NWR: Sharing

Original post by rojerono

Oct 01, 2006 03:21 PM

You know... 2 months ago I was hesitant to tell you all ANYTHING at all. Now I can't imagine NOT telling you almost EVERYTHING!

I have been very irritable and not so much myself lately. And it is partly due to some weird stuff happening in my life.

5 years ago my big sister passed away. She was diagnosed with breast cancer just before Thanksgiving and we buried her on Christmas Eve. My sisters and I were advised to get ourselves checked out immediately. I was still nursing my son - so I did not get a mammogram then. My son stopped nursing at 16 months - about when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd son! After another 16 months of nursing I went for my first mammogram and had to go back for a cone compression - they advised me to come back every 6 months at that point . I got very busy and never went back. That was December 2004.

About 2 weeks ago I noticed that I had some discharge from my right nipple. So I made an appointment with my OB/Gyn. Did you know they can do PAP smears of the breast? That's what he did on Thursday night. Then he gave me slips to see another doctor about my boobs. He also gave me a script for a bilateral mammogram and told me they were going to do a test where they put some sort of stuff in my boobs to illuminate the ducts and see if there are any blockages.

I am so scared. I have 2 little boys - but I know that this is an Indiscriminate disease.. my sister left a 4 year old behind. I can't tell my FH or my sisters or my friends how freaked out I am because I don't want them to be scared or nervous. But I am sooo tired of putting up this happy go lucky facade all the time. I don't want to be sick. And I really am not ready to die.

So anyway... I wanted to share. Because it feels good to say things that sometimes I am afraid to say out loud.

ETA: It really is probably nothing. I mean they are probably just doing all this stuff because of my sister. But I can't help being nervous...

AllJoy Posted: Oct 01, 2006 08:27 PM

Re: NWR: Sharing

Be positive, I'm sure all will be fine.

JeanineP2B Posted: Oct 01, 2006 08:40 PM

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I'm so sorry that you have to go through that

kitty1224 Posted: Oct 01, 2006 08:46 PM

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I kinda now how you feel, it runs in my family also, actually this past year I have heard of more than 5 people who have been diagnosed with cancer. I know that you feel scared especially with 2 kids, I have 1 and all I want is live long enough so that he can grow up and take care of himself. I know that you are scared, but stay strong for your and your children. I will pray for you and your family, hopefully it is nothing and if it serious you will pull thru, it is probably if anything in its early stage where they can do something. FMIL was diagnosed with breast cancer over 7 years ago, she battled it and she has won the battle for now. There is hope, just think positive and stay strong.

snydl40 Posted: Oct 01, 2006 11:13 PM

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You don't have to put up a facade. I personally, would tell my fh how scared I am. I'm sure your fh would help you deal with your fears. I am so sorry for your terrible loss-even though it was five years ago, I am sure the pain remains. You are in my prayers and I am sending you happy thoughts.

MyDay627 Posted: Oct 01, 2006 11:20 PM

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Understandable. You can always vent here. It's amazing that you are going through this and your fear is of not hurting or scaring your family.

mpalmer Posted: Oct 01, 2006 11:25 PM

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i'm so sorry that your going through this

Kerrycec Posted: Oct 01, 2006 11:34 PM

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We are all here for you!

utwo16 Posted: Oct 01, 2006 11:37 PM

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Be positive and everything will be alright in the end. I am praying for good news for you and your family

Michy Posted: Oct 01, 2006 11:47 PM

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I will say a prayer for you.

PegaLega Posted: Oct 02, 2006 01:17 AM

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My prayers and thoughts go out to you for this to be nothing!

Stay strong and think positive and everything will be ok. I understand where you are coming from not wanting to talk about it-but its not fair to you to keep it inside and not!

iffy Posted: Oct 02, 2006 02:02 AM

Re: NWR: Sharing

You must be very scared...there is nothing I can say to make that go away

Get those tests done ASAP, so you can either put your mind at ease, or do whatever it takes to make sure you stick around for a long time for those little boys.

You're in my thoughts & prayers.

Please let us know how the tests turn out. We'll all be here to celebrate with you, or support you every step of the way.