NWR. being stalked :(

so yeah yesterday I wrote how our wedding was canceled. now my ex fiance is stalking me. does anyone know what I can do? he called me 30x yesterday I had to shut off my phone for 2 hours. the 2nd it was back on the phone calls started again then after I went to Savannah with friends, I came home and he said he wanted to see me (I said no). then showed up here at like 3 am! I wouldn't go outside though. he was abusive almost our whole relationship so I'm scared to be alone with him. so then I heard him trying to break in! he ended up kicking in my basement window. thankfully my grandma (who I had to wake up at 3 am) called him and said I called the cops so he ran off. does anyone know what I can do? does anyone know how much an alarm system would be? I live with my father but he sleeps like the dead lol he hears nothing. my father also works 95% of the time. I'm alone a lot here. can the cops do anything? technically I didn't see him but I know it was him.

I just want my life back. I'm so tired of being terrified every moment I come back home late at night. like he's gonna jump out and grab me. most girls who get killed by ex bfs it's after the relationship is over not during should I have a friend move in for awhile? I feel bad dragging people into this. to think only a few weeks ago he was my fiance. who I was about to marry.

You needed to call the police once he kicked the window in. You have to get a restraining order, his behavior is not normal and you have to protect yourself from him. Do NOT talk to him thinking it will get him to leave you alone. It will just get worse. Go to your precinct now and fill out the paperwork and then have your grandma tell him that he isnt allowed within a few feet of you and your house...It may not stop him but if he comes near you, they can arrest him. Good luck and carry some mace.

Im sorry youre going through so much drama. I hope everything works out.

First off - you need to feel confident in yourself and the fact that you were strong enough to walk away. You know we are all proud of you and support you in any way we can.

Secondly - call the police. Show them the kicked in window - alert them to the fact that he was abusive and ask what it will take to get a restraining order.

Thirdly - does he have any friends you can rely on to keep him in check? Are you okay with calling maybe his best friend and alerting him to what's going on and asking for help? Maybe his parents??

I'm sure the police - once they are at the house can recommend a good alarm system and probably even someone to install it.

---

Posted by Songstress1212

You needed to call the police once he kicked the window in. You have to get a restraining order, his behavior is not normal and you have to protect yourself from him. Do NOT talk to him thinking it will get him to leave you alone. It will just get worse. Go to your precinct now and fill out the paperwork and then have your grandma tell him that he isnt allowed within a few feet of you and your house...It may not stop him but if he comes near you, they can arrest him. Good luck and carry some mace.

Im sorry youre going through so much drama. I hope everything works out.

---

my dad thinks the cops won't do anything because technically I didn't see him. of course he's denying coming here lastnight. we didn't know the window was broken in till this morning. he's borrowing his friends car but of course now he's saying oh I have no car how would I get there blah blah. is it easy to get a restraining order?

---

Posted by davenjess

First off - you need to feel confident in yourself and the fact that you were strong enough to walk away. You know we are all proud of you and support you in any way we can.

Secondly - call the police. Show them the kicked in window - alert them to the fact that he was abusive and ask what it will take to get a restraining order.

Thirdly - does he have any friends you can rely on to keep him in check? Are you okay with calling maybe his best friend and alerting him to what's going on and asking for help? Maybe his parents??

I'm sure the police - once they are at the house can recommend a good alarm system and probably even someone to install it.

---

the police have been here before for his abuse. I never pressed charges though. his friends seem to think I'm lying about everything. he called me 30x so eventually I called him back. then his friend texted me saying to leave him alone to stop calling. I don't know what he's telling them. his parents he doesn't speak to anymore mainly because of the abuse in the past. I mean when he stole my car all his friends were laughing saying he didn't steal it. though I had broken up with him, and he ran out of the house with my keys, taking my car with him. isn't that stealing?

---

Posted by poisonivy918

---

Posted by Songstress1212

You needed to call the police once he kicked the window in. You have to get a restraining order, his behavior is not normal and you have to protect yourself from him. Do NOT talk to him thinking it will get him to leave you alone. It will just get worse. Go to your precinct now and fill out the paperwork and then have your grandma tell him that he isnt allowed within a few feet of you and your house...It may not stop him but if he comes near you, they can arrest him. Good luck and carry some mace.

Im sorry youre going through so much drama. I hope everything works out.

---

my dad thinks the cops won't do anything because technically I didn't see him. of course he's denying coming here lastnight. we didn't know the window was broken in till this morning. he's borrowing his friends car but of course now he's saying oh I have no car how would I get there blah blah. is it easy to get a restraining order?

