Official 08 married brides advice to future brides thread

I remember reading the 07 version of this where anyone who got married can post a bit of advice to pass along to the girls getting married after them. I found this so useful so I wanted to start our own.

I realize this will grow as time moves on since most people get married in the late spring/summer but I figured us girls who all ready tied the knot can share.

(posting my advice next)

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

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Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Tilde that was wonderful advice and you almost had me sitting here crying at my desk just thinking about my day when it finally comes!!! thank you!!!!

My advice:

Enjoy the planning, you'll miss it terribly.... I can't really say dont worry about little things while planning because you have to..but later on you realize that you just shouldnt have worried so much about little details....kind like you gotta go through it to know....but just try to enjoy it, youll never get to do it again

Dont go overboard with gifts for the bridal party, I went overboard and I just realized I didnt have to., invest in a nice gift for FH he'll appreciate it.

It really does go super fast., take moments throughout the day to just relax and soak in the moment.

If you really dont want a grand entrance go to your cocktail party, I think I should have although I wanted a grand entrance. The day went so quick, I hardly got a chance to see OOT guests.

Its really up to you....but I think I wasted a good 45 mintues going around to each table....i didnt even get a chance to go around to say hello to my guests there was no time, if you are having more than 200 guests you will be overwhelmed.

Dont drink alot., cuz you feel drunk even if you dont drink..your on cloud 9, you dont want to miss anything.

i can think of more later.........

---

Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Thanks Tilde! That was great!

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Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Thank you Matilde! You're advice seems so true.. it seems much easier said than done though

I look foward to reading everyone's advice

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Posted by Mizzdimple

My advice:

Enjoy the planning, you'll miss it terribly.... I can't really say dont worry about little things while planning because you have to..but later on you realize that you just shouldnt have worried so much about little details....kind like you gotta go through it to know....but just try to enjoy it, youll never get to do it again

Dont go overboard with gifts for the bridal party, I went overboard and I just realized I didnt have to., invest in a nice gift for FH he'll appreciate it.

It really does go super fast., take moments throughout the day to just relax and soak in the moment.

If you really dont want a grand entrance go to your cocktail party, I think I should have although I wanted a grand entrance. The day went so quick, I hardly got a chance to see OOT guests.

Its really up to you....but I think I wasted a good 45 mintues going around to each table....i didnt even get a chance to go around to say hello to my guests there was no time, if you are having more than 200 guests you will be overwhelmed.

Dont drink alot., cuz you feel drunk even if you dont drink..your on cloud 9, you dont want to miss anything.

i can think of more later.........

---

good advice - I SO do NOT want a grand entrance so I was hoping to go to my cocktail hour to avoid it.

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Tilde that was wonderful advice and you almost had me sitting here crying at my desk just thinking about my day when it finally comes!!! thank you!!!!

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I almost cried too!! it's great advice!!

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Posted by Mizzdimple

My advice:

Enjoy the planning, you'll miss it terribly.... I can't really say dont worry about little things while planning because you have to..but later on you realize that you just shouldnt have worried so much about little details....kind like you gotta go through it to know....but just try to enjoy it, youll never get to do it again

Dont go overboard with gifts for the bridal party, I went overboard and I just realized I didnt have to., invest in a nice gift for FH he'll appreciate it.

It really does go super fast., take moments throughout the day to just relax and soak in the moment.

If you really dont want a grand entrance go to your cocktail party, I think I should have although I wanted a grand entrance. The day went so quick, I hardly got a chance to see OOT guests.

Its really up to you....but I think I wasted a good 45 mintues going around to each table....i didnt even get a chance to go around to say hello to my guests there was no time, if you are having more than 200 guests you will be overwhelmed.

Dont drink alot., cuz you feel drunk even if you dont drink..your on cloud 9, you dont want to miss anything.

i can think of more later.........

---

Thanks. My mom says i'm going overboard with the BP gifts

this is great girls!! keep posting!!!

I am so glad i didnt go over board with the BP gifts ...i start to feel bad about it at time ....but then i come back to reality that I have 10 BM's!

thanks for the advice girls!

Before the wedding:

Realize it is one day and it is about you and FH and the joining of two families. Don't worry about if you don't spend 10k on flowers or 5k on invites that the marriage will not last. Honestly I found what you put in it and what your fh puts in it as far as what your personalities are is what really counts.

