NWR.....Sorry its kind of long

I never post anything personal on here...Just always about wedding stuff but I just have to I guess vent and see if there is anyone out there in the same boat as me.
Okay (this may be a little long and I apologize). FH and I bought a house together last year.....,we been in the house for 1year and 2 months already. Got engaged 2 months after we got the house. We were doing fine with bills and stuff and then we started booking wedding things and leaving a deposit here and there etc etc. FH takes a pay cut at work to become a Steam Fitter (not quite sure what that is but hes now in the Union and after 5 years they make like $45 an hour or something). He works OT occasionally so that makes his check what he used to take home. Okay fine.......So Im paying bills today and I have a major breakdown. I was writing with a pencil and I got so frustrated with all these bills that are on the desk, I slammed it and it broke. The I started to cry. FH came in and I was like whats the matter....So I tell him nothing and hes like oh you just break pencils and cry for no reason. So I showed him the stack of bills and the amount of money in out Accounts. I think the only bill I pay the entire amount is the Mortgage (and the smaller bills like phone, cable etc)
He sits next to me and tells me not to stress over the $$ situation and that we're okay....blah blah blah. He said that he'll go into his 401K in december (he took out some $$ for the house and is done paying it off then so we can take out a loan again) and pay off all the bills and then put the rest in a seperate account for wedding or emergencies. I have to say that 80% of the bills are like 'house' things...Home Depot, Lowes, and then Misc things like Furnature and this and that.

If there is anyone out there in a similar situation can you let me know (or FM me). I think I might need someone to 'vent' to from time to time (as a counseling type thing)

Thanks for the time and sorry again it was so long

I'm sorry youre feeling stressed. It sounds like you have an AWESOME FH!!! We also had money troubles but we worked it out. and it will work out for you too! Honestly its awesome that you have a house! We arent really able to afford one yet. Your fiance sounds like he has a plan in mind. Just work together and keep talking it out with him rather than taking it on by yourself

you can FM me anytime!!! I have a breakdown on a monthly basis when i go to pay the bills... i just get so frustrated if feel like crying..imjust not used to things being so tight... and DH is sitting here telling me that he wants to replace the lawn with sod this spring

You've got an FM

Before we bought the house and I was living at home and if I used my credit card, that whole thing would be paid off when it came in. Its a HUGE difference now and I think it will be better (hopefully) after the wedding when we have less to save for and pay??

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Posted by woobie113007

Before we bought the house and I was living at home and if I used my credit card, that whole thing would be paid off when it came in. Its a HUGE difference now and I think it will be better (hopefully) after the wedding when we have less to save for and pay??

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Oh gosh it waws awesome after the wedding! It was amazing to actually have SOME left over after bills! Once the wedding is over you'll be fine

I think we are all in the same boat. I know how you feel. There was a point where I wanted to leave the island because I felt like it was just too expensive to live here. My Dh and I bought a home that we love, but we had to make concessions - we live about an hour from where we work - but we carpool and try to make it work.

Perhaps you can cut down on the 'home' purchases. I also only shop in my comfort level - I HATE debt, so we end up doing home improvements extremely slowly. We are living with the same ugly carpet that was here from the prior home owners, and most of our rooms are not decorated or very furnished. It helps with the bills when you take things slow, and makes you appreciate what you manage to get done. HTH

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Posted by Ronkonkomonga

I think we are all in the same boat. I know how you feel. There was a point where I wanted to leave the island because I felt like it was just too expensive to live here. My Dh and I bought a home that we love, but we had to make concessions - we live about an hour from where we work - but we carpool and try to make it work.

Perhaps you can cut down on the 'home' purchases. I also only shop in my comfort level - I HATE debt, so we end up doing home improvements extremely slowly. We are living with the same ugly carpet that was here from the prior home owners, and most of our rooms are not decorated or very furnished. It helps with the bills when you take things slow, and makes you appreciate what you manage to get done. HTH

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The thing is the house we bought.....How can I say....Um, reminds me of the Brady Bunch house......the woman was like 85 and didnt update ANYTHING.....so we needed new windows, doors, this that.....Things that were 'MUST HAVE's'.

