Please tell me if I should not be upset. From my office I invited my two bosses and my best friend at the office. We see each other out of the office all the time and we go to lunch all the time. Seriously, one of my closest friends since I started working here 2.5 years ago....
So yesterday my Mom got a response that our mutual friend Tina responded no. So I had and inkling that my co-worker/friend Debbie was going to respond no as well. Well today Mom got the response and she is not coming! I am seriously floored and so disappointed and hurt. I feel awful. Meanwhile the 3 people from my office never once said hey we got the invitation it is nice, etc, etc. So I am really upset. Should I not be upset?? I mean she never even said anything to me? Please be honest, maybe I am making something out of nothing
Nitania13
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
I would be hurt and upset too, but I wouldn't say anything. Not that I'm against speaking up, but I feel like it would just make you look badly. Maybe she has a good reason, but if she did then why didn't she talk to you about it instead of acting cowardly, you know? That makes me think that she's not really as much of your friend as you are to her...and that hurts. I'm so sorry. I guess it's better to know now, than to have her come and you spend a lot of money on her & her date's plates (and they prob wouldn't have given you a good gift anyway) so count yourself lucky. I'm sorry sweetie!!!
megsher
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
I totally agree with you, but maybe she didn't feel comfortable talking about it at work, since only 3 people were invited.
Im a Pepper
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
Aww, I'm sorry you're upset. I would feel the same way! I agree that you shouldn't bring it up. The people who are the most important WILL be there for you on your special day!
ttdiff11
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
I would be upset but I dont think I'd share my feelings with coworkers about this. People who aren't getting married don't know you have to compliment the invitation or talk about the wedding. Don't be too upset, there will be plenty of other people at the wedding - you won't miss those two!
i agree!
coldasice217
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
Just want to play devil's advocate for a moment...
Is this girl in a relationship? Like seriously dating someone or engaged herself? Because if she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she rsvp-ed no because she doesn't plan on inviting coworkers to her own wedding. I only ask because one of my coworkers is getting married in July/August, and while I have no idea if he plans on inviting coworkers at all, or he does and just not me, if I do get invited I intend to RSVP no solely because then I would feel obligated in turn to invite everyone to my wedding, and it was not my plan to invite coworkers at all.
But if that's not the case or situation at all, I'm sorry you're upset about it. I would still mention something, at least say you're disappointed and wish she could have made it, so see the reaction.
missjones2007
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
it sounds like she is player hatin....i wouldnt worry about just keep it movin and there are going to be plenty people to celebrate your day....that would hurt me as well but you cant do nothing people who are ingorant
jenandmatt2009
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
aww..i would be upset too....they are not doing the right thing by you..they should have at least acknowledged the invitation and gave some sort of expaination.
i would be upset first.....and then i would be a biachh...i have my mean moments..would prob say something like...oh i just got ur responce back...so you did get my invite...and see what they say you might catch them off guard and at least get an appology or something
gina409
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
ooh im so sorry..that is awful i think u have every right to be upset i mean if u too r close i would think she would say to u im not going etc..i would def say to her i got the response and im sorry u cannot come and im surprised that u didnt tell me before..im so sorry this happened to u and please let us know what happened
Jsquared279
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
Posted by coldasice217
Just want to play devil's advocate for a moment...
Is this girl in a relationship? Like seriously dating someone or engaged herself? Because if she is, I wouldn't be surprised if she rsvp-ed no because she doesn't plan on inviting coworkers to her own wedding. I only ask because one of my coworkers is getting married in July/August, and while I have no idea if he plans on inviting coworkers at all, or he does and just not me, if I do get invited I intend to RSVP no solely because then I would feel obligated in turn to invite everyone to my wedding, and it was not my plan to invite coworkers at all.
But if that's not the case or situation at all, I'm sorry you're upset about it. I would still mention something, at least say you're disappointed and wish she could have made it, so see the reaction.
Actually she is divorced and not dating anyone. She is very much so a Ms. Independent. She always goes on and on about how she doesn't need a man. She did mention something very early on in my planning process about Snow being an issue since we live in Maryland and are traveling to LI for the wedding. But how in December could you respond no to something in February just in case there is snow?
Jsquared279
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
Thanks girls for all your love and support girls!! I appreciate all your honest responses. I am not sure if I am going to say anything. I agree that that may make me look bad. But I am considering saying something like 'Mom told me she got your response and you can't make it. I was so disappointed.' Or something along those lines.
But I guess it took this to make me understand that this is really her M.O. She doesn't do anything that is not on her terms or her turf. Whenever we hangout it has to be at her house and blah blah blah. So I guess really this whole situation made me realize that she really isn't the friend to me that I am to her....
But THANK YOU! For all you have said and done regarding this matter girls! :kis
Nuvia97
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
Definitely upsetting being how close you guys are. I would maybe just speak to her aside and ask if she received it, etc ...just for your own piece of mind. It can definitely hurt
dutchessev
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Re: Ok sitting at my desk fighting back tears...
I know you feel hurt but I wouln't say anything. You want to have people there who want to be there.
