we are having kids right away due to our age. he will be 41 when we get married and i will be 32
Okay I disagree with a couple of things here. These kids are not YOUR OWN. They are someone elses. Its 100% certain that you will love your own child more then you ever loved anything in this world. I believe that just becuase there is a child with relative genes of deafness and autism, doesnt mean that the child is Not enjoying his life. I was born half deaf and I have no problem with it...other people may find it an inconvenience....but my parents dealt with it just find...You all have plenty of time to make this decision and its up to you...but please spare me with the reasons you are coming up with here....
Posted by curiousgeorge
Okay I disagree with a couple of things here. These kids are not YOUR OWN. They are someone elses. Its 100% certain that you will love your own child more then you ever loved anything in this world. I believe that just becuase there is a child with relative genes of deafness and autism, doesnt mean that the child is Not enjoying his life. I was born half deaf and I have no problem with it...other people may find it an inconvenience....but my parents dealt with it just find...You all have plenty of time to make this decision and its up to you...but please spare me with the reasons you are coming up with here....
i didnt mean to offend anyone - but i dont think you are quite understanding my original post, but i welcome all opinions!
Posted by eddies girl
im sorry i dont want to speak for tilde but i think that she was just second guessing herself about what it means to be a parent and like she said she just wanted to vent here because she knows that we are all here to help her or to just be here to listen...which i dont think she has anything to be worried about because even from not knowing her and just the way she helps the girls you can tell she has a great heart and i can understand her reasons for having doubts about her future with children but i honestly dont think she has anything to be worried about, and she has plenty of time to decide what she truly wants
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by eddies girl
im sorry i dont want to speak for tilde but i think that she was just second guessing herself about what it means to be a parent and like she said she just wanted to vent here because she knows that we are all here to help her or to just be here to listen...which i dont think she has anything to be worried about because even from not knowing her and just the way she helps the girls you can tell she has a great heart and i can understand her reasons for having doubts about her future with children but i honestly dont think she has anything to be worried about, and she has plenty of time to decide what she truly wants
thank you![]()
Posted by eddies girl
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by eddies girl
im sorry i dont want to speak for tilde but i think that she was just second guessing herself about what it means to be a parent and like she said she just wanted to vent here because she knows that we are all here to help her or to just be here to listen...which i dont think she has anything to be worried about because even from not knowing her and just the way she helps the girls you can tell she has a great heart and i can understand her reasons for having doubts about her future with children but i honestly dont think she has anything to be worried about, and she has plenty of time to decide what she truly wants
thank you![]()
your welcome......doesnt this little guy look constipated..lol
Posted by ShanonandSteve
Since we are getting married, the talk of having kids has come up. I have always loved kids, and always wanted a few. FH wants to have kids too.
But now that marriage and a family are becoming more of a reality, I began to think. My younger brother is deaf. And Often times it is hereditary. My mothers cousin is also deaf. But being around all of my brothers friends, many of them have deaf siblings as well.
I know how well we handled it in my family, but I have always been bothered by people who think of my brother as 'the cute deaf kid'.
When I was younger I spoke to my mom about it, and she mentioned a poem someone showed her. So I found it... I have always thought it was really really sweet.
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Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
'Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.
'Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.
'Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint.... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.'
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, 'Give her a handicapped child.'
The angel is curious. 'Why this one, God? She's so happy.'
'Exactly,' smiles God. 'Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.'
'But has she patience?' asks the angel.
'I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independance. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy.'
'But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you.'
God smiles. 'No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.'
The angel gasps, 'Selfishness? Is that a virtue?'
God nods. 'If she can't seperate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.
'I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.'
'And what about her patron saint?' asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.
God smiles. 'A mirror will suffice.'
I know exactly how you are feeling. I have ALWAYS wanted kids, but when I began teaching at a school for Autism, I started to have second thoughts. I think you just have to go with how your heart feels and see where life takes you, because you can debate about it forever, but you will never know what life will give you. I still don't know how I feel about it.
i wasnt sure about kids either..and then my FH wanted them bad..and now im not sure if i can hold a baby after a lot of tests
Me and my FH have no plans to have kids. I dont know if that might change some day but, not as of now. I wouldnt get your self to worried yet.
I want to thank everyone who took the time out to respond to this. . . i kind of wrote it out just to figure it out in my own head ( maybe i should just get a diary lol) but i really received an unbelievable amount of help from this post. . . thank you all so much!
