NWR - Living Situation

So yesterday I got into a bit of a fight with my mom. I have no privacy where I live...she constantly comes in and out of my room to straighten it up because she's insanely anal. I'm 25 and I feel like this is insane. I'm never happy when I am at my house anymore.
I'd move in with FH, but his parents are extremely invasive. His laundry room is connected to his room downstairs and his parents give us no privacy. Also, our work hours are very different and I don't necessarily feel comfortable being there and leaving when he isn't home. His parents are like my own, it's just still a little awkward for me. We plan on renting for a bit, but are also trying to save for the wedding. We plan to start looking for a place after our e-party at the end of March.
I can't stand to live at home anymore, but I feel like living with FH will just make matters worse. Any input would be extremely helpful!!

NWR - Living Situation

One of the best decisions we made about our relationship was to move in together. Granted we weren't living with our parents but so nice going to bed and waking up next to each other. FH works crazy hours so I feel if we didn't live together there would be days that we wouldn't see each other.
It was weird telling my parents but they understood and accepted. We weren't even engaged at this point.

NWR - Living Situation

The BEST decision FH & I made was to move in together. We have been living together for over a year and it has been phenomenal.

NWR - Living Situation

2013 crasher...

Honestly, if I was you I would look into an apartment with your FH. When I met FH, I was living at home and he was living on his own. We moved in together about 14 months into dating (we found a different apartment than the one he had been living in) and I will say it was the best decision I ever made. My relationship with my parents is so much better since I don't live at home anymore. Explore your options - there are plenty of apartments that are affordable. You just may not be able to get a 1-2 bedroom for now. HTH Good luck!

NWR - Living Situation

Me and my fiancé still both live home too! We are DYING to get out! After our vacation in April we are going to start looking. It's overwhelming to think of paying rent and saving for a wedding but hopefully it all works out! It's hard being 25 living with our parents with no privacy

NWR - Living Situation

I felt like my parents were invasive and just aggravating in general long before I even met FH. I moved out as soon as I got graduated college and got a FT job in my field. It was the best decision ever. FH went away for school and has been alone a long while too so he moved in with me or back home when is lease expired. It is great, with our crazy schedules I'd barely see him if we didn't.

Re: NWR - Living Situation

we both live with my dad upstairs at his house but my dad is awesome who besides his smoking never bothers us. plus when we have people over my dad who cooks loves to cook for everyone lol. it's basically like having a fun roommate

anyway my mom on the other hand sounds exactly like your mom lol. when my mom or grandma ever come to visit I have no privacy and they love to reorganize or clean up our room. last time my grandma threw out a ton of gift cards because she figured I used them. if I used them I'd throw them out! my mom also loves to take my stuff without asking. I gotta watch her around my purses lol. I'm almost 30 and they still do this btw lol every single time.

so yeah I totally could never live with my mom. I don't even think I could live near my mom lol. she hounds us everyday to move down south and fh is like we'll end up divorced lol. they don't believe in privacy they go thru all my stuff and move everything. I even remember going on vaca last year and when we came back my grandma was all weird and kept asking me about babies and pregnancy stuff. then I remembered we had a scare the year before and I still had an extra pregnancy test hidden away somewhere. she must have found it and thought it was new lol.

NWR - Living Situation

Four years ago (three years into our relationship) I approached FH and asked him if he was interested in getting an apartment together. My mother was going through a bad divorce and we were putting our house up for sale. I knew eventually I'd move out and didn't want her to be stuck with a 3 bedroom if she only needed a two! He said he wasn't ready. Not much later, I told him I was going to look for apts for me. He said not to and that we should look at houses. I felt panic stricken, LOL. We started looking in late september and we were moved into our home in november, I NEVER thought it would happen that quickly. Living together is a big adjustment (or at least it was for us) but theres nothing like going to bed and waking up next to the person you love every day!! So my advice is start looking and Good Luck!!

NWR - Living Situation

I agree that moving in with FH was the best decision we ever made. It taught us a lot about patience and compromising and I really believe it got us prepared for marriage. But since money is tight and you're saving for a wedding, I say stick it out until you guys get married. Maybe then you'll appreciate it so much more. Good luck!

NWR - Living Situation

We're definitely going to look in March. I look all the time for apartments. We can afford it, it's just going to be tight for a bit. I just don't think I can even wait that long. I'm going crazy! I took a bunch of clothes with me to FH's last night, but I totally can't stay there all week and I feel bad going back home because I was a little nasty with my mom. It'll work out either way, I'm sure. I'm just getting anxious to move in with him. His only problem is that he doesn't want to be paying someone else's mortgage. We totally can't afford a house right now though. He's coming to terms with the fact that we are going to have to get an apartment. Thanks for your input ladies.

NWR - Living Situation

FH and I moved in together after dating 6 months (3 of those months I was living in Seattle and we did the long distance thing!) and while that maybe WAY too fast for some people, it worked out great for us! We were both living at home when we met and our relationships with our parents improved a lot once we moved out. Plus, it's so much fun! I love being together all the time I know it sounds corny (and not to mention obvious due to proximity) but we grow closer everyday.

Re: NWR - Living Situation

I live home rent free. Though I'd much rather live with FH, my parents really aren't bad & FH is always welcome to sleep here. FH on the other hand has a very small house and there is no privacy unless we spend the day cooped up in his bedroom. FH pays rent to his mom and step dad for literally a bedroom (which is a whole nother' story. ) BUT had it been the case where I had to pay rent also we would DEF move in together now. We will prob get an apartment together 3-6 months before the wedding because we are trying to save as much as possible for both the wedding and our 'house fund' If your home situation isn't comfortable then I'd move out. If you can suck it up, I'd stay for the reason of saving.

