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~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~

Original post by jsta76

Since Michelle mentioned there is no official list I figured we could start one. If anyone has any questions/concerns/comments, feel free to ask.

I know there is the mainstream checklist out there but I'm trying to figure out what else we might need for a religious ceremony. I know there is so many things and I don't want to forget anything.

Rabbi/Cantor
Talit
Hebrew names
Kiddush cup
White wine (so you don't spill on dress)
Chupah
Kippahs (yarmulke)/clips/bobbie pins
Ketubah
Glass , bag and some kind of keepsake
Plain wedding band
Challah
Broom or flowered headpiece for mazhinka
Benchers (prayer books)
Vows

Am I forgetting anything?

Here's a pretty good site I found also.

Link

I will update the list if anyone thinks of something I might be forgetting. I figured this would be good for future reference.

Another idea to add to our list, where are you getting everything?

***********************UPDATE**********************
Ok so we met with our rabbi today ...it was an ummmm interesting experience since he has NO clue who I am but I digress. We had no idea what to expect and FH kept on asking me if it would be like the Robin Williams movie License to Wed LMOA.

He suggested us both 'borrowing' rings from family members because it would make them feel inlcluded which was a really nice thought.

Something to keep in mind that we didn't know about...you need to have ALL Hebrew names, myself, FH. my parents and FIL's. Also, our witness's including their fathers.

He requested 2 kiddush cups but i'm not certain why.

Oh and he talked about the auf ruf (no clue how to spell). When I talked to my parents they said that wanted to host one so that will happen the Friday before the wedding.

Something else I learned was that we could write our own vows! I didn't think that was even possible. It's not something i've really seen t other weddings. Unfortunately FH doesn't want to do it.

Plus everything else on this list as well.
jsta76 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

Wow this thread is nice!

We had met with our rabbi a few times over and he didn't say anything regarding kiddish cups and kosher wine until yesterday (mind you I have 19 days to go for my wedding). We're borrowing the cups from FH's mother- she happened to have two.. FH is going to buy kosher wine but (as much as I love our Rabbi) he said it's got to be red!

I was like 'is he kidding'! The Rabbi we have is Orthodox but is Rabbi of a conservative temple so he's kind of bending the rules for a few things.

Anyhow otherwise we got pretty much everything else we need- the ketubah is the one the rabbi is supplying for us- it's very pretty and I'm happy I don't have to spend more $$ for it.



We couldn't figure out why we needed 2 kiddush cups....any ideas?
SB7308 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by jsta76


Posted by SB7308

Try Yussels Place in Merrick (if its near you). They were very helpful when we went. I think thats where we will order from.



We're hoping to get everything figured out soon andd unfortunately Merricks too far by the time I get out of work, they probably wouldn't be open. If we could wait i'd definetely check it out.

The only places closer to us are Chai and Mazel and Zion Lion.


Yea Chai & Mazel was recommened to me but its too far.
Good luck, i'm sure you will be able to get it in time!
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by jsta76


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

Wow this thread is nice!

We had met with our rabbi a few times over and he didn't say anything regarding kiddish cups and kosher wine until yesterday (mind you I have 19 days to go for my wedding). We're borrowing the cups from FH's mother- she happened to have two.. FH is going to buy kosher wine but (as much as I love our Rabbi) he said it's got to be red!

I was like 'is he kidding'! The Rabbi we have is Orthodox but is Rabbi of a conservative temple so he's kind of bending the rules for a few things.

Anyhow otherwise we got pretty much everything else we need- the ketubah is the one the rabbi is supplying for us- it's very pretty and I'm happy I don't have to spend more $$ for it.



We couldn't figure out why we needed 2 kiddush cups....any ideas?



My guess is one for the bride and one for the groom but idk... I just really am scared of my gown that it's going to be red (as apposed) to white wine atm..that is just freaking me out a bit.
SB7308 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by DGoldfarb0776


Posted by jsta76


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

Wow this thread is nice!

We had met with our rabbi a few times over and he didn't say anything regarding kiddish cups and kosher wine until yesterday (mind you I have 19 days to go for my wedding). We're borrowing the cups from FH's mother- she happened to have two.. FH is going to buy kosher wine but (as much as I love our Rabbi) he said it's got to be red!

I was like 'is he kidding'! The Rabbi we have is Orthodox but is Rabbi of a conservative temple so he's kind of bending the rules for a few things.

