Occasional spying on your SO is okay, even healthy...

Yes or no?

What level of 'spying' or checking up on your SO is acceptable (if any), what is serious trust issues, and what is borderline psycho:

Checking their cell phone for suspicious phone numbers

Cracking (or knowing their) Voice mail password and listening to their voicemails

Reading their E-mail

Checking their pockets

Following them or 'coincidentally' driving by or stopping by the place the are supposed to be

Any others? Any of these that you do on a regular basis?

None of the above.

I look at his receipts he leaves around ... mostly cause he leaves them around & I don't know what they are and am about to throw them away. They end up being work lunches ... no big mystery.


And I'm VERY nosy too. I think I used to nose around in his stuff way back in the day.

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Posted by JimmysBride



Following them or 'coincidentally' driving by or stopping by the place the are supposed to be

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Wow, that seems a bit like stalking to me...not spying. No, I don't do any of the above b/c I don't think it's necessary.

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Posted by JimmysBride

Yes or no?

What level of 'spying' or checking up on your SO is acceptable (if any), what is serious trust issues, and what is borderline psycho:

Checking their cell phone for suspicious phone numbers

Cracking (or knowing their) Voice mail password and listening to their voicemails

Reading their E-mail

Checking their pockets

Following them or 'coincidentally' driving by or stopping by the place the are supposed to be

Any others? Any of these that you do on a regular basis?

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I think none of it is acceptable... and anyone who does this has some serious trust issues going on.

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Posted by JimmysBride

Yes or no?

What level of 'spying' or checking up on your SO is acceptable (if any), what is serious trust issues, and what is borderline psycho:

Checking their cell phone for suspicious phone numbers

Cracking (or knowing their) Voice mail password and listening to their voicemails

Reading their E-mail

Checking their pockets

Following them or 'coincidentally' driving by or stopping by the place the are supposed to be

Any others? Any of these that you do on a regular basis?

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I don't do any of the above either -- I believe they are all serious trust issues, and that the 'following them coincidentally' one is borderline psycho

The only time I check his pockets is when I'm doing the laundry .. usually find some good cash in there

i don't do anyof those things and neither does he. if i'm on his computer, i may look at his email, but i know that i have nothing to worryy about and neither does he.

and as far as checking his pockets goes, all i'd find is lint, so it would be pointless.

The times I go thru DH's pockets is when I'm:

a) doing laundry

b) or I need money

ETA: the latter is with prior consent only.

I snoop because I am bothered by the other women in DH's life...his mom and his sister..

They drive me crazy

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Posted by Janice

I snoop because I am bothered by the other women in DH's life...his mom and his sister..

They drive me crazy

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So an overbearing mother and sister makes it ok to invade your SO's privacy?

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by JimmysBride

Yes or no?

What level of 'spying' or checking up on your SO is acceptable (if any), what is serious trust issues, and what is borderline psycho:

Checking their cell phone for suspicious phone numbers

Cracking (or knowing their) Voice mail password and listening to their voicemails

Reading their E-mail

Checking their pockets

Following them or 'coincidentally' driving by or stopping by the place the are supposed to be

Any others? Any of these that you do on a regular basis?

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I think none of it is acceptable... and anyone who does this has some serious trust issues going on.

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Ditto

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by Janice

I snoop because I am bothered by the other women in DH's life...his mom and his sister..

They drive me crazy

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So an overbearing mother and sister makes it ok to invade your SO's privacy?

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oh they are not overbearing..they are criminals and con artist always looking for the next buck..

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Posted by Janice

oh they are not overbearing..they are criminals and con artist always looking for the next buck..

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That still doesn't make it OK for you to be a snoop.... thats his problem and he should deal with it (regardless if you think he does an adequate job of dealing with it or not).

Just my two cents.

no need to spy for anything...I completely trust my honey...as he does me....we keep NOTHING from one another...

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by Janice

oh they are not overbearing..they are criminals and con artist always looking for the next buck..

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That still doesn't make it OK for you to be a snoop.... thats his problem and he should deal with it (regardless if you think he does an adequate job of dealing with it or not).

Just my two cents.

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Thanks, I def hear what you are saying. I just worry about DH, he knows I read his emails..I think he likes the fact that I do..I told him I will stop and he said no, it makes him feel less guilty about ignoring there pleas for money if I know about them and are ignoring them too I know you are suppose to take care of your family, but these people never give us a chance to get ahead. DH is a worrier..he worrys about money, their welfare..so I feel like if I know what he is dealing with that day it helps me deal with him..he is trying to seperate himself, at least financially from them.

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by JimmysBride

Yes or no?

What level of 'spying' or checking up on your SO is acceptable (if any), what is serious trust issues, and what is borderline psycho:

Checking their cell phone for suspicious phone numbers

Cracking (or knowing their) Voice mail password and listening to their voicemails

Reading their E-mail

Checking their pockets

Following them or 'coincidentally' driving by or stopping by the place the are supposed to be

Any others? Any of these that you do on a regular basis?

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I think none of it is acceptable... and anyone who does this has some serious trust issues going on.

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I actually agree with DJPill on this one (I think it's the second time ever)

I have DH's e-mail password, because there was a brief time when I could not figure out how to get into our work e-mail, and it was close to the wedding, and I wanted to give a few friends a way to reach me beyond the phone. But I don't check it ever.

Funny, when we were dating DH told me that he didn't care if I looked through his things. His mom and sister did it to him and he hated it. But I never had any desire to. Although I would not mind if he looked through my things either. I have nothing to hide.

Then again, following someone is creepy and so is checking their messages, etc.

FH and I know each other's email passwords, pincodes, etc. but we don't spy. When he was away at school at first I felt really insecure all the time for no reason, and I'd read his email. I don't know what drove me to do it, I never suspected anything bad, I just sort of wanted to feel close with him. It wasn't coming from a healthy or a good place though. I got angry once becausee FH read a card that my friend had sent me, and it was VERY personal. Since then we've learned to respect each other's privacy and are MUCH healthier for it.

I don't spy on my dh...but that doesn't mean I wouldn't. If I was suspicious about something, I would do my research to find the facts..

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Posted by jozieb0925

I don't spy on my dh...but that doesn't mean I wouldn't. If I was suspicious about something, I would do my research to find the facts..

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me too, i think. But I have no reason to be suspicious!