OK -- On to another heated topic!! Toddlers sleeping in parents bed?

I admit, I was bad in the beginning too! I had Rebecca sleeping ON ME for the first two months! Toward the end, I got virtually no sleep, and never got anything else done, because I could not rest when she was sleeping - on the contrary, I could not MOVE when she was sleeping, because it was on me! But, I loved it, and resisted giving it up!

But, I realized that it would get worse later on, and someone was telling me that once she'll be able to call 'mommy', and cry for me at night, it would break my heart more!

So, we decided one Saturday morning, that as soon as we woke up, we would put her in her crib (first time ever in it), and she immediately fell asleep. We were SOOO lucky! That day, she explored the room she had to move around in it, and would quickly fall asleep. That night was not so easy, and it required several visits into the room to give her a pacifier and a hug & kiss, but then she would go to sleep.

She's been sleeping in her crib ever since, and it's SOOOO much better!!!

(On weekend mornings we will sometimes bring her in to our bed with us, but it's not really for her real sleep, so it hasn't hurt the process.)

It's much better to have her in her own crib, but I know I was lucky. I really don't know what I would do if she cried all night to get out. I know I couldn't let her cry it out, and everything I read then said it wasn't necessarily the best thing to do to let her cry it out at such a young age - she was only two months then (even the doctor said not to let her cry it out). But, they all said that when she reached 6 months it would be okay to do so. At least I didn't have to go through that. I do really feel for you who are going through this!!! But, just think (and I know this is easier said than done), as bad as it might be now, it will only get worse! Good luck ladies!

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Posted by JennRenee

I haven't reached this point yet, so I can't be of much help, but I do know it's something I want to avoid.

I mean with Patrick, 'King of Sleeping on a Diagonal', the dog and me, there's just no room for anyone else!

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Jenn!! you are on a roll today!! lol

I have no chillun, but I've been told that it's by far the worst thing to do!

All I can say is my BIL & SIL have Both my 3yo Nephew and 5yo Niece STILL IN THEIR BED!

They were making good progress with my Niece but she has been regressing lately. The 3yo will be with them until he is 30!

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Posted by JennRenee

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Posted by Claud2001

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Posted by Lee

....some day he won't have time for me and some day he's going to leave me and get married and I'll be the 'Mother-in-law'...o.k. I'm getting carried away but I enjoy our time and don't see how it can hurt.

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Did you crawl inside my head and pull this thought out? I swear, that silly 'he's going to leave me and get married and I'll be the 'Mother-in-law' thing goes through MY head ALL the time!

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Add me to that club.

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Me too!!!

I do not see anything wrong with co-sleeping if you are comfortable with it, but you are right that it will be harder to break the habit if it continues into toddlerhood. I have a book on sleeping and it suggests starting a sleep routine by 4 months when sleep habits start to form. My nephew is 3 1/2 and cannot fall asleep by himself. His parents put him in his bed after he is asleep on the couch for a while. When he wakes up in his bed during the night he goes into their room. They really have a crowded bed because when their now 16 month old was born they wanted to keep her in the bed too. And don't forget the cat. I guess I don't need to tell you what size bed they have.

Aidan is old enough to learn to sleep alone if you want him too. I suggest reading a sleep training book to help get you started.

I also wanted to add that my 19 year old brother still has trouble falling asleep unless the TV is on, and he like to sleep on the couch. He used to come in my bed when my parents stopped allowing him in their bed. Sleep habits rally do carry with you.

Thanks everyone for the great advice and suggestions... I guess it has also kinda become a guilty pleasure that we will soon be paying for ! I keep saying to myself that one day he will be telling mommy to get away -- and that he can do things without me.... So I am taking as much of him now as I can ! Ill keep you all posted!

I know it is a bad habit that I would hope I wouldn't start when we have kids one day. My SIL has my 2 1/2 year old twin nephews in her bed still (and likes it that way), they have a queen sized bed and both her and my BIL are at 5'10 and up!!! I could see when they were little and the sleep deprivation kicks in (since they aren't sleepers anyway) and one is awake and the other is asleep but now? I agree with whoever said about rolling over!!! Again, just MO since I don't have kids yet...

I will not have my baby in the bed with me...

I will have he / she in the bassinet next to me..and will prob check on he / she every 5 minutes but that's ok because:

1) I don't want me or my DH to roll over on the baby

2) I don't want them to become attached to our bed - everyone needs their own space, even a toddler.

Here is the benefits of co-sleeping

My Dh who would kill me if I stated this slept with parents until he was 5.... Maybe that is why he is such a good cuddler, I do make fun of him about it though

I'm with Jenn.
Between a 190 lb. husband and a 75 lb. dog that likes to sleep horizontally across the bed, I don't think that there's any more room!

We'll probably have a bassinet though.

I just have to add that before I had a baby there were lots of things that I thought 'I will never do': formula, letting baby cry-it-out, cosleeping, holding all the time, etc.

