NWR- Just for a laugh

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use 'fine' to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means 'something,' and you should be on your toes. 'Nothing' is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing'
usually signifies an argument that will last 'Five Minutes' and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over 'Nothing' and will end with the word 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means 'I give up' or 'do what you want because I don't care' You will get a 'Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead' in just a few minutes, followed by 'Nothing' and 'Fine' and she will talk to you in about 'Five Minutes' when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A 'Loud Sigh' means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over 'Nothing'.

hee hee - I like that!!

LOL! very cute

My FH is very familiar with all the above terms!

Too funny!!

Just another thing I came across in my e-mail:

1) If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free.... You either married it or gave birth to it.
2) Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
3) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
5) The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.
6) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
7) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
8) Amazing! ! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
9) They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, 'Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?' Clear as a bell my body said, 'Listen fatty....do it and die.'
10) I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.

Southern Love Poem

Susie Lee done fell in love;
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her Pappy so.

Pappy told her, 'Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' Ma don't know,
But Joe is yo' half brother'

So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, 'There's trouble still...

You can't marry Will, my gal.,
And please don't tell your Mother,
But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother.

But Mama knew and said to Susie,
Just do what makes you happy;
Marry Will or marry Joe cuz
You ain't no kin to Pappy

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by
him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? You have been with me
all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my
side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started
failing, you were still by my side...You know what?

'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with
warmth.

' I think you're bad luck, get the heck away from me .'

That's the last one- promise!