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NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

jellybean1420 Posted:

NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

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ahall04 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Hmmm... that's a tough one. I am so sorry that this one manager has been making things unpleasant for you. To play the side of devil's advocate, did you ever think of just walking away once you leave? Closing the door and leaving that jerk to be who he is? Chances are if he is the type of person you say he is, the letter will fall on deaf ears. I tell my FH all the time, once an a**hole, always an a**hole. As far as the letter is concerned, it sounds like you are simply sticking to the facts which is good and not attacking him personally. However, I would probably leave without making a commotion! Good luck with whatever happens!
jellybean1420 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

I know what you mean. I thought about not saying anything at all also. But at no point have I been able to defend myself or say anything b/c I have never been in the position too. The other managers know he is an a$$hole, but I still feel like I need to get across my side of the story. I'll have to think about it.
jax1023 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

I wouldn't do it. You never know who he knows elsewhere, and you don't want to be blacklisted in you industry.

I would consider filing a complaint along the lines of that letter with HR though. That was it's more anonymous and he doesn't have a copy to show to other people.
FallBride05 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by ahall04

Hmmm... that's a tough one. I am so sorry that this one manager has been making things unpleasant for you. To play the side of devil's advocate, did you ever think of just walking away once you leave? Closing the door and leaving that jerk to be who he is? Chances are if he is the type of person you say he is, the letter will fall on deaf ears. I tell my FH all the time, once an a**hole, always an a**hole. As far as the letter is concerned, it sounds like you are simply sticking to the facts which is good and not attacking him personally. However, I would probably leave without making a commotion! Good luck with whatever happens!


I agree. If you are leaving, why waste your energy?? I worked for a company (and the same boss) for almost 8 years. I was downsized and he didn't even have the curtesy to do it in person, he did it over the phone with HR on the other line. I knew my job was being eliminated for a long time, but was so angry and felt betrayed (we had a very good working relationship). BUT I walked away with grace and holding my head high.

IMO - I wouldn't even bother sending that. I was once given the advice, Never burn your bridges, you never know when you will need to cross it again.
ahall04 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by jellybean1420

I know what you mean. I thought about not saying anything at all also. But at no point have I been able to defend myself or say anything b/c I have never been in the position too. The other managers know he is an a$$hole, but I still feel like I need to get across my side of the story. I'll have to think about it.


OK, so here's the question I ask you..... Would you be sending the letter to make yourself feel better, or are you sending it because you think it will make him change his ways? Because if you really want to get across your side of the story, you can always just talk to the people directly involved and defend yourself. I'm sure if you are the hard dedicated worker you say you are, the comments he has made have not affected the way people at work see you. In speaking from experience, sometimes I feel the need to get the last word in and I end up feeling worse because it didn't do any good at all! Just things to think about! I'm sure it will be fine either way!!!
sr081906 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Honestly... the letter sounds a bit bitter. I also would not leave anything in writting. Who knows who he knows... etc.? You cannot close yourself any doors. I know that sounds 'hypocritical' but sometimes you have to be in a professional environment. Who knows if that guy can become your boss in 5 years? Don't laugh, it has happened to people I know.

I understand the need and desire to write the letter.

I would just leave it behing and be a better person.

prinses777 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Honestly... I don't think you shouldn't give him the satisfaction in knowing that you are leaving b/c of him... I think you should do something short and sweet like below

Dear (manager's name),

I hereby tender my resignation from my role as customer services manager of the financial products division of X,Y,Z company.

My resignation is effective from today. As per my contract, I am providing X,Y,Z with four weeks notice. My last working day will be March 2, 2005.

Yours sincerely,




If you really want to say something strong and and sarcastic at the same time I still say you need to be short but then I guess nasty but much stronger then what you wrote. I would also then leave the same day if you don't need the job... Again... I would only do that to **** them over... I think you walking out spur of the moment is more of a statement then any letter... ***You obviously cannot do this if you are looking for a letter of recommendation***

What ever you do... Good Luck!!!
ewickens Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

As much as I can tell you are seething about the way this man treated you, this will give him more ammunition and thoughts that he was right with what he was doing and saying.

I would suggest you don't send it, but we can't make that decision for you - only you can!

Think of this as a stepping stone in your life - learn from this experience and don't allow anyone to ever treat you like this again on a job!
kmkelly Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

I think I agree with what's been said.

