I am having a bridal dinner for my 11 girls. Original date was sunday- yes the one with the storm so I had to r/s it doing it feb 4th a friday night. well here is the drama 1 of the girls is complaining b/c she wont take off of work that night and why wont I have it on a sat or sun. I come from a big family in feb and mar especially march since easter is in there my sat and sundays are booked up with birthday parties galore I have 3 nephews all turning 1 and surprise 30th etc. and my mom wants me to keep my sundays open for the shower- anyhow she is complaining b/c she thinks i should do it on a sat or sun when SHES avail!!!!! 2 of the girls are in florida so they wont be here either. I dont understand Im doing this for them and explained too in a newsletter how its important to be here b/c I am giving them something( their day of jewelry and pocketbooks I filled with a mirror tissues lipstick and mints) so my uncle gets on the phone my BM is his fiance and says to me why did you ask her to be a bridesmaid and then youre doing bridesmaid things and she cant be there and we are willing to drive there- they now live in PA so I should do it on a sat or sun and Im not looking hard enough to schedule it that way. I called my mom so upset about the things he said and how he made me feel like I had to defend my decision to do it on a friday night. 2 of my girls have to bring their kids b/c they cant get babysitters- the others jr have a basketball game out east and going to come after- he thinks no one else is going out of their way to come!!!! my mom thinks they may pull out of the BP- frankly I hope they do- she is the only one that complained about the dress the price and now this- ughhhhhhhh
should I be pissed at them for this? and how is it not awkward now after what he said? anyone have any advice? how would you handle this?
girlygrl33
Posted:
Member since
Re: OK I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!
Posted by SomethingBlu
OK, because I have been through my FAIR share of hurt, pain and aggravation due to others and am responsible for a few rambling posts, I am sending LOTS of your way! Breathe, relax, take it all in perspective. Pray - God listens best when we're at a loss. With that said, you cannot change people, CK is right...and for whatever reason weddings make those closest to us act weird and do and say things that would never be said under normal circumstances...give it a few days, speak to her directly, once you take that hot bath and see if you can both come to a conclusion that makes you both happy. If she can't come...offer to mail her pictures and her present along with a letter stating the 'minutes' of the festivities...and let her know she was missed but you understand. YES, this means you have to be a REALLY big person, but breathe, put yourself in her shoes and try and be calm. Remember that we're here to help - so post and vent...feel better!
On a happier note - you're almost at 1000 posts! YEAY!
OMG I didnt even realize that almost 1000 yippy!!!!
Tjay
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Re: OK I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!
WOW, heated post..... I also agree with you that your Uncle was out of line. I too have BM's that are out of state and 2 in NYC. I have 2 close to home. It is very hard to get together even before they were in my wedding because of the distance. I also know that I was an out-od-state BM and tried to attend what I could. Your BM that is in PA, I feel bad for both of you. SHe wants to be around and you want her around but schedules clash. Do what you can, schedule when you can and plan when you can....all your BM's will fall into place. I wonder? Was the PA BM a friend before you asked her or was/is she a person that you had to ask because of family obligation? If she was a friend it may of been a lighter conversation with the date issue and possibly your Uncle may not of gotten involved. Am I making sense? I understand how you feel...don't worry, it will all work out.
girlygrl33
Posted:
Member since
Re: OK I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!
Posted by Tjay
WOW, heated post..... I also agree with you that your Uncle was out of line. I too have BM's that are out of state and 2 in NYC. I have 2 close to home. It is very hard to get together even before they were in my wedding because of the distance. I also know that I was an out-od-state BM and tried to attend what I could. Your BM that is in PA, I feel bad for both of you. SHe wants to be around and you want her around but schedules clash. Do what you can, schedule when you can and plan when you can....all your BM's will fall into place. I wonder? Was the PA BM a friend before you asked her or was/is she a person that you had to ask because of family obligation? If she was a friend it may of been a lighter conversation with the date issue and possibly your Uncle may not of gotten involved. Am I making sense? I understand how you feel...don't worry, it will all work out.
Good point, no we werent friends she has been dating my unlce for 2 yrs and they just got engaged. my uncle and i are like brother and sister he is 3 1/2 yrs older than me. I thought it would be nice to have them walk down together and a nice way to welcome her into the family. I hope I didnt make a mistake.
Tjay
Posted:
Member since
Re: OK I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!
I am sure you didn't make a mistake...You had to have a feeling of asking her when you did. You are probably not the only one that has had concerns like this. A wedding for many is a stressful time, even though we love every minute.... Good Luck