ORGANIZATION!!!! - key element to having a great wedding. Write lists, do spreadsheets, do postit notes whatever you need to make sure things are done when they need to be done.

DO NOT RELY ON EMAILS - don't email vendors - they typically do not answer you. Do not email family members because eventually they delete your emails before reading them. CALL them.

PICTURES are a thousand words - give vendors pictures of what you are thinking of, don't rely on their experience unless your getting a sample. The only vendor who actually pulled through with out giving pictures or knowing what something looked like was my dress shop (village bridal in babylon) my bolero was completely designed by the dress manufacturer and i had no clue until it came in what it looked like.

My cake on the other hand was a disaster but i didn't even say anything to anyone. I just hated one thing on it and even though I wrote specific instructions and gave pics it still was not what i wanted. Tasted great though!


GETTING MARRIED:

Take it all in! Everyone says but typically it gets forgotten. Make sure you know times and you time everything out of when things need to get done and when you need to move on to the next vendor/event.

Ex. Pictures - when vendors tell you a time they are showing to start make sure EVERYONE is dressed 15 mins before that time. My family didn't start till 15 mins before they showed so we had to cut time at my parents house.

Picture location - it may rain so therefore have three locations just in case. I had our main location which worked out because the rain held off but i had two other locations in case of bad weather. Photographers thanked me for that. Tell them all locations, addresses, etc.

Small stuff - don't even care - move on. MY BQ dropped when the delivery guy came to my parents house. It broke in areas and I had paid a service to preserve it so I FREAKED. They had new flowers for me at the CH and the bridal attendant fixed it. So don't care if stuff happens just move on.

Double check, triple check and check again - all vendors go over everything a month before, a few weeks before and then the week of. Vendors are as good as their notes and if they didn't take good notes thing go wrong. So make sure all parties are on the same page.

Photographs again - your going to miss that one shot with a family member and you will never hear the end of it from someone. Make sure you have a check list and if you don't get to it before or after ceremony make sure you get to it.

TAKE PICTURES BEFORE CEREMONY - it helps so much!


PEOPLE
Make sure everyone knows what is expected of them and costs involved when asking them to be bp. I had one bm that would of slit my throat if i didn't ask her but in the end she couldn't really afford to buy the dress, do hair and makeup etc. Her mother had to help her out and it was stupid. She picked the $$$ dress out, she wanted hair and makeup done so instead of cutting costs there she cut costs out elsewhere that affected me (another story).

FH - he will fight you on the little stuff you buy for the wedding to keep you in check with the budget. Great - that is his job. BUT if you invision something and this is going to help it or be a completely important part of it DO IT and buy it!


Final words: Yea i made this lengthly but it helps! Make sure you do dance, make sure you do talk to people but realize that its your day and fh's day so both of you do what you enjoy (hang out, dance, drink at the bar, talk to guests whatever you two like). Know that you don't need to be attached at the hip with your fh at your wedding. IF i stood with fh all night i would of not had a great time. He doesn't dance so i did with my guests and everyone said how much fun i had. Fh likes to sit and talk to people and drink so that is what he did.

Make sure you realize and hold it in you - that you can spend a ton of money on anything but it doesn't mean your wedding is going to be the best or the most amazing event ever. We didn't spend that much - we got good deals (we spent what we could afford and honestly it was a lot of money to us but in NY/LI weddings it was inexpensive) and EVERYONE (even the filthy rich people we had at our wedding who have gone to really $$$$ weddings) said we had a better wedding by far because of what we put in it emotionally and how we considered ourselves and our guests. Always taste you food before you book we had AMAZING food people rave about it still. SO food = happy people.


Thats it - hope it helps.

more practical advice:

* i wish i had done the slipper baskets!

*make a list with all the vendors on it with their numbers. also include your numbers and the BMs and MOHs - distribute to both sides

*make a schedule for the day of and also distribute to both sides

*i went to my cocktail hour and loved it! i didnt really eat there but i chatted with EVERYONE!