You wrote the letter to get it off your chest. That's good. I don't think you shoud send it to him. It won't get you anywhere.

There's one like him in every group, every office. I'd make it a point to mention it to your HR dept., though. If you have an exit interview, maybe bring up the points in your note. Bring it to their attention.

Good luck
jellybean1420 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Thanks guys for talking some sense into me. I still think the guy is an a$$hole, and so do many other people in our office. But in the end, it would probably only make me look bad. Sometimes it just feels so good though to tell people to go F themselves. Ya know?

ewickens Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by jellybean1420

Thanks guys for talking some sense into me. I still think the guy is an a$$hole, and so do many other people in our office. But in the end, it would probably only make me look bad. Sometimes it just feels so good though to tell people to go F themselves. Ya know?


You could always send one of those cartoon images to him that actually shows a man f*ucking himself!!!!!
sr081906 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by ewickens

Posted by jellybean1420

Thanks guys for talking some sense into me. I still think the guy is an a$$hole, and so do many other people in our office. But in the end, it would probably only make me look bad. Sometimes it just feels so good though to tell people to go F themselves. Ya know?


You could always send one of those cartoon images to him that actually shows a man f*ucking himself!!!!!


alioop4282 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by jax1023

I wouldn't do it. You never know who he knows elsewhere, and you don't want to be blacklisted in you industry.

I would consider filing a complaint along the lines of that letter with HR though. That was it's more anonymous and he doesn't have a copy to show to other people.


I agree 100%. It's a small world..never burn your bridges.
natinwpb Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

I'm an HR Mgr. and I agree with most of the posts above. Please do not send this to him or cc the other mgrs. You will come out looking like the one with a problem not him. You should always leave on good terms. I'm assuming that you will have some type of exit interview? If so bring up your issues either on the form they give you or with the HR person. Just make sure your clear and concise.

greenfreak Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by natinwpb

I'm an HR Mgr. and I agree with most of the posts above. Please do not send this to him or cc the other mgrs. You will come out looking like the one with a problem not him. You should always leave on good terms. I'm assuming that you will have some type of exit interview? If so bring up your issues either on the form they give you or with the HR person. Just make sure your clear and concise.


I completely agree.

We had this exact situation at a job I had a few years ago. I put in my resignation about the same time someone else did. I had a problem employee that HR and I had been 'working with' for some time. The other woman who was quitting had a lot of pent-up anger and did what you wanted to do; sent out an email and cc'd everyone. They asked her to leave the same day instead of finishing out her 2 weeks.

But it didn't end there. There was someone in the office who knew people at her new job, and told her new employers what she did. She wasn't there long. Not to mention that she couldn't get a viable reference from her old job anymore and when asked if she left on good terms, she could not longer truthfully say yes.

In short, don't burn your bridges like that. You just don't know what will happen in the future.

I drafted a formal, professional survey for my exit interview with specific information about my problem employee to back up my claims because she was taking over my job when I left. And when I left that job, I left all my anger and resentment too. It was SO much healthier for me, and I could enjoy my new position without dwelling negatively on the past.

And now I barely remember any of these people's names. In the grand scheme of things, they don't matter one bit. People like that get their come-uppance one way or another.
ali120206 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Definitely don't send it. I would just walk out of there gracefully.

Unfortunately, in the working world we all come across those people that we can do without (and unfortunately, we're stuck with them). You never know when you'll come across them again and who they know in your industry.

You're the bigger person for just leaving the situation as is. Possibly, in your exit interview, you can mention to HR that someone has been difficult to deal with, maybe there have been other complaints about him.
jellybean1420 Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

You could always send one of those cartoon images to him that actually shows a man f*ucking himself!!!!!




BellaEyes Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Posted by jellybean1420

You could always send one of those cartoon images to him that actually shows a man f*ucking himself!!!!!






Good idea not to send it. But hey think of it this way you typed everything out that was bothering you and now you have got to feel alittle better right? That was good therapy. Just don't send it :)

Good luck sweetie
Naunie Posted:

Re: NWR: Need your an opinion on a letter I am sending to a manager I hate after I quit! (LONG)

Never a good idea to burn bridges. If you need to say something, vocalize it. By putting it in writing, and copying the whole organization, and then not being there to defend yourself, no good.
JMO, but the business world is very fluid, you never know when you may work with any of these people again.
Hope this helps, good luck either way!

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