This is one of the most important lessons I've learned as a mother so far, you have to be flexible and easy going because things don't always go as planned. So, for those of you that don't have children yet, it's great that you know what you want, however, remember that it can change. It will give you an entirely different outlook!

Stacey, I have the book NCSS too. It's a great tool to have. I agree with whomever said you need lots of patience with it. Lyla has a strong sucking/nursing to sleep association, so it has some great tips about that in it.

NIHA, I must say, since I am not a mommy yet - I completely agree with you about saying 'I will not do this and that' and that you need to be flexible. Things happen and feelings change.

But I always thought I would never never bring a baby in the bed to sleep with us. Ask me in a a couple of years if I stuck to it! We shall see.

Another book about soothing a crying baby..

The Happiest Baby on the Block

I am reading it right now, makes alot of sense.

Though I plan to use a cradle next to the bed, if I *do* take the baby into the bed with us, how do you handle an infant in your bed? What I mean is, what precautions do you take to make sure you don't roll over, that they are not near any blankets or pillows, or near the edge of the bed, etc...

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Posted by MrsTC

But I always thought I would never never bring a baby in the bed to sleep with us. Ask me in a a couple of years if I stuck to it! We shall see.

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That's exactly what I mean!

Kate, I cannot stress how much I wish I had read more about sleep issues when I was pregnant. I think the fact that you are reading that book already is VERY smart and may help you a lot!! I wish someone had told me to get some books on parenting and sleep problems/solutions to read before Lyla was born. Although I was so wrapped up in my pregnancy and labor/delivery that I'm not sure how much I would have got out of any other books.

Here's one article that lists how to cosleep safely. There are lots of other sites taht you will find about safe cosleeping.

Cosleeping Safely

This is also something that Ive said I dont want to start the habit of. and most importantly of all, John is a VERY heavy sleeper. He will have an arm over me and not realize I am trying to undo his grip just to get some air so GOd forbid that was an infant who CANT lift daddy's HEAVY arm (and it feels like STONE when he's asleep!) So thats one of our big factors in NOT allowing him to sleep in the bed with us.

He has slept with us several times, when he was not feeling well, or if he just had a bad night. and of course its the most comforting and wonderful feeling to have this precious little thing right next to you...

One thing that we are going to 'pay for' as far as bad sleeping habits is that John Anthony has a VERY LATE bedtime (Betw 9 and 10:30)and we really dont mind it for now. We really enjoy his company in the evenings, and daddy hasnt seen him all day. So we just hang out, read books, him and daddy wrestle and play on the floor, and we let him just fall asleep by daddy's side, watching tv, cuddling etc. He wakes up by 7am, so its not 'the later to bed, the later he'll sleep'. Nope, not with him!
We had him in a great pattern months ago. I beleive it was 8:30 every night. For the most part, he'd cry very little or not at all, and go right to bed. Im not sure when or how we started this 'hanging out late' thing, but I think we started a bad habit ourselves, because now we're hoping to start a nice routine before baby#2 comes.
But wont his routine be interrupted when baby#2 wakes up in the middle of the night?

I slept in bed with my parents when I was a baby. I wasn't able to fall asleep on my own until I was 5. My mother has never complained about it. I guess she figured there was something that I *needed* from her.. and she was probably right. My mother was of the hippie school that she never forced me to give up anything if it wasn't a huge deal- pacifiers, falling asleep with her, etc. She pretty much let me do it until I was ready to stand on my own- her feeling that it would cause more harm to force me to do something I wasn't ready to do than to let me continue something that others thought was a *bad* habit. I am a pretty well adjusted person, I've done well in school, I'm married, and I can fall asleep on my own- so really- I don't think co-sleeping will cause any harm to your child. Heck- when I sleep over my parent's house I still will cuddle with my Mom on the couch. Maybe that makes us weird- but I guess I think it makes us loving & close.

Personally- I don't know what our child will need (when we finally have one) from us as parents- if our children feel uneasy in the crib in a room by themselves- then fine- I'll conceed to sharing my bed. If they are good to go on their own- then I guess they are just that type of kid.

Patrick was in a routine that he would wake up at like 5 or 6 AM & my lazy butt would put him in our bed. Which was great for me then he would sleep till 8 or 9.

But when we went away because it was a different house I let him sleep w/ us the first night. Well, I can tell you he only slept in the crib twice in 25 days!!! It sucked!! Now that we are back I have to get him back into the routine. It has not been easy!!

If you can manage to stay awake for 5 min ( I usually don't) then put him back in the crib & see if he will go back to sleep there,

Good Luck!!

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Posted by MrsTC

NIHA, I must say, since I am not a mommy yet - I completely agree with you about saying 'I will not do this and that' and that you need to be flexible. Things happen and feelings change.

But I always thought I would never never bring a baby in the bed to sleep with us. Ask me in a a couple of years if I stuck to it! We shall see.

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I have worked in Day Care for *gulp* 18 years. And this was one of the many things I said I would never do. When it's your own child all bets are off. My friends all tease me because I would always tell them what they 'shouldn't' do and I am doing a lot of those things