NWR - Family feuds

Hey ladies,

I need your opinion on something. I just replied to a post and it got me thinking about my brothers.

I have two, both older than me. It's been 5 years since I've spoken to one of them. The holidays really get me upset. Im having a hard time even writing this. I had to cut it down.

The plan for my bridal party was to have my brothers, their wives and my nieces and nephew in it. My MOH would always be my BFF Elena, she's the best.

I have absolutely no idea how it really started. At the time my brothers were the one who were feuding. Their wives couldn't stand one another. We had to split everything and never tell the other brother that we seen the other one. We were stuck in the middle.

I took it upon myself to call a family meeting and put everything out in the open. I feel if you have something to say then you should say it someones face. This never happened. I wanted it resolved before the new year. The dates kept on changing and it became a huge phone fight . My brother decided to cut us off all together.

I guess my question is should I try to call him? My biggest fear is that he wont speak to me.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring anyone down, especially for the holidays.
Family s@cks sometimes!!!!

awwwwww I'm so sorry your going through this!!! When my dad married my mom it was his 2nd marriage, and his oldest son basically disowned him.....and guess what, when my dad died, it was probably 10 years earlier that my half brother spoke to him......sorry to make this even more of a downer, but my point is.......no matter what the argument- 2 wives not getting along, brothers just acting stupid, you will always be family, and sometimes you have to agree to disagree and basically deal with each other- I think your brothers need to come to this realization.

I would say just be the bigger person and either call your brothers on Christmas Day or even New Years and say, hey I'd like to start 2007 off the right way, this is the year I'm getting married, and I want you, as my brother, to be there for this important time in my life. They should understand how this is affecting you, and that you are trying to keep the family together.........if you need to talk, you know I'm here for you!!!

Thanks Helen you're the Best!!! My MOH is kinda going through the same thing, so it's been bringing up all the old feelings again. It kills me.

Thank you so much.

I completely agree with Helen, there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. I would attempt to call him, and in all honestly-the worst that happens is he doesnt talk to you and you go on the way you have been and nothing changes.
Unfortunately sometimes it takes ALOT to get someone to forgive and forget, I know Ihave been like that. You should definitely give it a try, if for nothing more then to know that you attempted to make it right. After that, its on him.

Good Luck and tons of for you

Aww I am so sorry ur going through this. We have some issues with FH's sister and this time of year plus plannign a wedding it really truly brings u down. Call him one more time, I think u have to for urself, bc hey he could talk to u right? And if he doesn't is not gonna change the fact that he already dut all ties off. U are experiencing one of the most important things is ur life and u owe it to urself t give it one last shot!!


Good luck hope all works out!!

I also agree with Helen....your are totally correct in your feelings; this is a very upsetting thing; especially with your wedding coming up; its supposed to be a wonderful time.

My suggestion is to simply let them know how important it is to you; and how you wish they could make peace.

Unfortunately, this is something they will have to do on their own.....forcing a family meeting will probably not be effective.....the feelings are just too raw. All you can do is ask that they be there on your wedding day....to be there for YOU.

do you think you could write your feelings down and send a card? Sometimes when people talk about things right away, tempers flare and things get said that cannot be taken back. I have also found that people cannot interrupt your thoughts when they're written down and they can re-read them at any later time to get clarification. Sometimes when people are talking you tend to miss what they're saying...Just a thought!
Hope you have a great Holiday!

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Posted by TLC1018

do you think you could write your feelings down and send a card? Sometimes when people talk about things right away, tempers flare and things get said that cannot be taken back. I have also found that people cannot interrupt your thoughts when they're written down and they can re-read them at any later time to get clarification. Sometimes when people are talking you tend to miss what they're saying...Just a thought!
Hope you have a great Holiday!

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great suggestion! this way words can't get taken out of context later, and after you send it you can follow up with a phone call after a week or something if you haven't heard back from him.

Thanks Ladies for all the great advice. I will follow through with them all. I never knew the reason why he turned on us, so that bothers me the most.

I really appreciate your support and kindness.

Have a wonderful Holiday!!!!

Suzanne

I feel he is your brother you will always love him no matter what so take that chance and call him i would and if it doesnt work out just know you tried.So sorry things are like this Good luck and let us know what you do and know we are all here for you!!