NWR - Living Situation

Hopefully this is some food for thought...

Honestly, moving out of my parents' house last summer was THE BEST THING I've ever done. My mom and I couldn't stand each other, and my dad never EVER took my side because she's the dominant one. I would leave work on Friday afternoons to spend the weekend at FH's apartment an hour away and come home late Sunday afternoon and immediately want to leave the house again. And during the summer, I would even spend an extra night in the middle of the week. Anything to get away from home. Could not STAND each other. I was convinced that I was going to want to leave her out of wedding planning as much as possible and maybe even cut off all contact. As far as I was concerned, our relationship was completely broken.

And now, almost 8 months later, we get along better than we ever have. It's really funny how things work out, but I'm okay with telling her almost everything now. Not that it's perfect and not that things got better immediately. It did take a little bit of time, and the first several times I went home, I immediately got that feeling of wanting to leave right away. But the last couple of times, I went over there for a couple of hours and part of me kind of wanted to stay a little bit longer. We haven't fought in awhile. It took me leaving to repair our relationship, and I am so glad I did.

NWR - Living Situation

Like Lori0413... I moved out and it salvaged my relationship with my mom. I moved out my mom's at 21 years old after yet ANOTHER one of our massive fights. My best friends mom let me live at her house rent free (which was incredibly generous and I seriously don't know how to EVER repay for her that).

My mom and I always had our issues after my parents split up and my step father just made matters worse. Things got a little bit worse within the first few months of me leaving... but moving out ABSOLUTELY repaired my relationship with BOTH my mother and stepfather so much so that I'm even considering having my stepdad walk me down the aisle along with my father.

FH still lives at home in his parents basement and basically has a full apartment. Its everything but the kitchen. I moved in 'officially' in november and his parent's let us stay here rent free. I had been staying here though since last january almost every night and I had a key since the summer time.

I LOVE his parents and they really never borrow us. I even find myself going upstairs just to hang out and talk with his mom when I'm downstairs and lonely.

We plan on staying here for a little while after the wedding until we have enough saved up to either get a condo or a townhouse or something while we look for land to build on. FH wants to build me a house :) We want our own place before we have babies so we'll be out of his parents within 2 years of the wedding.


I say if you and FH can afford it... and STILL have the wedding of your dreams... go for it. Things may get worse with your mom because she may feel like you're doing it to 'hurt her on purpose' (if shes anything like my mother .. that WILL be the case) but things will get better!


Good luck and keep us posted!!

NWR - Living Situation

I live at home. It's hard for me because at 18 I went away to college and only was home on vacations/ summer so I always had an escape. Moving away to school definitely improved my relationship with my parents. However fh and I both live at home and its starting to get to us! We so want to live together but know its in our best interest to live at home for as long as possible so that's what we are doing. We will have enough money for our condo come next August so we are going to try and buy 3-4 months before the wedding. I would say do what is right in your heart and do the best thing to salvage your family relationship. Weddings are secondary to the relationships

Re: NWR - Living Situation

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Posted by MissToMrs

I live at home. It's hard for me because at 18 I went away to college and only was home on vacations/ summer so I always had an escape. Moving away to school definitely improved my relationship work my parents. However fh and I both live at home and its starting to get to us! We so want to live together but know its in our ear interest to live at home for as long as possible so that's what we are doing. We will have enough money for our condo come next August so we are going to try and buy 3-4 months before the wedding. I would say do what is right in your heart and do the best thing to salvage your family relationship. Weddings are secondary to the relationships

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I'm in the same situation. We're both currently living at home. I'm fortunate that I have a good relationship with my parents, but I've been getting increasingly frustrated because I would obviously rather be living with FH. Our wedding is in May so we're planning on moving in together around January 2014. We figure that will give us a little extra time to save and we would only really need to rent for 1 year before we could possibly put a down payment on a house. Having a move-out time frame in mind definitely helps, but I wish it would come sooner! It really stinks not being able to see him everyday. I really want to start building a life with him!

NWR - Living Situation

I can understand what your feeling, which is why I moved out on my own. My FH has moved in with me and yes it does add stress to the wedding planning but being on my own gives me peace of mind.

My suggestion is that you and you FH discuss how you are both feeling about the living situation and your plans after marriage. Each person situation differs; if a house is what you want asap after the wedding then you may want to stay with either set of parents, if your ok with renting then looking to see if its cost effective. I personally am for a good state of mind.

Good luck.

NWR - Living Situation

I totally understand where your coming from. When I lived at home, I had no privacy and stuff would go missing (I have 2 younger sisters haha). About a year after FH started dating we moved in together. It was one of the best decisions we made. Not only did our relationship with each other change and evolve, so did our relationship with our parents.

If it's something you can financially swing, I would completely recommend it!

NWR - Living Situation

both of you being at your parents is your biggest advantage. when FH and I got our new place we were staying at my moms so we just constantly checked craigslist.com and padmapper.com until we found the perfect place for the right price and we were able to move. so keep your eyes open for something because if we would have been paying a regular price and been forced into an apartment I didn't love it would be hell but being able to wait until the right thing came along was great. in the meanwhile you should tell your mom your old enough to have privacy because you're getting married and will have your own household to take care of soon and maybe she'll see things in a different light. :)