NWR: Vent (Long, sorry)

I feel like today's everyone's day to vent ... seems like there have been a lot of them.

Anyhow, I am pretty upset about my job and just wanted to vent about it all to you girls. I do not think anyone else would understand.

I have worked for 2 years at a large online co on LI. Don't want to say which in case anyone from the co is on here. In July I began a new position with the co. I was offered after asking for a promotion and bneing told that although I might get it (I definitely deserved it), the person who really needed to approve it wasn't giving the signals that I was going to, and even if I did, it would probably just mean more money, not a change in duties. Who wants to just make more money doing the same things you've been doing? At first it would've been fine, probably, but I would have gotten bored after a few months, I'm sure.

So I took this new thing. I have no real experience in this area but was able to get my feet wet, so to speak, in my old position as we often worked with the guy who is now my boss. It sounded great: get to work in a temporary office that is in the same town as I live now, get to wear jeans almost everyday, very laid back, more money, and I get to learn something new, which everyone thought I'd be great at.

However ... it's turning out to be not as good. I am more of an office manager than what I was told, I do a lot of invoicing and have to learn all these accounting procedures that I had no intention of doing. Math was not my strong subject, and now I am responsible for the dept getting paid. Stressful. I am viewed by some people that my boss works with (in and out of the company) as not having a purpose, I think, or as a secretary - and while I am supposed to have real responsibilities, and coordinate a lot of what we do, I am often left out of email correspondences and out of the loop. Maybe this is because I really have no experience in the position, but regardless, if that is my job, people should respect it - and I feel that they are not. (My boss has had to tell one guy many times to include me on correspondence, and he very rarely does.)

To top it off - this same guy who refuses to include me in the goings on HUMILIATED me while we were working on a project, in front of clients and others. I was trying to help but apparently he thought I was trying to do his job and said, very loudly, 'Jenn, I'll do that.'

I feel like my boss is sensing some of this, but not much. I feel like I want to tell him how I feel, but part of me feels like it will sound like 'the girl who thinks no one likes her.' That's not it. I don't feel like I am needed very much, and I don't feel that I am thought of as someone they need to respect. My boss does respect me and thanks me all the time for what I do - but most of the time I am on LIW or looking for wedding things online, or looking for jobs :)

I also think I would get upset if I talked to him. I am very emotional. I would *hate* to cry in front of him.

I have hated almost every job I've had. I get bored easily, and it seems that every position I've had could really be a part time one. I don't know why this is. I was a journalism major and haven;t really used my degree. I feel like I should be a copyeditor or a proofreader - I *love* to edit people's letters, menus, street signs ... anything! I just love to make things sound better. I have found some jobs but am afraid to apply -- for one, FH doesn't want me to switch jobs, he thinks I should just stick it out and stay with my co until we move to NH (2 years). He thinks it will look bad that I keep switching jobs. (The longest I've held one is like 2 years 9 months) I worry aboutnthat a bit, but not as much as having a job I like.

The co I work for now requires you to work long hours certain times of the year and doesn't pay very well, so if I was going to look for something else, I'd want to leave - but maybe it would better for my resume to look for something else within the company??? I would love to work at a college or school district, editing their publications ....

To top it all off, I threw my back out on Sunday and it's still killing me. Nothing helps - heating pads, advil, doans, icy/hot patches .... sleeping is such a pain because laying down is when it hurts the most.

ANYHOW>>>> I know this is crazy long. Thank you to anyone who got through any part of it. I feel better now.