I can totally comiserate with you.. ive had at least 4 major $ related breakdowns in the past year since we've been engaged.. u are a step ahead of me.. u have a house!
our rent money which = a mortagage would be just goes to our landlord... u have a house its a major investment! the bills may seem overwhelming now but look at it in the big picture.. a year away from now they will all calm down... you'll stop putting deposits, evertying will be close to paid off or paid off in full , you can start to pay down cc's then ....
i totally had oodles of bills cleaned them all up like 3 years ago.. now im back to not having the ablity to pay off my cc every month while putting $ away for wedding stuff... at first it made me freak out but i realized thats what credits for... (not long term) but in a year u will be ok in a year.... the wedding will be over and bills all paid! until then you have to just pay the necessitys in full (mortgage, cable, etc... ) and manage the balance of the money to pay for weddding stuff AND cc's etc....

im here anytime u want to chat...feel free to FM and vent anytime

C

FH sounds awesome!! Don't worry Nancy It will all work itself out. FH and I bought a house and it's tough. He is laid off right now- also in the union- so he actually collects more money than if he was working. But he just completed his apprentice last year. So things will get better. I'm paying for the wedding all on my own and he is paying for the HM. But still, there are lots of bills to pay so I can totally understand your frustration. I'm really scared that we may not have enough money to pay the vendores. But I know in the end that we will. So many and if you ever want to vent or anything i'm always here to listen. FM me anytime!

oh yes, i too understand your frustration. i feel sick every month when i have to pay bills. we didn't even pay for our wedding by ourselves, and after it was over and all is said and done, we still have debt and have a hard time, barely even making it paycheck to paycheck. we look at our parents, who are both upper middle class and it's hard to realize that we're not in the same boat we were when we both lived at home. it's tough, but you get through it and hopefully, it will only get easier. i'm here if you ever need to vent

Im sorry i cant say that we are in the same boat-I can say that I could throw myself off a bridge when it comes to paying bills.

Your FH sounds like an awesome person to try to make you feel better about the situation, I know it doesnt sound like much right now, but you will pay the bills and everything will be ok, with the wedding bills Im sure it doesnt help.

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Posted by N.Y.bride

I'm sorry youre feeling stressed. It sounds like you have an AWESOME FH!!! We also had money troubles but we worked it out. and it will work out for you too! Honestly its awesome that you have a house! We arent really able to afford one yet. Your fiance sounds like he has a plan in mind. Just work together and keep talking it out with him rather than taking it on by yourself

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We can't afford a house either, plus we are in the same financial situation you are in without the mortgage - if you can afford a house, you'll be ok! DH has 2 kids from a previous marriage, and we have a baby on the way, plus we need to find a new home to rent before the baby comes!!!



Good luck!

$$ is so stressful. I opened up an ING account that automatically takes money from my checking account as a way of forcing myself to save. When I ABSOLUTELY need it, I dip into to it. FH is a much better saver, I have a hard time resisting things on sale!!! Weddings are so costly, once its over, you will feel much better. Don't freak out, everything will work out. Things are crazy now that the holidays are here, clip your coupons!!

You're not alone. I think I have a monthly freak out about money, esp when we go looking at houses.

I'm sorry to hear you have so much stress. Don't feel that you're alone, FH and I are paying for our own wedding and we are spread so thin right now. He has to take care of all the bills because I can't look at them without freaking out. I feel blessed that I have him. He's the bread winner right now, I'm in school and I only work 2 days a week and I have never been this poor, he's really been helping out but I have noticed he's been getting migraines on a weekly basis since we started wedding planning. We've taken out loans to pay for everything, tuition, mortgage, wedding stuff, it really is such a stressful time. So please don't think you're alone in all this, a lot of girls on here are in the same boat