I was just showing FH some sample mock ups of our invitations and the designer in her samples put my parents as hosts on them, which i was thinking of doing anyways cause its tradition and they are helping out alot. Well FH saw that and was like 'I dont know about having your parents as 'hosts'.. even though your parents are paying for the invites, were paying for the hall....'..
HELLOO My parents are paying for ALL of our VENDORS!! They are shelling out well over 10K.. His parents gave NOTHING so far and have only agreed to pay for their 35 friends to come to the wedding (whom i dont want there) and the rehersal dinner. Without my parents help there would be no fancy wedding at all since we can barely afford to pay for the hall ourselves and might even have to borrow money from my parents for the honeymoon. Im just so pissed that he can take and take from my parents but he doesnt even want to honor them on the invites...
Anyone else have this problem? And if so what was your solution.
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I am not in that situation at all fh was fine with me putting my parents on the invite they are helping to pay for the wedding fh's parents aren't giving us anything towards the wedding
wifetobe
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Find an article on line regarding wedding invite ettiquette and show it to him.. I'll look for one too...the one I saw says the person paying for it. but Im sure you can find something more specific.
If it still doesn't convince him maybe compromise and change it to 'together with their parents' or no names at all....Just you two..
Depending on how your family will feel.
Sunset Renee
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I decided to leave the parent's names off just to avoid any conflict! Um...Maybe he just doesn't like the word 'Host' Maybe you could say Mr.&Mrs. So and so request your presence (cant spell) at the marriage of their daughter etc..... I'm not really sure what to say about the financial thing...Is something else bothering him??
Good Luck!!
PS - Try Googling wording so maybe you guys can agree on something together!
deb08
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Posted by wifetobe
Find an article on line regarding wedding invite ettiquette and show it to him.. I'll look for one too...the one I saw says the person paying for it. but Im sure you can find something more specific.
If it still doesn't convince him maybe compromise and change it to 'together with their parents' or no names at all....Just you two..
Depending on how your family will feel.
good idea would def give this a try and see what he says
lisa50
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Neither of our parents paid for anything, they are just giving gifts. But to avoid all conflict, I put both of their names on it.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I put my mom's name and then his parents below it...
Mrs. My Mom and Mr. and Mrs. His Parents
I fought and fought and fought because like you - it is just the nice thing to do.
I didn't win, and it hurts me that I hurt my mom, but really - it's just an invitation. To this day I won't ever look at my in-laws the same way again.
It's a sore subject for me but in the end - it's about me and Alfonse, not about our parents...
I hate my invitation wording. Sorry you're having the same issue.
dajc23
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I'm going to send you FM!!
JulyBride728
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
We have the same issue more or less... FH's parents aren't really shelling out for anything else other than the extra guests they're inviting while me and FH are paying for most of the stuff and my mom is being a great help as well...on my invitation I worded the invitation this way:
Together with our parents, Ms. Jane Doe & Mr. John Doe request your honor blah blah blah blah blah....
Might not be something you'll agree to since your parents are helping out a great deal, but something u may want to consider if you'd like to avoid an argument with FH. hth
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I disagree sorry ... what we put on the invites was jessica and peter along with their parents mr & mrs....and mr and mrs.....
we are paying for the wedding ourselves but it is nice to do....
i think if i did it the other way around it would hurt both sides verrry much....
jmo
DavaDay
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
This is a tricky situation. I remember when we got our invites and decided on wording, the woman told us that often causes a lot of fights and a lot of bad blood between family members.
We just went the 'Together with our parents, Dava *** and Damian *** invite you to our wedding celebration...' route. My parents are helping out about 8K to 10K, his are helping out about 2K, and we're paying the GazillionK rest. Sure, my parents are contributing a lot more than his, but we didn't want to dishonor his parents by making it seem like mine are paying for everything, which they're not anyway - they're paying about one-fourth. And my parents didn't care that their names weren't on there, so it wasn't an issue.
HTH.
snwb08
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
I put my mom's name and then his parents below it...
Mrs. My Mom and Mr. and Mrs. His Parents
I fought and fought and fought because like you - it is just the nice thing to do.
I didn't win, and it hurts me that I hurt my mom, but really - it's just an invitation. To this day I won't ever look at my in-laws the same way again.
It's a sore subject for me but in the end - it's about me and Alfonse, not about our parents...
I hate my invitation wording. Sorry you're having the same issue.
wait so which did you want to do?
snwb08
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
i did
MY Name and His Name
together with their families.
we are paying for the wedding but everyone including parents and sisters are helping out so much in other ways; plus I feel like we're a little older so we should be the hosts of our own wedding.
My sisters all did it the way you are doing; they had both parents on their invites
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Posted by snwb08
wait so which did you want to do?
I wanted
Mrs. My Mom
then his parents would be named after
son of Mr. and Mrs. His Parents
I wanted my mom's name at the top - she's freaking dying - who knows if she'll get to host my sister's wedding so I thought it would be nice.
Nope. No way - his parents insisted that the names be put the other way.
edit: my mom's contributing twice what his parents are - we're paying the rest... (which is a lot)...
snwb08
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
Posted by snwb08
wait so which did you want to do?
I wanted
Mrs. My Mom
then his parents would be named after
son of Mr. and Mrs. His Parents
I wanted my mom's name at the top - she's freaking dying - who knows if she'll get to host my sister's wedding so I thought it would be nice.
Nope. No way - his parents insisted that the names be put the other way.
ugh, that s*cks, so sorry. seriously it's a nice gesture... I think people get wrapped up in how much did he pay vs. us.
Soon2BMrs.T
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I know what you are going though. What I did was put
Mr.& Mrs. Someone else ( your parents) and Mr. Mrs. Who Else ( his parents)
or what you can do is
Jane Doe the daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Someone Else
to
Johnny Fun the son of Mr. & Mrs. Who Else
I think you can take out the Host put. He is feeling that even though they are not contributing anything still kind of make them a part.
Bride908
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
Neither of our parents are contributing and I dont want to put both their names on the invites so we are putting together with our parents because I felt wrong not mentioning them in some way.. Even thought neither are contributing
bluekat16
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
we're paying for the wedding ourselves. At the end of the day my parent might contribute about $5K. We decided to put all parents on our invitations....we just felt it was the right thing to do.
bluegreen08
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
I personally prefer (brides parents) invite you to the wedding of their daughter (bride) and (groom) son of (grooms parents) but my parents really wanted it to just have their names on it. They are paying for almost everything; FH's parents are not contributing except for the rehearsal dinner.
I guess it's the traditional way and FH didn't care or say anything so we just put my parents names...
MikeandJess
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Re: Oh I am SOOO PISSED
similar situation. My parents were giving us money and his parents weren't giving anything so I wanted to put my parents names on the invites and he didn't feel comfortable with this. Since we made our own, we put my parents names on the invites going to their friends and family and together with their families for the invites going to FH's friends and family
