Ok, FMIL and my parents have never met and FH and i have been together over 4 years. As it stands now, they are going to meet for the first time on March 26th for brunch. My sister had a baby on sunday and my parents are grandparents for the first time. I really think that it is the right thing to do for my FMIL to send a small gift (like a baby outfit) to my sister. They have not met but I mean they will be at family functions for a long time together. My sisters MIL sent us an engagement gift and stuff, i think it is just right. Also I think my FMIL should make a quick call to my mom to congratulate her on becoming a grandmother (and I think that will break the ice a bit -- and show some class). Am I wrong for strongly suggesting that my FI suggest these things to his mother? What do you ladies think? FYI-- she hasn't even called to congratulate me yet.
ZuzusPetals
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Re: NWR: need opinion on what I should do here
Posted by eroxgirl
I would agree with you except for the fact that you said your FMIL has never met your sister or your parents. I realize they will know each other shortly, but they don't now, and therefore I don't think she's obligated to call or send a gift at all. At the brunch she should certainly offer her congratulations but I don't think a gift is required. Of course it would be nice but from the tone of your post, it doesn't sound like that's the kind of person you're dealing with.
I agree with everyone who said that you should not request anything of her. By the same token, I think it is very unfair of your family if you 'never hear the end of it' if she doesn't do those things. Your FMIL is no reflection on you and if your family already knows and loves your FH, then her poor manners shouldn't reflect on him either.
well said! I agree with that 100%. When you have expectations you set yourself up for failure. It seems like you have very high expectations for future mother in law. Be happy with what you have and any nice gesture you and/or your family receives. I think your family should form their own opinions about your FIL's.
ML110
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Re: NWR: need opinion on what I should do here
just had to add my agreement with the other girls ( since work wouldn't let it go through when i tried to post earlier). i don't think you or FI should ask or tell FMIL what to do- shes a grown women. also, if somebody asks her to send a card or gift or whatever, that means she did it beause somebody asked her to and it didn't really come from the heart- which isn't right.... she hasn't met your family yet and doesn't know them.... shes not obligated to get anything- i think a congratulations at the brunch would be fine.
jenntony
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Re: NWR: need opinion on what I should do here
Posted by SPITSBRIDE
Posted by ali120206
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by Soon2BeMrs.S
I think it would be really nice for your FMIL to do all that was suggested, however I don't think it's right for you to ask her to do that
I agree.
Me three!
I also agree
i agree too
i102bcute
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Re: NWR: need opinion on what I should do here
Posted by stephanielyse
I think you're right, it would be nice for her to send a small gift and call and congratulate your parents. I'm in a similar situation, in that my parents and the FILs haven't met yet. It's an awkward situation for everyone, they want to make good impressions on each other and such. I think it would be a really nice gesture - hopefull you can get FH to see that. Make sure to emphasize that it doesn't have to be anything expensive, just a onsie and socks and a card or whatever. It's really the thought that counts.
I agree..I would speak to your FH and suggest that his mom call.
Maybride519
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Re: NWR: need opinion on what I should do here
I think that you should mention it to your Fh and have him bring it up with his parents. I think it would be a very nice gesture to call or send a gift. Everyone will be family soon and I think it is a nice way to start things off.
