NWR upset/Major Venting

Sooo my day started off really nicely... my FH is being baptized/etc. tonight, and months ago he had told the deacon/leaders of his group that both myself and his Uncle were going to be his sponsors.

So weeks went past and the group never mentioned anything about the sponsors. One of his group leaders is also his sponsor. This morning he had rehearsal and she acted as his sponsor (which is fine), and the at the end he asked what myself and his Uncle were to do tonight.

The response was first 'If they are your sponsors, they should've been here.' Now, this was never mentioned to FH. Afterwards, the response continued to go on and say that only his Uncle can be his sponsor, because since I'm going to be his wife, we are going to have a 'different relationship.'

I am so annoyed and upset for many reasons. First, the obvious. I think they didn't want me to be his sponsor, so they just 'forgot' from the getgo. Second, the church he is being baptized at is MY church. I was baptized there as a baby almost 23 years ago, received all the sacraments, and attended school there for ten years. The deacon who decided this has been there for many five years tops.

I introduced FH to Catholocism, the Catholic Mass, and have taught him and helped him so much along the way. I should be entitled to stand up there with him tonight, but I'm not 'allowed.'

I am so angry and so filled with rage. From my post about Unitarianism a few days ago, obviously I've been shopping around for a new religion. This has certainly solidified that.

I am so offended and so angry that I won't be permitted to stand with FH tonight. I'll be there for FH tonight, but after that I am not stepping foot in a church again. God is Love, and this isn't Love.

FYI: The first time that FH went to Mass with his group, I went with him (because we always went to Mass together) and even though there was room in the pew, I was told 'He's coming with us now' basically, 'Don't sit with us.'

Sorry for all the rage, I am just SO angry.

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

im so sorry..i hope everything works out, and good luck tonight

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

sorry you have to deal with this. The catholic church is all about love and everyone being equal, no segregation and blah blah blah, but the church is usually the one who segregate's and the one who hates something the most...(did that make sense?!)
Just brush it off and let FH have his thing tonight. After that you can do with the church what you want...

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

I am so sorry. That's horrible. I am ALSO my FHs sponsor, and no one mentioned I shouldn't/couldn't be his sponsor, they all know we're getting married... it's no secret. I've been going to his RCIA classes for Lent, and we'll be going to the Vigil tonight, although, FH is getting confirmed at Pentacost (he's already been baptized).

I would definitely look for another church, that's not how you should be treated.

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

i am so sorry you had this experience but i am sure not every church acts the same way... i understand you being upset though

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

OMG, I would be just as mad. How insulting and embarassing for you that you cant be up there tonight. That's ridichoulous...dont mean to add more stress, but are you and him sure, you want to do this at this church tonight?

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

Sorry you are going through this. Good Luck tonight.

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

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Posted by Lorin

OMG, I would be just as mad. How insulting and embarassing for you that you cant be up there tonight. That's ridichoulous...dont mean to add more stress, but are you and him sure, you want to do this at this church tonight?

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He's worked really hard preparing and he really wants to be Catholic, so we're sure and I def want to support him tonight. But we are both rather angry, and I won't be setting foot in there again.

Thanks to you though and all the other girls, you're all so sweet

Re: NWR upset/Major Venting

Sure, good luck tonight hun!