so yeah yesterday I wrote how our wedding was canceled. now my ex fiance is stalking me. does anyone know what I can do? he called me 30x yesterday I had to shut off my phone for 2 hours. the 2nd it was back on the phone calls started again then after I went to Savannah with friends, I came home and he said he wanted to see me (I said no). then showed up here at like 3 am! I wouldn't go outside though. he was abusive almost our whole relationship so I'm scared to be alone with him. so then I heard him trying to break in! he ended up kicking in my basement window. thankfully my grandma (who I had to wake up at 3 am) called him and said I called the cops so he ran off. does anyone know what I can do? does anyone know how much an alarm system would be? I live with my father but he sleeps like the dead lol he hears nothing. my father also works 95% of the time. I'm alone a lot here. can the cops do anything? technically I didn't see him but I know it was him.
I just want my life back. I'm so tired of being terrified every moment I come back home late at night. like he's gonna jump out and grab me. most girls who get killed by ex bfs it's after the relationship is over not during should I have a friend move in for awhile? I feel bad dragging people into this. to think only a few weeks ago he was my fiance. who I was about to marry.
ant n tilde
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Member since
Re: NWR. being stalked :(
ok first of all go to the police. Even if you don't have enough evidence to get a restraining order against him - you can open a file on him and start building a case, this way - if he does it again you will have more evidence and they will be more likely to give you the restraining order.
then, get a notebook - write down every single thing that you can remember that he has done that you would consider abuse and/or threatening - write down dates/times if you remember - write down the names and information of people who may have witnessed this or who you may have told about this.
for the time being, do not go anywhere alone. make sure that everyone know where you are at all times.
that buddy system sounds like a great idea - you should have a few people who you can call if he gets out of control.
DO NOT hesitate to go to the police DO NOT hesitate to ask for help!
Good Luck! I am so sorry that you have to deal with this!
Oh yeah, I also agree with what the PP said - carry mase with you. Keep a bat by your bed etc.
mrspalomino148
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
You need to call the police asap!! please get a restraining order. If he comes within a certain amount of feet near you he will be arrested!!! make sure you keep the restraining order paper on you! If you need to talk please FM me!
mrspalomino148
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
Posted by poisonivy918
Posted by Songstress1212
You needed to call the police once he kicked the window in. You have to get a restraining order, his behavior is not normal and you have to protect yourself from him. Do NOT talk to him thinking it will get him to leave you alone. It will just get worse. Go to your precinct now and fill out the paperwork and then have your grandma tell him that he isnt allowed within a few feet of you and your house...It may not stop him but if he comes near you, they can arrest him. Good luck and carry some mace.
Im sorry youre going through so much drama. I hope everything works out.
my dad thinks the cops won't do anything because technically I didn't see him. of course he's denying coming here lastnight. we didn't know the window was broken in till this morning. he's borrowing his friends car but of course now he's saying oh I have no car how would I get there blah blah. is it easy to get a restraining order?
Believe me when I say that the police WILL do something! Especially if you said that they have been to your house before, just because you didn't file charges does not mean that they aren't in the records.
I can't express enough to you just how serious of a matter this is, please talk to the police and if nothing else carry mace, take tae bo or karate, please be able to protect yourself. I don't say it to scare you by any means, but I see woman come in and out of my precinct on the daily about this, and I don't ever want to see something happen that they maybe could have prevented.
drpepper318
Posted:
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
omg that's terrible What an awful situation to be in. Get the police involved. Tell them everything including the dates & times of what he's done to you. Get a restraining order definitely. Don't go anywhere alone, or come home alone... always try to be with a group if you can. Your safety is the most important thing and since he has been abusive in the past and went as far as to try to break into your house, you know how dangerous he is. I don't know what other advice to give, but I hope everything will be okay for you. You're very lucky that you ended the relationship when you did!
MrsBrags7706
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR. being stalked :(
awww
U can file a report w. the police and give him his name. and find out more info about a Court order of protection. Usually, an icindident needs to occur to obtain a cour order of protection, but since he's abused you before, u shouldnt have a problem, although the abuse was unreported.
I would go down to the police station rightaway [with a friend] and discuss it w/. them. U shouldnt have to live ur life in fear. Maybe u can also have a close friend stay with u for a few nights or you can stay at a close friends for a few nights.
good luck!
040508Bride
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
restraining order ASAP
Snowflake08
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
Posted by DomTriniBRL
Wow Poison Ivy, I'm sorry. I was in your shoes years ago with my ex-fiancee. Gladly I was strong enough to walk away from the relationship but it didn't stop him to trying to ruin my life. He was opening stuff under my name (thus the sitation with the court this week). He calls me 20 times a day since leaving him. He was just doing anything to ruin my life but I didn't let him. I finally put a restraining order against him and we never saw each other again. He died earlier this year.
My advice, put a restraining order to show who's boss.
wow, he died??
Jumbles
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
Posted by ChristineAaron08
OMG- whar a wacko- im sorry he is doing this to you.
I missed the post, but your RH was cancelled?? the just cancelled it without you going there?
You definitely need to get a restraining order b/c he is out of control. He needs to see that you mean business. Dont be affraid to call the cops on him and definately alert them to patrol your wedding.
That is definitely harrasment. Call your phone company. You can alret them that you are getting harasing calls and then you do *64 or 67 or something and they will alert the police next time the harrasing # shows up on your phone. You need to notify them first before doing the *67 thing (I forget which #- FMIL told me about it)
Good Luck- I hope he comes to his senses and leaves you alone. Get some mace or something too, just in case.
it is *64 that will trace all the phone calls and keep a log with the phone company
DomTriniBRL
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by DomTriniBRL
Wow Poison Ivy, I'm sorry. I was in your shoes years ago with my ex-fiancee. Gladly I was strong enough to walk away from the relationship but it didn't stop him to trying to ruin my life. He was opening stuff under my name (thus the sitation with the court this week). He calls me 20 times a day since leaving him. He was just doing anything to ruin my life but I didn't let him. I finally put a restraining order against him and we never saw each other again. He died earlier this year.
My advice, put a restraining order to show who's boss.
wow, he died??
Cancer. I found out from his brother via phone call. And no I wasn't celebrating at all... as a matter of fact I was sad about the sitation. It's just tough that his dirty deeds is still there in the present with my court issue.
But this thread isn't about me... she needs our help to make sure her ex-fiancee doesn't do anything to her. Stalking in scary *hit.
Lucky0510
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
You dont have to press anything special to make sure the phone company traces it... the police will contact the phone company if they need proof. All you have to do is call the police and tell them what is going on... it really is much easier then it sounds. I avoided doing it to my ex for a long time cause I though it would be such a hassle.... it really isn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I am sorry you are going through this
anneandchris
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Re: NWR. being stalked :(
I am so sorry to hear this. I cant even imagine how you are feeling right now. These girls are giving great advise so please follow it -- Document anything and everything.