* go around to the tables, you dont want to think 'omg i didnt even SEE that billy was there' later on. it did not take THAT much time and personally i think its rude not to. many people commented on how much they appreciated that i sat down with every single table there. i did our friends last bc i knew they would understand if i didnt make it to them ( i did ) and i knew i would take hte longest with them ( i did LOL)

*if anyone is on the fence about inviting kids - i am so glad i did, they really made the wedding more enjoyable! AND they were well behaved and its so great hearing them talk about it to this day.

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Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Wonderful advice! Thank you so much for sharing that.....i'm sorry about the prank calls, do you have any idea of who did that? That's so irritating!

---

Posted by Mizzdimple

My advice:

Enjoy the planning, you'll miss it terribly.... I can't really say dont worry about little things while planning because you have to..but later on you realize that you just shouldnt have worried so much about little details....kind like you gotta go through it to know....but just try to enjoy it, youll never get to do it again

Dont go overboard with gifts for the bridal party, I went overboard and I just realized I didnt have to., invest in a nice gift for FH he'll appreciate it.

It really does go super fast., take moments throughout the day to just relax and soak in the moment.

If you really dont want a grand entrance go to your cocktail party, I think I should have although I wanted a grand entrance. The day went so quick, I hardly got a chance to see OOT guests.

Its really up to you....but I think I wasted a good 45 mintues going around to each table....i didnt even get a chance to go around to say hello to my guests there was no time, if you are having more than 200 guests you will be overwhelmed.

Dont drink alot., cuz you feel drunk even if you dont drink..your on cloud 9, you dont want to miss anything.

i can think of more later.........

---

Wow, that's really good advice, I never thoguht about the drinking part because you already feel drunk that makes so much sense..

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Posted by WinterBride08

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Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Wonderful advice! Thank you so much for sharing that.....i'm sorry about the prank calls, do you have any idea of who did that? That's so irritating!

---

unfortuntately i knew who it was THAT night - a family member with a very bad drinking problem . . .that was why i didnt take the phone off the hook right away i wasnt sure if he was calling bc he needed help or to play a trick on me. turns out he was trying to call someone else and could only remember our number

i let it go on for almost an hour before i just gave up.

---

Posted by nifheim

Before the wedding:

Realize it is one day and it is about you and FH and the joining of two families. Don't worry about if you don't spend 10k on flowers or 5k on invites that the marriage will not last. Honestly I found what you put in it and what your fh puts in it as far as what your personalities are is what really counts.

ORGANIZATION!!!! - key element to having a great wedding. Write lists, do spreadsheets, do postit notes whatever you need to make sure things are done when they need to be done.

DO NOT RELY ON EMAILS - don't email vendors - they typically do not answer you. Do not email family members because eventually they delete your emails before reading them. CALL them.

PICTURES are a thousand words - give vendors pictures of what you are thinking of, don't rely on their experience unless your getting a sample. The only vendor who actually pulled through with out giving pictures or knowing what something looked like was my dress shop (village bridal in babylon) my bolero was completely designed by the dress manufacturer and i had no clue until it came in what it looked like.

My cake on the other hand was a disaster but i didn't even say anything to anyone. I just hated one thing on it and even though I wrote specific instructions and gave pics it still was not what i wanted. Tasted great though!


GETTING MARRIED:

Take it all in! Everyone says but typically it gets forgotten. Make sure you know times and you time everything out of when things need to get done and when you need to move on to the next vendor/event.

Ex. Pictures - when vendors tell you a time they are showing to start make sure EVERYONE is dressed 15 mins before that time. My family didn't start till 15 mins before they showed so we had to cut time at my parents house.

Picture location - it may rain so therefore have three locations just in case. I had our main location which worked out because the rain held off but i had two other locations in case of bad weather. Photographers thanked me for that. Tell them all locations, addresses, etc.

Small stuff - don't even care - move on. MY BQ dropped when the delivery guy came to my parents house. It broke in areas and I had paid a service to preserve it so I FREAKED. They had new flowers for me at the CH and the bridal attendant fixed it. So don't care if stuff happens just move on.

Double check, triple check and check again - all vendors go over everything a month before, a few weeks before and then the week of. Vendors are as good as their notes and if they didn't take good notes thing go wrong. So make sure all parties are on the same page.

Photographs again - your going to miss that one shot with a family member and you will never hear the end of it from someone. Make sure you have a check list and if you don't get to it before or after ceremony make sure you get to it.

