NWR: need opinion on what I should do here

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree.

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Posted by dianadrw

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree.

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Me three!

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Posted by ali120206

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Posted by dianadrw

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree.

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Me three!

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Me four!!

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Posted by MileysGirl

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Posted by ali120206

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Posted by dianadrw

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree.

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Me three!

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Me four!!

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Same here.

I just know that if his yicky mom doesn't do something with some level of class, i will NEVER hear the end of it. NEVER.
She hasn't even called me to wishe my family well through me --as a side note, she has only called my cell a handful of times when either seh needed legal help or she couldn't find my FI. ugh

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Posted by LisaJill

I just know that if his yicky mom doesn't do something with some level of class, i will NEVER hear the end of it. NEVER.
She hasn't even called me to wishe my family well through me --as a side note, she has only called my cell a handful of times when either seh needed legal help or she couldn't find my FI. ugh

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Um, from what you've said about your FMIL, I'd be GRATEFUL that she didn't call me!! I'm always happiest when *not* talking to my ILs.

I think the classiest thing you can expect out of her at the brunch is a congratulations. While a baby gift would be a lovely gesture, it is not even remotely required of her.

I know my parents don't expect that sort of thing from my ILs.

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Posted by BlueTulip

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Posted by MileysGirl

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Posted by ali120206

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Posted by dianadrw

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree.

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Me three!

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Me four!!

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Same here.

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Y ep, I agree. You can't tell her what to do, she is a grown woman.

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by LisaJill

I just know that if his yicky mom doesn't do something with some level of class, i will NEVER hear the end of it. NEVER.
She hasn't even called me to wishe my family well through me --as a side note, she has only called my cell a handful of times when either seh needed legal help or she couldn't find my FI. ugh

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Um, from what you've said about your FMIL, I'd be GRATEFUL that she didn't call me!! I'm always happiest when *not* talking to my ILs.

I think the classiest thing you can expect out of her at the brunch is a congratulations. While a baby gift would be a lovely gesture, it is not even remotely required of her.

I know my parents don't expect that sort of thing from my ILs.

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ditto... I wouldn't stress over it. I don't think they're obligated to do anything, really.

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree. If I was your MIL I would without thinking send your sister a gift. But some people view things differently. I do not think it is your place to ask her to send something. However you could mention it to FH and he has the option of telling his mother. HTH

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Posted by ali120206

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Posted by dianadrw

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree.

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Me three!

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I also agree

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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110% agree. don't push it. just leave it alone. you just let your parents know that she's just not that kind of person. you're not your FMIL's keeper! she's a grown up.

some people just aren't that way. my FH is well acquainted with just about all my family, but in 4 yrs., my family has not met his dad or that whole side of the family. my family is like yours, it's nice etiquette to do the right thing--but his dad is NOT! you're parents will just have to get over it and not sweat it too much if your FMIL doesn't call or give a gift. there are such bigger issues out there!!

I would agree with you except for the fact that you said your FMIL has never met your sister or your parents. I realize they will know each other shortly, but they don't now, and therefore I don't think she's obligated to call or send a gift at all. At the brunch she should certainly offer her congratulations but I don't think a gift is required. Of course it would be nice but from the tone of your post, it doesn't sound like that's the kind of person you're dealing with.

I agree with everyone who said that you should not request anything of her. By the same token, I think it is very unfair of your family if you 'never hear the end of it' if she doesn't do those things. Your FMIL is no reflection on you and if your family already knows and loves your FH, then her poor manners shouldn't reflect on him either.

Your sister's MIL that sent you the engagement gift how long did she know you? If you guys knew each other I could see her sending you a gift you guys are family.....but being that your family have never met your FMIL she may not think about sending a gift. But she should maybe call though to congratulate your parents and break the ice.

FH and I have been together for 8 yrs and our parents have never met..I guess they will at the rehearsal dinner.

While it would be nice for your FMIL to do what you mentioned, you cannot expect it or even suggest it.

She may not be comfortable and IMO it's not your place (or your FIs) to tell her what to do.

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S

I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that

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I agree with this!!

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Posted by JCam695

While it would be nice for your FMIL to do what you mentioned, you cannot expect it or even suggest it.

She may not be comfortable and IMO it's not your place (or your FIs) to tell her what to do.

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I agree. Also, they have not even met yet. Although it would be nice, that's obviously her decision.

You can't dictate what people should/shouldn't do.

IMO it would be different if they met a few times or have a relationship.

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Posted by LisaJill

Ok, FMIL and my parents have never met and FH and i have been together over 4 years. As it stands now, they are going to meet for the first time on March 26th for brunch. My sister had a baby on sunday and my parents are grandparents for the first time. I really think that it is the right thing to do for my FMIL to send a small gift (like a baby outfit) to my sister. They have not met but I mean they will be at family functions for a long time together. My sisters MIL sent us an engagement gift and stuff, i think it is just right. Also I think my FMIL should make a quick call to my mom to congratulate her on becoming a grandmother (and I think that will break the ice a bit -- and show some class). Am I wrong for strongly suggesting that my FI suggest these things to his mother? What do you ladies think? FYI-- she hasn't even called to congratulate me yet.

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I really disagree with you, they have never met, maybe if they already knew each other and had a realtionship with your family. I personally would not expect this from my FMIL.