OK, maybe you ladies can help....

Alright ladies, I'm having my first invite problem.
Help??

Soooo.... my assistant from my old job is going to be in my bridal party (we became very close in 3 years) and she has a daughter that's 14 yrs old and mentally disabled. By the way, she's a single parent.

Now, her mother has come with her at times to help me try on dresses and i'm friendly with her too. I decided to invite her parents together and not her daughter. I feel bad b/c my wedding is over very late, but I really don't want to spend $195 on her plate. Additionally, she doesn't behave very well sometimes and tends to get a little loud.

PS. We're not having kids at the wedding - only my daughter (obviously) and Jeff's nephew (our ringbearer)

What do you all think? What you invite her?
She has already said to me 'Oh, it's going to be so cute! Katie is going to love going to your wedding!' Urghhh.... I hate this stuff :(

IM SHOCKED SHE WOULD IMPOSE ON YOU LIKE THAT AND SAY SOMETHING!
THAT IS RUDE OF HER!

THAT IS TOUGH SITUATION- I DONT KNOW WAHT I WOULD DO- I GUESS I WOULD NOT PUT THE NAME ON THE INVITATION BUT THAT IS INVITING HER TO DISCUSS IT WITH YOU..PRETTY MUCH JUST BUYING YOU TIME

MAYBE INVITE HER AND HOPE SHE DOESNT COME?

GOSH THAT IS SO AWKWARD.

IF YOU DONT INVITE THE DAUGHTER, SHE MAY TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY AND GET MAD..YOU MAY LOSE HER AS A FRIEND- AND A BM- JUST THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES. WAHT DOES FH SAY?

THAT IS A REALLY HARD SIUATION THOUGH..HUGS TO YOU

If you are having adults only, I would tell her that. Tell her that although you would love for her daughter to come, your wedding is going to be adults only. 18&up - and if Katie was there, many of your guests would be offended because their children were not able to come. Also make sure you state that on the invitation.
Can her daughter come to the ceremony only? That way she can see her mom all dressed up and still feel like she is part of the day?

You may not be able to get out of this. I'm sure she has assumed that her daughter is invited.

You may have to bite the bullet on this and make a special exception.

Fh says 'no way!' But I feel bad b/c I know them and I'm close to them.

If she goes to the ceremony, then who's going to take her back? Her grandparents will be there and her mom has to stay for the rest of the party.

I guess I'll just say no kids. Ugh... maybe if I have a babysitter there it won't be so bad.
I don't know, all this stuff is so hard!!!!

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Posted by CynthiaandJeff

Fh says 'no way!' But I feel bad b/c I know them and I'm close to them.

If she goes to the ceremony, then who's going to take her back? Her grandparents will be there and her mom has to stay for the rest of the party.

I guess I'll just say no kids. Ugh... maybe if I have a babysitter there it won't be so bad.
I don't know, all this stuff is so hard!!!!

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Honestly, it's not your responsibility or concern. You're the couple, and you set the rules, and your guests have the choice to play by them or not participate. I think you're being more than fair and sweet by inviting her parents.

If it's Adults Only reception, she has to understand that and that's it. Let her worry about a caretaker.

FYI We are haivng an Adults only wedding

You got to let her now A) she is in the brdial party
B0 you have to give her time to find a sitter

I agree that you don't need to feel obligated to invite her daughter. It's an Adults Only reception! I think she can come to the ceremony and then your friend shoudl get a babysitter like every other adult that you're inviting is doing. I wouldn't feel bad about it.. .I think she would get the idea once she knows that no one else's children will be there. Children in the BP are an exception to that rule and I think most people get that...

GOOD LUCK!

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

If you are having adults only, I would tell her that. Tell her that although you would love for her daughter to come, your wedding is going to be adults only. 18&up - and if Katie was there, many of your guests would be offended because their children were not able to come. Also make sure you state that on the invitation.
Can her daughter come to the ceremony only? That way she can see her mom all dressed up and still feel like she is part of the day?

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I agree!

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Posted by donegal419

I agree that you don't need to feel obligated to invite her daughter. It's an Adults Only reception! I think she can come to the ceremony and then your friend shoudl get a babysitter like every other adult that you're inviting is doing. I wouldn't feel bad about it.. .I think she would get the idea once she knows that no one else's children will be there. Children in the BP are an exception to that rule and I think most people get that...

GOOD LUCK!

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ditto!!!!