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OK - I got him to Agree on...

Original post by SeptWed

As you all know me and DH got invited to a Black Tie Sunday wedding at Oheka. My DH is friends with the father from work of the bride. We were going back and forth (okay fighting) about going (we have never met the daughter) and i was getting to the point of saying i am not going if you go out and rent a tuxedo (i have no long dresses and i am NOT going out to get one). Tonight we talked and after going back and forth (okay fighting) he finally agreed we would go and he would NOT wear a tuxedo.

HOWEVER...he said that if he was the only guy wearing a dark suit at this wedding he would walk out. I told him no way that would happen (from stories from this website).

Can anyone who has been to a 'black tie' wedding reaffirm my thoughts. I am going in a plain black dress (cocktail length) and him in a nice suit. I think we will be fine...anyone think that we are going to look stupid (and no i won't jump down anyones throat who thinks otherwise).
bethsiar Posted:

Re: OK - I got him to Agree on...

I'm inclined to wonder if there is something more here? Are you unhappy with his co-workers? or Job? Why would you want him to be the only one not in a tux? Even though you might not stick out and you may blend in with the guests, people will be taking notice if you work in an office.

From the brides point of view- if my wedding had been a black tie wedding and my dad's co-workers didnt wear a tux I would take it as disrespectful, like my wedding's not worth it- I know its petty but thats just what I would think.


ETA: More on your side, people from my Dad's office (like his PA) who didnt want to shell out the cash for my wedding just didnt go. I dont know if that helps or not, but I think we invited about 20 people from his job and maybe 4 went and those were his CFO and I cant even remember the others.

lullabella Posted:

Re: OK - I got him to Agree on...

I don't understand why you don't want him to rent a tux?

ETA: If the bride wanted to give you the choice of not wearing a tux she would have said 'black tie optional'. IMO he should wear a tux!
wendyz06 Posted:

Re: OK - I got him to Agree on...

I think people would prefer you to come to their wedding regardless if you wore a tux or a suit. A tuxedo in my opinion is not more respectable in any way. Going to a wedding is expensive enough. Some people cant afford to give a gift, get a hotel, and get new clothes. JMO

McSulllivan Posted:

Re: OK - I got him to Agree on...

I'm inclined to agree that if it's at Oheka, and the invitation says, 'Black Tie', that means a tux.

I agree with you though, about renting the tux. I wouldn't be inclined to do it. But that's just me. I don't really agree with the mandatory dress. I feel a wedding is about the people involved and not how the guests are dressed.

I would think, however, that not going to the wedding would make him more the subject of conversation - which, in my opinion is terrible.

Weddings bring out the best (and worst) in people, you never know.

I would let him rent the tux to be on the safe side.

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