TAKE PICTURES BEFORE CEREMONY - it helps so much!


PEOPLE
Make sure everyone knows what is expected of them and costs involved when asking them to be bp. I had one bm that would of slit my throat if i didn't ask her but in the end she couldn't really afford to buy the dress, do hair and makeup etc. Her mother had to help her out and it was stupid. She picked the $$$ dress out, she wanted hair and makeup done so instead of cutting costs there she cut costs out elsewhere that affected me (another story).

FH - he will fight you on the little stuff you buy for the wedding to keep you in check with the budget. Great - that is his job. BUT if you invision something and this is going to help it or be a completely important part of it DO IT and buy it!


Final words: Yea i made this lengthly but it helps! Make sure you do dance, make sure you do talk to people but realize that its your day and fh's day so both of you do what you enjoy (hang out, dance, drink at the bar, talk to guests whatever you two like). Know that you don't need to be attached at the hip with your fh at your wedding. IF i stood with fh all night i would of not had a great time. He doesn't dance so i did with my guests and everyone said how much fun i had. Fh likes to sit and talk to people and drink so that is what he did.

Make sure you realize and hold it in you - that you can spend a ton of money on anything but it doesn't mean your wedding is going to be the best or the most amazing event ever. We didn't spend that much - we got good deals (we spent what we could afford and honestly it was a lot of money to us but in NY/LI weddings it was inexpensive) and EVERYONE (even the filthy rich people we had at our wedding who have gone to really $$$$ weddings) said we had a better wedding by far because of what we put in it emotionally and how we considered ourselves and our guests. Always taste you food before you book we had AMAZING food people rave about it still. SO food = happy people.


Thats it - hope it helps.

---

Wonderful advice!

More:

If you have a bridal party from hell you may want to go OUT and get ur hair done, you may not want them there early all day in your house getting ready., they may get to you and make you miserable.

Dont drink before church (like all day) I was drinking all day and I think the alcohol made my feelings mulitply and I was kinda freakin out when I got to the church from my nerves

Im also very glad I had my kiddies there., although it wasnt a thought not to have them there.

Try to be early., when the photographer came, my hair was set in curlers and my sister was not even made up yet., and they were like um...you both need to be ready. Tell your hair lady they photographers will be there a bit early then they actually are.

It is truly about you and FH., Many couples try to 'Please everyone' but the wedding should reflect you and FH., all of my guests were not greek., but when the greek music came on they loved it, it was like a show to them, some even joined in the dancing..it reflects on the both of you.
And vice versa for the american and spanish music!

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by WinterBride08

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Posted by ant n tilde

From the moment you wake up on your wedding day you have a CHOICE as to what kind of bride you will be. You can be the bride that cried when her flowers were late, the bride that screamed at her mother, the bride who hyperventilated into a paper bag *OR* you can be the bride that everyone remembers as smiling, happy and calm.

Even with my anxiety disorder I was the happiest and calmest I have ever been. I made a DECISION to do that. Someone pranked my house non stop the night before my wedding beginning at 2AM. Normally I would have cried and it would have ruined everything. Instead, I took the phone off the hook and totally forgot about it.

I went to bed early, woke up when I felt like it and then took an hour long shower. Don't worry - your hair and makeup people will know when to fit you in so TAKE YOUR TIME. Let your vendors take care of everything. I was a guest at my own wedding and I did not do a thing once I stepped foot in my hall.

Enjoy yourself, look at your husband a million times and squeeze his hand. Smile. Dance with just him no matter who tries to pull you away. Get down on the floor and dance with the babies. Do a shot with your girls. Sit with the older people in your family and make sure they know you are happy they came.

In the end all you have is memories so make sure they are beautiful ones. No one will remember if your flowers were wrong BUT they will remember if you freaked out about it.

---

Wonderful advice! Thank you so much for sharing that.....i'm sorry about the prank calls, do you have any idea of who did that? That's so irritating!

---

unfortuntately i knew who it was THAT night - a family member with a very bad drinking problem . . .that was why i didnt take the phone off the hook right away i wasnt sure if he was calling bc he needed help or to play a trick on me. turns out he was trying to call someone else and could only remember our number

i let it go on for almost an hour before i just gave up.

---

Oh nooo! Ugggh, there's one in every family I'm glad you didn't let it bother you