Anyhow otherwise we got pretty much everything else we need- the ketubah is the one the rabbi is supplying for us- it's very pretty and I'm happy I don't have to spend more $$ for it.



We couldn't figure out why we needed 2 kiddush cups....any ideas?



My guess is one for the bride and one for the groom but idk... I just really am scared of my gown that it's going to be red (as apposed) to white wine atm..that is just freaking me out a bit.


ME 2!!! Jokingly I told my father i'm not having red wine, i'll put white wine it I'm sure i'll loose this battle.
We are having one kiddish kup. Arent you supposed to drink out of the same one?
Munchkn16 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by SB7308

Try Yussels Place in Merrick (if its near you). They were very helpful when we went. I think thats where we will order from.



We got our ketubah and yamulkes there. HUGE slections for both. The service was great and everything came in really quickly.
Munchkn16 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by jsta76


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

Wow this thread is nice!

We had met with our rabbi a few times over and he didn't say anything regarding kiddish cups and kosher wine until yesterday (mind you I have 19 days to go for my wedding). We're borrowing the cups from FH's mother- she happened to have two.. FH is going to buy kosher wine but (as much as I love our Rabbi) he said it's got to be red!

I was like 'is he kidding'! The Rabbi we have is Orthodox but is Rabbi of a conservative temple so he's kind of bending the rules for a few things.

Anyhow otherwise we got pretty much everything else we need- the ketubah is the one the rabbi is supplying for us- it's very pretty and I'm happy I don't have to spend more $$ for it.



We couldn't figure out why we needed 2 kiddush cups....any ideas?



not sure why we would need two... but if I can't find ones we like/can afford, i'd borrow one from FMIL and one from my parents.
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by SB7308


Posted by DGoldfarb0776


Posted by jsta76


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

Wow this thread is nice!

We had met with our rabbi a few times over and he didn't say anything regarding kiddish cups and kosher wine until yesterday (mind you I have 19 days to go for my wedding). We're borrowing the cups from FH's mother- she happened to have two.. FH is going to buy kosher wine but (as much as I love our Rabbi) he said it's got to be red!

I was like 'is he kidding'! The Rabbi we have is Orthodox but is Rabbi of a conservative temple so he's kind of bending the rules for a few things.

Anyhow otherwise we got pretty much everything else we need- the ketubah is the one the rabbi is supplying for us- it's very pretty and I'm happy I don't have to spend more $$ for it.



We couldn't figure out why we needed 2 kiddush cups....any ideas?



My guess is one for the bride and one for the groom but idk... I just really am scared of my gown that it's going to be red (as apposed) to white wine atm..that is just freaking me out a bit.


ME 2!!! Jokingly I told my father i'm not having red wine, i'll put white wine it I'm sure i'll loose this battle.
We are having one kiddish kup. Arent you supposed to drink out of the same one?



Idk why two - the rabbi didn't tell us why but he said that we need two kiddish cups... FH just bought the wine and his glass (and I think one to practice breaking ) today.. it's red wine but the rabbi said he'll ensure that I don't spill... I hope and pray after spending $2,000 on a gown that I love that it doesn't happen.

Also we're borrowing the kiddish cups from his parents- for some reason they happen to have two kiddish cups.
Nechama1 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~

to answer some q's...just joined so not going to attempt to look stupid trying to quote people and it not working !!

as for a ketubah- the rabbi may be picky about it b/c the document indicates your 'maiden' status as a 'betulah', a virgin.
your rabbi may just want to ensure that your document doesnt indicate anything that isnt true...and some say that it doesnt matter anymore b/c 'betulah' just refers to a legal status as an umarried woman...

the reason for the two wine cups is that one wine cup represents your old family, and one represents the new family that is being formed at this ceremony.

oh and make sure your photographer knows that glass will be broken, have him capture it... i love the picture w/ the groom's foot breaking the glass!
roan126 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by Nechama1

to answer some q's...just joined so not going to attempt to look stupid trying to quote people and it not working !!

as for a ketubah- the rabbi may be picky about it b/c the document indicates your 'maiden' status as a 'betulah', a virgin.
your rabbi may just want to ensure that your document doesnt indicate anything that isnt true...and some say that it doesnt matter anymore b/c 'betulah' just refers to a legal status as an umarried woman...

the reason for the two wine cups is that one wine cup represents your old family, and one represents the new family that is being formed at this ceremony.

oh and make sure your photographer knows that glass will be broken, have him capture it... i love the picture w/ the groom's foot breaking the glass!



