ok so my mom and dad is contributing a decent chunk of money to our wedding... we were looking at sample invites last night and she asked how we were going word them.... i just figured we would put me and fH would like you presence... blah blah blah... but she wants us to include her and my dads name on it... ok so i call FH and he tells me that he just talked to his mom and she feels sooooooooo awful(yeah ok whatever) that she cant contribute to the wedding( and i mean NOTHING) not even a card to congradulate us.... and that if we put my parents name on the invite that she would feel even worse. like its a slap in the face to her or somthng... but told him that is still the right thing to incude my parents name anyways... am i wrong for not wanting to include his mom or am i way off base on this one?? SO sorry so long!!
AngnShaun
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
im not including FH's parents for the same exact reason... they arent contributing, not even a card either FFIL even said no when our immediate families were going to dinner for our engagement... i dont give a flying eff what his parents think...
RGEC47
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
We had the same issue, FH felt it would be rude to his mom if we had my parents name (who is helping us pay for the wedding). I spoke to my mom and she understood so we just have our names the underneath it says 'together with our parents...'
MrsC2010
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
thats a tough one because you don't wanna offend anyone.
can you do 'Together with their parents' what way ur including everyone.
or
Say Mr. & Mrs. Brides Parents invite you to the wedding of
Bride
&
Groom
son of Groom's Mother
that way she is on the invite but its not saying she paid for it.
miamimerger
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
we are just not putting any parents' names on the invites because we don't want any feelings hurt.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
Well my grandparents and FH's parents contribtued. I put our names 'together with our families' so I wouldn't have to worry about leaving names off.
SummerBride10
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
If they aren't contributing you dont have to put their names on the invitation. If anything, just say you want to go a traditional invite that includes the brides' parents only,
elisa112101
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but my mom doesnt even want her name on it... she feels cause she is paying and FMIL isnt that she shouldnt be on the invtie at all... and FH finally just grunted and me'fine just do whaever you want'
Becca2010
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I don't think you're off base at all!!
First off, in the traditional sense, the bride's family pays for the wedding. People won't/shouldn't be surprised when they DON'T see FH's parents' names on there. It's pretty normal! IMO, FH's mom is being selfish. You have EVERY right and you SHOULD put your parents' names on the invite. It's about respect, NOT spite.
elisa112101
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
Posted by SummerBride10
If they aren't contributing you dont have to put their names on the invitation. If anything, just say you want to go a traditional invite that includes the brides' parents only,
thats what i told FH... i hoped it would help... maybe a bit
FutureLW
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
I understand where you're coming from but in the end it's probably easier just to have her included on the invite. I'm not sure what your relationship is with her but I just feel like the last thing I'd want to do is hurt my in-laws' feelings. My parents are paying for the wedding and I think his parents are contributing a little so this is how we are wording it...
Mr. & Mrs. request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daugher Lara to Christopher Son of Mr. & Mrs.
runnerbride1023
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
My parents are paying for 99% of the wedding (FH's parents are going to give us a generous gift) however my parents are insisting that both parents names are at the top of the invite because each family is excited for our wedding and they do not care about who is technically hosting the event.
AngnShaun
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
Posted by elisa112101
but my mom doesnt even want her name on it... she feels cause she is paying and FMIL isnt that she shouldnt be on the invtie at all... and FH finally just grunted and me'fine just do whaever you want'
then leave out the phrase with the parents all together...
Iluvpoodles
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Put 'together with their families' that way everyone is included and the word parents isn't on it or any specific names..
ourwedding9510
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
Traditionally you are to include whoever is paying for the wedding on the invitation. If you don't want to upset FH (not even thinking about FMIL) then maybe putting something like 'together with their parents' would be a nice compromise.
xela
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No you are not wrong. If you're parents are paying they should be acknowledged...plain and simple.
mrsdraskin2009
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Posted by MrsC2010
thats a tough one because you don't wanna offend anyone.
can you do 'Together with their parents' what way ur including everyone.
or
Say Mr. & Mrs. Brides Parents invite you to the wedding of
Bride
&
Groom
son of Groom's Mother
that way she is on the invite but its not saying she paid for it.
I agree. I personally think it would be rude but everyone has their own reasons.
JenBill61210
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
we are in the same situation, my parents are paying for our RH, but we also wanted to include FH's parents so we worded it like this:
Mr & Mrs. My Parents request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter
ME
to
FH
son of Mr. HIS DAD and Ms. HIS MOM
on Saturday...etc...
HTH!
GiannisWifey
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
our situation is a bit different....
I wanted FH parents names on their since they offered to help with the wedding, which we declined, since they will in turn help us with a downpayment......In that sense, we felt we should put their names on since they will be helping is in a big way in a few months....
You have every right to put your parents names on there....IMO, I would put his also out of respect, but I DEF would not leave your parents OUT of it......
AdriandSteve
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Re: ok please help me with your great advice!!!
I think since your parents are paying for most of the wedding I would use ettiquite as your excuse. Most invites have always said, 'Mr. & Mrs. So and so invite you to the marriage of their daughter..etc'.
You could always include your FH's parents under his name. 'son of Mr. & Mrs.. so and so.'
