bit crazy...(i have my moments..i admit it)
good to read the update, FH does need to stick to your side, if not for any other reason but the fact that if he lets them see a crack between you two they will only try to make it wider, if they see they can not and FH sticks by your side.. they will eventually give up and realize that if they only continue they are the one causing a rift, NOT you!... anyway, good luck! it is not easy for men to realize they need to put their future, in which the key player is you.. above petty arguing and selfishness from his family... you can not always be the one to give in to your FIL's... he needs to stand up for HIS family, and that is you and him first!