Interesting info about the 2 glasses of wine! Never knew that
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by roan126


Posted by Nechama1

to answer some q's...just joined so not going to attempt to look stupid trying to quote people and it not working !!

as for a ketubah- the rabbi may be picky about it b/c the document indicates your 'maiden' status as a 'betulah', a virgin.
your rabbi may just want to ensure that your document doesnt indicate anything that isnt true...and some say that it doesnt matter anymore b/c 'betulah' just refers to a legal status as an umarried woman...

the reason for the two wine cups is that one wine cup represents your old family, and one represents the new family that is being formed at this ceremony.

oh and make sure your photographer knows that glass will be broken, have him capture it... i love the picture w/ the groom's foot breaking the glass!



Interesting info about the 2 glasses of wine! Never knew that



Wow that did answer my questions about the two kiddish cups!

Speaking of which Amazing Savings in Cedarhurst has them pretty inexpensive if you ladies still need them- I got two yesterday for $7.99 each and they are silver.
CC11208 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~

I just read the new posts about kiddush cups and specific ketubah wording. Thanks to all who posted!!

I was raised both Catholic & Jewish, plus I'm part Italian/Sicilian, what my sister calls 'pizza bagel.' Coincidentally, FH is also Jewish/Italian, and we're having a Jewish ceremony with a reform rabbi. I officially converted to Judaism while in college (orthodox conversion, conservative congregation) but I'm VERY secular. So there are so many things I'm still learning, and I'm finding this thread extremely helpful!!

Thanks again!!!
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by CC11208

I just read the new posts about kiddush cups and specific ketubah wording. Thanks to all who posted!!

I was raised both Catholic & Jewish, plus I'm part Italian/Sicilian, what my sister calls 'pizza bagel.' Coincidentally, FH is also Jewish/Italian, and we're having a Jewish ceremony with a reform rabbi. I officially converted to Judaism while in college (orthodox conversion, conservative congregation) but I'm VERY secular. So there are so many things I'm still learning, and I'm finding this thread extremely helpful!!

Thanks again!!!



I'm glad that we're all getting something out of this thread- My FFIL was not Jewish but he and his parents converted- they're Italian as well so that makes FH and Italian Jew as well.
DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~

I have an update on the two kiddish cups:

1 is for the bride and groom to drink from the other 1 is for the rabbi to do a blessing with.

I finally solved the mystery when I got married...
SB7308 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I have an update on the two kiddish cups:

1 is for the bride and groom to drink from the other 1 is for the rabbi to do a blessing with.

I finally solved the mystery when I got married...


Did you buy the 2nd one or did the Rabbi have it?

Thanks for clarifying!
roan126 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by SB7308


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I have an update on the two kiddish cups:

1 is for the bride and groom to drink from the other 1 is for the rabbi to do a blessing with.

I finally solved the mystery when I got married...


Did you buy the 2nd one or did the Rabbi have it?

Thanks for clarifying!




Interesting. I did speak to my rabbi, and he did say we def. need two. I am going to use my parent and my sisters from their weddings
SB7308 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by roan126


Posted by SB7308


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I have an update on the two kiddish cups:

1 is for the bride and groom to drink from the other 1 is for the rabbi to do a blessing with.

I finally solved the mystery when I got married...


Did you buy the 2nd one or did the Rabbi have it?

Thanks for clarifying!




Interesting. I did speak to my rabbi, and he did say we def. need two. I am going to use my parent and my sisters from their weddings


I'm going to ask my Rabbi. Great I have to get another one now
bonch20 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~

oh, i'm so happy there's a place in merrick!!!! thanks ladies!!!

DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by SB7308


Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I have an update on the two kiddish cups:

1 is for the bride and groom to drink from the other 1 is for the rabbi to do a blessing with.

I finally solved the mystery when I got married...


Did you buy the 2nd one or did the Rabbi have it?

Thanks for clarifying!



Not a problem since we were all wondering.

I bought two identical kiddish cups over at Amazing Savings in Cedarhurst- they both were like $7 each!

I figured I can pass them down to my children when we have them.
roan126 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~

Wow- lotsa confusion about kiddush cups amongst us Jewish gals!

jessnstu08 Posted:

Re: ~*~*~*~Ofiicial 08 jewish brides//Checklist~*~*~*~


Posted by roan126

Wow- lotsa confusion about kiddush cups amongst us Jewish gals!




Yes ! AND I am still confused why we HAVE to use red wine??? my rabbi is pretty reformed ,so maybe using white won't be an issue

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