---

Your dad may not think they'll do anything - but the astounding number of cases of violence against women may provoke the police to do something..really... It costs you NOTHING to go down to the station and talk to someone.

---

Posted by Soon2beAlberti

restraining order and get a bully breed dog and have it trained to protect you. If you can get a friend to move in with you thats even better. what area do you live in? maybe we can have a buddy system with another bride who is in your area where u guys can exchange numbers and if anything happens you can call that person to let her know you need help. dude if I live near you i'd be there in a heart beat with a bat on hand. I don't play games when it comes to abusive men. sick me on him...just say the word.

---

lol. I'm in nassau mineola. he's a big guys. he's pushed not only my female friends, but my male friends. I'm so scared he's going to hurt one of my guy friends. especially if he sees me anywhere with them. I was afraid to go to Savannah lastnight because he knows I go there. otherwise I'm going to all new places for now.

OMG I am sorry. This is so terrible. The first thing you need to do is change your phone number s ohe had no way of contacting you. Secondly I dont think an alarm will help that much. Idont want to put in life in the hand of someone else just yet. Some alarm companies are good but some arents that quick and wont respond before god forbid something happens to you.

IF things are getting really out of hand you can get some kind of protection from the court.

Hang in there!! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. He's just lashing back for al his abusivenes.

OMG- whar a wacko- im sorry he is doing this to you.

I missed the post, but your RH was cancelled?? the just cancelled it without you going there?

You definitely need to get a restraining order b/c he is out of control. He needs to see that you mean business. Dont be affraid to call the cops on him and definately alert them to patrol your wedding.

That is definitely harrasment. Call your phone company. You can alret them that you are getting harasing calls and then you do *64 or 67 or something and they will alert the police next time the harrasing # shows up on your phone. You need to notify them first before doing the *67 thing (I forget which #- FMIL told me about it)

Good Luck- I hope he comes to his senses and leaves you alone. Get some mace or something too, just in case.

---

Posted by poisonivy918

---

Posted by Soon2beAlberti

restraining order and get a bully breed dog and have it trained to protect you. If you can get a friend to move in with you thats even better. what area do you live in? maybe we can have a buddy system with another bride who is in your area where u guys can exchange numbers and if anything happens you can call that person to let her know you need help. dude if I live near you i'd be there in a heart beat with a bat on hand. I don't play games when it comes to abusive men. sick me on him...just say the word.

---

lol. I'm in nassau mineola. he's a big guys. he's pushed not only my female friends, but my male friends. I'm so scared he's going to hurt one of my guy friends. especially if he sees me anywhere with them. I was afraid to go to Savannah lastnight because he knows I go there. otherwise I'm going to all new places for now.

---

you need to be going out with some guy friends because if anything goes down you need somebody who's capable of at least keeping him at bay. but whatever you do don't show him fear. make him feel like if he comes after you he's gonna get a hell of a fight.

---

Posted by ChristineAaron08

OMG- whar a wacko- im sorry he is doing this to you.

I missed the post, but your RH was cancelled?? the just cancelled it without you going there?

You definitely need to get a restraining order b/c he is out of control. He needs to see that you mean business. Dont be affraid to call the cops on him and definately alert them to patrol your wedding.

That is definitely harrasment. Call your phone company. You can alret them that you are getting harasing calls and then you do *64 or 67 or something and they will alert the police next time the harrasing # shows up on your phone. You need to notify them first before doing the *67 thing (I forget which #- FMIL told me about it)

Good Luck- I hope he comes to his senses and leaves you alone. Get some mace or something too, just in case.

---

no my grandma is flying up to help me go around canceling everything next week. we figured what is waiting 2 weeks going to do. to think I almost would have married this guy in April 08 makes me sick.

Get an order of protection!!! I did it back in high school and it costs nothing. Then when he breaks the rules, calling or coming within a certain distance-you call the cops and he gets arrested.

Sorry you are going through this. I went through it back in high school and it was scary. You are always looking over your shoulder.

Wow Poison Ivy, I'm sorry. I was in your shoes years ago with my ex-fiancee. Gladly I was strong enough to walk away from the relationship but it didn't stop him to trying to ruin my life. He was opening stuff under my name (thus the sitation with the court this week). He calls me 20 times a day since leaving him. He was just doing anything to ruin my life but I didn't let him. I finally put a restraining order against him and we never saw each other again. He died earlier this year.

My advice, put a restraining order to show who's boss.